


So I Can Stay With You

by saucekays



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Basically how Shippuuden should have ended, But Naruto comes with him!, Did I say slow burn?, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, I may have taken a few liberties with their soul connection, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oblivious, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Repressed Memories, Resolved Sexual Tension, Road Trips, Sasuke goes on his redemption journey, Slow Burn, Some Humor, Sort Of, Telepathic Bond, Touch-Starved, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Unreliable Narrator, Uzumaki Naruto Has Issues, i meant REALLY slow burn, rated for language and smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 61,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27577244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucekays/pseuds/saucekays
Summary: After the War, Sasuke is struggling: with the past, with Konoha, and with himself. He decides to go on a journey, one he hopes will bring him redemption and maybe some peace of mind.Naruto isn't willing to let him go so easily, so he does the obvious: invite himself along.While traveling across the lands, Naruto and Sasuke are forced to confront what lies between them. They make a lot of discoveries about themselves, their past, and their true feelings for each other.Very slow burn, canonverse, Sasuke POV (he is an unreliable narrator at times, be warned!). Honestly my take on what should have happened at the end of the anime.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke/Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 128
Kudos: 342





	1. Right Here

Sasuke didn’t stumble into the light. 

He moved forward into it, each step he took as certain and steadfast as his morals. Maybe he was a little disoriented, and maybe this meant he wasn’t completely balanced, but he certainly did _not_ stumble. 

Or at least this was what he told himself as his wrists and ankles ached under the weight of freedom from their shackles, as the bridge of his nose itched and smarted after losing the pressure of his blindfold, and as his eyes watered as he saw light for the first time in weeks. 

He moved slowly, more reluctant to leave prison than a pet bird to leave its cage, and cast a look back at the two guards who were eyeing him suspiciously. Evidently, they belonged to the majority of people who believed he should stay rotting in jail for the rest of his days (if he were to be kept alive at all); like the prison warden, the ANBU captains, the Konoha elders, and probably Tsunade the Hokage, and… 

Almost everyone, really. Which wasn’t surprising exactly, seeing as he… 

“HEY, BASTARD!” 

Well. It seemed he had spoken too soon. Everyone wanted Sasuke locked up except _him._

 _He_ w as running down the street towards the Uchiha, earning openly baffled looks from some and barely a blink from others. _He_ was wearing a ridiculously wide smile on his face, as if he were here to meet Sasuke after he had been on holiday rather than in jail. _He_ was Naruto, and he somehow seemed more energetic than ever, even at this distance. 

Sasuke curled his mouth up in a wry smile, though given the stiffness of every one of his muscles, he couldn’t vouch for its genuine appearance. Not that he had ever been very good at smiling, anyway. 

“Naruto.” 

The blonde seemed to screech to a halt in front of him, his entire body jolting forward and then back with the force it took to stop himself from crashing straight into Sasuke. His empty left sleeve flapped with the same motion, swinging by his side in an almost comedic way. 

And then Naruto was so _close_ all of the sudden — maybe Sasuke’s perceptions were simply off after weeks inside a jail cell with the only exposure to his friend being across six feet of space and iron bars with a blindfold over his eyes. He struggled to remember if this was normal behavior for his former teammate. Naruto’s eyes were wide, blinking at him full of life and curiosity, and no part of his body could have been more than six inches away from Sasuke.

His open and curious expression turned to a frown faster than the blink of an eye, and he squinted up at him suspiciously. 

“What are you up to, you bastard?”

“I have no idea what you mean,” Sasuke replied without even meaning to sound cold. He just genuinely didn’t know what Naruto was talking about. 

“There you go again,” Naruto muttered, continuing to eye him. 

“What?” Sasuke asked more impatiently, “You _idiot,”_ he muttered, because with Naruto looking at him so suspiciously, the prison guards were beginning to edge closer, radiating hostility. 

To his complete surprise, Naruto dropped the frown as quickly as he had summoned it and replaced it with a wide, teeth-baring grin. “There it is!” he laughed. “You were freaking me out for a second there.”

“What are you talking about?” 

Naruto looked nonplussed. “Well, when I call you ‘bastard’, it’s weird if you don’t insult me back.” 

When Sasuke stayed silent, he continued. “I ran down here yelling insults at you, and you just called me by my name. That was weird. But then you called me an idiot just now, so it’s all good! I just had to make sure you hadn’t gone completely loopy down in that cell.”

Sasuke managed an _actual_ small smile at that, sore muscles or not. He shook his head. “You _are_ an idiot.” 

Naruto rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I got it. Saying it once was enough. Now come on, these guys are creepy.” 

He motioned at the prison guards as he said that, who looked affronted, yet apparently didn’t want to glare at Naruto; so they doubled the intensity of their glares on Sasuke instead. The Uchiha ignored their stares and wordlessly fell in step next to Naruto. 

“So where are you staying?” Naruto asked. “You don’t have a house here anymore, right? Oh, well I guess you wouldn’t know. They sold your house about… Maybe two years after you left? I think it sold for a lot of money. Well, a fancy penthouse like that… I wasn’t surprised. Of course you wouldn’t have lived in a one-room apartment like the rest of us teen shinobi, isn’t that right, bastard?”

Sasuke paused in the middle of the small alley they were walking down. He turned slowly to face Naruto, face completely neutral. “I’m not staying anywhere.”

The other shinobi looked confused. “What do you mean? You need to sleep somewhere, don’t you? You can’t just sleep outside. I mean, you could, like you would if you were on a mission, but that would be weird to do in the middle of the village. Hey, you could always crash at my place for a night if you had to?” 

Despite having made up his mind weeks before, Sasuke felt a pang of apprehension knowing what he was going to tell Naruto. His friend, who had spent so long trying to drag him back here, was going to see him leave again the moment he walked free. It wasn’t that he felt bad for Naruto; both his life and Konoha’s existence would be better without Sasuke in it, at least for now. Besides, if Naruto wanted him here, it had to come from some misguided hope that Sasuke was a better person than he actually was. The fact that Sasuke had fallen far enough to feel the need to atone was proof of the opposite. 

And so Sasuke bored his mismatched gaze into Naruto’s questioning blue eyes, and told him the truth. “I’m leaving Konoha.” 

Confusion fled Naruto’s face and was replaced with something hard, not unlike an expression he would wear in battle. When Naruto spoke, his voice was quieter than Sasuke had heard it in weeks. “You don’t mean that.” 

“Yes, I do.” 

“Why?” The question came out too fast, too stilted. 

For all his reasons, Sasuke wasn’t sure how to answer. “I have to… see the world.” The half-truth seemed heavy and reluctant to leave his mouth. “And its people. I need to know what I could have destroyed.” 

Naruto’s face was in shadow. “You’re… trying to atone?”

“I suppose so,” Sasuke said stiffly. 

SIlence fell between them, and there was a moment when everything was so still that even the sun seemed to freeze on its path across the sky. 

The world regained motion when Naruto spoke. “You don’t have to, you know.” 

“But I want to.” His voice was heavy with conviction. _I need to._

Naruto looked skeptical. “I never thought that you…” He shifted his weight. “Sasuke, as the future Hokage, I want to know. Do you want to leave Konoha?”

Naruto was edging too close to the truth for Sasuke’s liking, and he debated how to answer. But lying here would be too obvious. “No, I don’t.”

“You know, Sasuke… I’ll be Hokage soon, and when I am, I can take you off probation,” he said earnestly. “I can also give you permission to restore the Uchiha compound, if…” 

“You're not the Hokage yet,” Sasuke interrupted, tone gentler than the words he spoke. “Besides, even if you were… I would still have to do this.” 

“Can’t you forgive yourself if the village does?” Naruto asked suddenly. He was smiling, but looked a little sad. 

_He’s become perceptive,_ Sasuke realized ruefully. _I can’t count on him not noticing anything anymore._ Naruto’s question burned in his head. _Of course I couldn’t forgive myself. Konoha’s opinions mean nothing to me. And no matter who else forgives me, I never could._

Not that he was going to admit any of that out loud. “There’s more to it than that,” he finally settled on. 

With that truth, he turned on his heel and continued down the alley. 

“Wait!”

Sasuke waited. 

“You aren’t leaving right now, are you?”  
  
Sasuke turned his head slightly, watching Naruto over his shoulder with only the Rinnegan. “I am.” 

Naruto came closer. “Stay here for one more day.”  
  
“Why would I do that?” 

“Because,” Naruto said with a mixture of mischief and stubbornness in his gaze, “I’m coming with you, and I need a day to sort things out with Sakura, Kakashi and Tsunade-baachan.” 

“You’re…” Sasuke couldn’t quite bring himself to finish the question. _Is he joking?_

Naruto grinned. “Yup!” 

“Idiot, you can’t just…” 

“Yes I can,” Naruto was back to sounding petulant. “If _you_ can, I sure as hell can too.” 

Sasuke was incredulous. “This isn’t a vacation. I’m leaving, Naruto. I’m going to be gone for a long time. I’ll be sleeping outdoors almost every night. I’ll be doing simple things— Maybe D-rank and C-rank missions.” He racked his brain for something that would be sure to change his friend’s mind. “And… I’m going to cook all of my own food. There won’t be any ramen at all.”

Naruto stared at him, wide-eyed, and for a moment Sasuke thought he had succeeded. 

And then the other shinobi laughed. He sank back against the wall of the alley, his peals of laughter echoing in the small space. Sasuke just stood there in disbelief. 

“You just…” Naruto tried to force out the words between fits of giggles. “You looked so serious, all scary Rinnegan and prison inmate hair, and to start threatening me about ramen…”

Sasuke crossed his arms and cleared his throat. “Are you done?” 

“Yeah…” Naruto’s residual smile slowly faded and was replaced with a serious expression. He stood up straight. “Sasuke.. Do you think I spent so long dragging your sorry ass back here just so you could leave again?” 

Sasuke started to reply, but Naruto held up a hand to silence him. “There’s no way in hell. If you don’t want to stay here right now I understand that, but you can’t just expect me to let you go wandering off by yourself either, alright?” 

_There’s no way I’ll be able to change his mind,_ Sasuke realized. _Not when he’s this serious._ Whatever else might have changed about Naruto, his hair and his height and his powers of perception, his stubbornness had only become even stronger. Conceding to this, Sasuke finally managed a stiff nod of agreement. 

“Good. Now I’m going to the Hokage tower to tell Tsunade-baachan and the others, got it? You go over to my house... you know where it is, don’t you? If you’re not there when I’m back, I’m tracking you down all over again and I won’t be so nice this time. Oh, unless you’re out to get ramen. That’s fine, you can do that. Actually, here!” Naruto stuck a hand into his pocket, and pulled out a bill. “They didn’t give you any money when they let you out, right? So here’s some, for groceries. You better pay me back later though, you bastard! Anyway, I’ll be back soon, alright? I’ll see you later.” 

With that, he bounded up and over the rooftops, leaving Sasuke behind with only the shouted afterthought of “Key’s under the cactus pot!” for the entire neighbourhood to hear. 

Sasuke stood in the alley for a while longer, not sure what to make of what had just happened. All he knew for certain was that there was no possibility of talking Naruto out of his plan now. The only chance Sasuke had of being able to go alone was if Naruto was expressly forbidden to accompany him… although even then, he couldn’t be sure. If Naruto really wanted something he would do it, with permission or without. 

The Uchiha rolled his eyes. “That usuratonkachi…” was all he said out loud, before turning around and heading towards Naruto’s house, which he knew he would be able to find even after all these years. 

*** 

Sasuke no sooner arrived at Naruto’s front doorstep than he left again. He didn’t feel like sitting around Naruto’s small and undoubtedly messy apartment for who knew how many hours in a row… He had only just gotten out of jail, after all. _Although,_ he thought grimly, _I’ll feel like I’m trapped in a cell until I leave this place altogether._

Trying to ignore that idea, he set off looking for a grocery store— Naruto had lent him money, after all. He walked slowly, hoping that maybe not _everyone_ in town would recognize him immediately. His fringe still wasn’t quite long enough to hide the Rinnegan, but he pulled his hood up and cast his gaze downward. 

Naruto lived close to several different stores, but after quick glances into each of them, Sasuke decided to go further afield. These stores were all far too busy; someone would be sure to recognize him. In fact, Sasuke was fairly certain that he had seen one of his former Academy classmates inside one of the buildings. Although he no longer knew her name, there was no doubt that she would know his. 

And so Sasuke turned and headed towards a civilian district he had barely set foot in before, except perhaps on a D-rank mission or two when he was a student at the Academy. 

He had hoped the more unfamiliar streets would clear his head a little, but to his unpleasant surprise he found he remembered everything much more clearly than he would ever want to. That street corner, where he had caught a cat with Sakura… that street food cart, where Itachi had bought him tomato soup… that fountain, where he had fought Naruto after the latter had splashed him with the rancid water… 

And worse still were the nooks and crannies and small items which flared red in his field of vision, prompting a memory to swim to the surface of his mind, replaying itself as clearly as if it was happening all over again… Things the Sharingan had saved, some purposefully and some not. 

_I really have to get out of here,_ Sasuke thought. _Tomorrow morning._

He briefly wondered what effect Naruto would have on his journey overall. _I’m trying so hard to escape this place… Naruto, will you carry too many memories of it along with you?_

He shook his head. _Fuck._ He could still barely believe Naruto had actually pulled all of this. _After all these years, isn’t he tired of following me?_

Sasuke wasn’t stupid, especially when it came to Naruto. At this point, like it or not, Naruto was the person, if not the _thing,_ he knew the most about. He had seen Naruto’s heart and his path, and the previous several weeks in solitary confinement had given him plenty of time to realize the extent of what Naruto had done for him— what he had been doing for him this entire time, even during the long years in which he, wielder of both Sharingan and Rinnegan, had been more blind than anyone else. 

No, he knew very well what Naruto had sacrificed to get him back. The question now was _why_ his friend was still so adamant on accompanying him now. He had returned, he had served some time, he wasn’t planning to take over the world anymore… What more did Naruto want from him?

To add even more to his confusion, there was the matter of Naruto becoming Hokage. Ever since Sasuke had known the idiot, fully fifty percent of what he had yelled about was becoming Hokage. (The other fifty percent had been about either ramen or Sasuke himself— though Sasuke wasn’t sure of the exact proportions of these two.) And throughout the last few years, he had _actually_ managed to get himself into a position where he was being considered for the role. This just made his decision to follow Sasuke to god-knows-where that much stranger. 

If there was one thing that was obvious about Naruto, it was that he never gave up. _Especially_ not on his impossible dreams. He would do anything to achieve his goal of becoming Hokage. Which meant… 

_Oh_ , Sasuke realized dumbly, _that must be what he’s doing._

Obviously, his decision to accompany Sasuke must have something to do with becoming Hokage. Maybe he was required to spend a year abroad or something, seeing the country. There had to be some sort of bureaucratic requirement like that, right? 

_Yeah, that must be it._

Nodding slowly, Sasuke continued walking until he finally found a grocery store inconspicuous enough to walk into. He mindlessly picked up a few necessities, finding he preferred to retreat into his mind and pretend he was literally anyone else while in Konoha. The only thing to briefly bring him back to reality was the instant ramen section: _What the hell brand does Naruto like again?_ He wondered. Shrugging, he ended up buying a few of each. 

*** 

By the time Sasuke made it back to Naruto’s apartment, the sun was low on the horizon. It was only once he made it up to the front door that he realized he had a small problem. 

He was carrying a decently large bag of groceries, securely tucked under his one remaining arm and supported from below by his hand. This was fine in itself, except now he realized he had no viable way to knock on the door. Putting the bag down only to have to pick it up again wouldn’t work; neither him nor Naruto would have a good time trying to pick up an overstuffed paper bag with no handles up off the ground with only one hand each. 

Pursing his lips at the slight awkwardness which was to ensue, Sasuke turned his right side forward and slammed his shoulder lightly against the door. It made a thudding sound which Sasuke hoped Naruto would be able to recognize as a knock. 

After standing there in slight discomfort for a few moments, he heard the sound of footsteps on the other side of the door. Naruto greeted him with a smile and a loud “Hey, bastard!” which Sasuke took to mean his meeting with Kakashi and Tsunade had gone well. 

His friend confirmed as much as he took over the bag of groceries and took them to the kitchen while Sasuke stayed behind to take off his boots. 

“That baa-chan agreed to let me go!” he chattered excitedly. “She was really pissed at first, gave me an hour-long lecture before I had even explained _why_ I was going, but she came around. She’s making me get a replacement arm though, it’s sitting in my room. It looks so _weird,_ Sasuke!” Naruto was moving fast in the kitchen— the bag was rustling loudly, drawers were slamming open and shut and Sasuke looked up for a second when he heard the unmistakable sound of something falling over and then muttered cursing from Naruto. He soon continued speaking as if nothing had happened. “Wasn’t sure if _you_ would, though. I swear I thought you had run off for a moment there, but— _Hey!_ Sasuke, is that ramen?” 

While Naruto continued to talk from the kitchen, Sasuke took a few seconds to look around. A wave of emotion threatened to spill into his heart as he realized how many years it had been since he had been here last, and he shook his head to rid himself of the nostalgia. Walking the streets of Konoha this afternoon had awoken enough memories; there was no need to be caught up in thoughts about Naruto’s home now, too. 

“Hey, Sasuke, why’d you get _vegetable_ ramen?? What kind of weirdo buys that, when there are so many different meat flavors? I don’t understand you, seriously…” 

Naruto’s voice sounded like it was floating down the hall; more like it was playing from a recording than present in the same space as Sasuke. 

Trying to lose the building sense of disorientation, Sasuke padded down the hallway to where he still knew the kitchen was. Naruto was excitedly unpacking the groceries and talking; Sasuke wasn’t sure how much of it was actually addressing him and how much was just Naruto talking to himself. 

He stood there observing his former teammate for a few seconds and let his thoughts wonder once again. _Naruto... What is there for you on this journey?_ Naruto had travelled around Fire Country before; he had experienced the simple life; he certainly had nothing to atone for. _Everything I am looking for is something Naruto already has._

His train of thought stopped short when he realized Naruto was staring at him.

“—S’ke?” Naruto had asked him a question, and Sasuke had no idea what it had been. He shook his head slowly. 

“I— I only asked if you were going to let me take some of this ramen with us, or if you were going to be an ass about it,” Naruto was observing him now, and Sasuke felt uncomfortable.

 _Why are you coming with me?_ He wanted to ask, but he suddenly made a request instead. “Naruto, you can’t ask me questions about what I’m doing or why.” 

Naruto opened his mouth in confusion. “You mean… When we’re on the road?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay…” he agreed slowly. He looked as if he wanted an explanation, but changed his mind. “Look, Sasuke. If you really don’t want me to come along, I’ll stay here. It’s just… I was thinking…” — he gestured at nothing— “After being alone for so long… do you really want to go off by yourself again, Sasuke?”

The question was honest, but turned awkward as it hung in the air. Sasuke didn’t know what to say. 

“Anyway, let’s eat ramen!” Naruto exclaimed, breaking the silence and turning away once again. “We’ll sleep soon, so that we can leave early tomorrow morning. I already told Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan to meet us at the gate to say goodbye.” 

Sasuke nodded at Naruto’s back, then continued to observe his friend as the latter busied himself with preparing the ramen. 

_I thought I knew what my existence would look like after prison,_ he thought. _I was going to lead a solitary life, traveling the lands and helping whoever I could. If Konoha insisted, I would gather intel for them where I could, but I would not return at all if I could help it._

This was the livelihood Sasuke had resigned himself to— If he was to be a free man in the eyes of the law, he would see to it that he was forever burdened by heavy chains forged of his own design. This was the only cure for his restlessness; there was no peace in freedom for him anymore. 

_Naruto…_ he thought, _as usual, you are changing the course of my actions. You truly are unpredictable._

Eventually, the man he was thinking of called him over, admonishing him for not even bothering to help set the table. As they ate, Sasuke smiled and nodded in response to Naruto’s various attempts at conversation-making; but his thoughts remained firmly fixed on the question at the forefront of his mind. 

_Why are you so determined to change what I do? And, Naruto… How will you change it all this time?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm so excited to announce my first multichaptered SNS fic, "So I Can Stay With You". It's going to be a long ride, so I hope you're ready! Currently, I have about half of the chapters written: there will be 20 in total, and a new update every Saturday. If you want, you're welcome to message me on twitter @sasugayuchlha to talk/ask about anything you'd like! 
> 
> I'd like to give very special thanks to my beta readers Julia and LB, for catching all my errors and offering amazing advice. Also to Siu and Sea, for hyping up my work to no end :) 
> 
> See you next week! 
> 
> \- Skadi


	2. On the Open Road

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke set out on their journey. They navigate some of the realities that come with traveling together.

The next morning was crisp and clear, and Sasuke woke up easily. For a moment, he frowned as he took in his surroundings: it was uncanny to wake up in Naruto’s house after so many years. _Strange how reality could come to this_ he reflected, and stood up to get breakfast. 

Last night, he had insisted on staying in the living room: it would be wrong for Naruto to give up his own bed, and _no, we aren’t going to both sleep on the floor like we did when we were genin, idiot._

He passed Naruto’s bedroom door as he headed down the hallway to the bathroom, and could hear loud snores coming from inside. He paused briefly, then rolled his eyes. _He said he’d wake up at the same time as I did,_ Sasuke remembered, _but it’s to be expected from him._ Sasuke’s mouth quirked upwards a little, in spite of himself. _I’ll give him fifteen more minutes to wake up, otherwise, I’ll do it for him._

He stole quietly around the apartment, first going to wash up and then making himself a cup of tea and a bowl of rice. He managed to keep himself from making any loud noises, despite technically being unfamiliar with Naruto’s bathroom and kitchen. 

After quickly finishing breakfast and hearing nothing from the other room, he decided it was time to wake Naruto up. He carefully approached the door and then opened it. It made a definite sound, but the mass lying on the bed in the corner didn’t stir. 

Sasuke observed him with a hint of disapproval in his eyes before knocking on the door, hard. The wood acted as a good soundboard, and his three thumps echoed loudly through the room. 

Naruto, however, continued to snore. 

Sasuke stared for a brief moment, taken aback. _Is he pretending?_ he wondered, then shook his head when Naruto let out a particularly loud snore. 

He knocked three more times, making sure the sound was heard plainly. “Naruto,” he said, a sharp note in his voice. 

Still, his friend didn’t move. 

“Naruto,” he said again, louder this time. 

Again, no response. 

Sasuke sighed, deciding against another set of knocks. Clearly, he would have to try a different approach. It was only a question of _what._

He stalked over to the bed until he was standing over Naruto. From here, he couldn’t quite see his friend’s face: it was obscured in a pillow, which he held tightly against himself. His body was mostly covered by a quilt, and he was wearing a t-shirt, so there was no viable place to slap him. 

Sasuke sighed again, in annoyance. Was it really going to come to this? 

Just then, the quilt and pillows began to shake. Sasuke’s eyes followed the motion, and he saw Naruto’s shoulders were shaking as well. 

“Wh—” he began to ask, but he was interrupted by a rather loud snort, and he snapped his mouth shut. 

Naruto then turned to face Sasuke, his hair wild and his eyes still tired, but very obviously laughing. “Haha!” he grinned. “I totally got you.” 

Sasuke took a step back, drawing his clothes around him and fighting an inexplicable feeling of embarrassment. “You didn’t,” he tried to argue, but Naruto was not so merciful. 

“You thought I was asleep,” he taunted, “I can’t believe I fooled you with _that_ trick…” 

“Well,” Sasuke huffed, turning towards the door. “We have to leave soon, so you should stop laughing and get up now.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Naruto said, still guffawing. “There’s no rush, you know.” 

“Hm,” Sasuke replied. “If you still want to come, there is.” 

“Fine, I get it!” Naruto said, and Sasuke heard him get out of bed. “Calm down.” 

“...There’s rice in the kitchen,” he said, before leaving Naruto’s room and closing the door behind him. 

He busied himself with his knapsack until Naruto emerged, fighting a slight blush which seemed determined to show itself on his cheeks. 

“You must be in a good mood, Sasuke!” Naruto greeted him excitedly. “Even leaving breakfast out for me… I don’t know if you’ve ever done that!” 

Sasuke didn’t deign to respond, but he did reflect somewhat on Naruto’s words. A “good mood” might be an exaggeration, but he was feeling lighter than usual at the prospect of leaving Konoha behind. And although Naruto’s presence was a strange new factor, he couldn’t bring himself to be opposed to the idea. 

At least, as long as Naruto wasn’t making a mess. He grimaced at the smell of burnt rice which was suddenly drifting down the hall from the kitchen

“Oops!” he heard Naruto explain. 

_How the hell did he manage to burn pre-cooked rice?_ Sasuke wondered, but he didn’t even attempt to find an answer. 

“This is your fault, Sasuke!” Naruto said when he entered the room. He was struggling to scrape a layer of rice from the bottom of a pot. 

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. “I managed to not burn my breakfast,” he pointed out dryly. 

“Yeah, but you made me get up super early!” Naruto exclaimed. “If you had woken up like a normal person, I wouldn’t have been this tired, and then my food wouldn’t have gotten burned.” 

Sasuke shook his head in disbelief, directing his attention from Naruto’s plight towards the bags they had packed the night before. To his welcome surprise, Naruto had laid his bag neatly next to Sasuke’s. 

As Naruto ate his breakfast, he continued to joke and make conversation. Sasuke wasn’t sure how to respond the majority of the time, as he was preoccupied with their departure, but Naruto seemed not to have any similar concerns. 

_How is leaving for him?_ Sasuke found himself wondering. _It’s strange how he can always act like his usual self, even in a situation like this._

Soon, they were both ready to depart. It was seven-fifteen when Naruto locked the door behind him. The extra fifteen minutes were due to him struggling to attach his new prosthetic arm— _haven’t you worn it in the lab before, idiot?_ Sasuke had asked. Naruto was adamant that he had, and had performed several elaborate gestures and movements to prove it, but he still ran into trouble trying to attach it to his stump. Sasuke had begun to fear he would have to help him, but fortunately, Naruto had figured it out himself while making the two of them only slightly late for their appearance at Konoha’s front gate. 

Although the air in the village was clear, beyond the gate was swirling morning mist. There were two figures standing within it: as Naruto and Sasuke drew closer, they saw Sakura and Kakashi standing there.

“Good morning!” Naruto cried when he saw them, and he immediately ran over to Sakura to show off his new arm. 

Sasuke approached the group more slowly, a sense of awkwardness beginning to hang over him. Sakura hadn’t visited him in prison at all, and Kakashi had only come in to question him. 

“Good morning,” he said in a subdued tone of voice as he drew level with them. 

His two former teammates looked at him evenly, and Naruto fell silent as he observed the tension between them. 

“Good morning, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura then said quietly. Kakashi simply nodded at him, unsmiling behind his mask. Naruto kept looking back and forth between all of them with uncertainty, as if he half-expected them to start fighting each other. 

“You’re really going, then,” Sakura said, and Sasuke nodded numbly in reply. 

“I’m not sure whether Naruto going with you is going to make things better or worse,” Kakashi sighed. “I’m not sure whether to tell you to take care of Naruto, or the other way around.” 

“It’ll be fine!” Naruto said, summoning that immutable grin of his back on his face in an instant. “I’m going to help Sasuke on his super-secret mission.” 

Sasuke frowned slightly. He had told Naruto very little about his plans and evidently, his companion was taking his request for no questions from the night before seriously. 

“Can you tell us where you’ll be, at least?” Sakura asked, looking faintly worried. “Naruto has to send monthly reports to Tsunade-sama anyway.” 

“I don’t think so,” Sasuke politely declined. “I’m— We’re not entirely sure of the route, as of yet.” 

“Just make sure Naruto is able to send those letters,” Kakashi said, watching Sasuke closely out of the corner of his eye. 

Sasuke inclined his head as sincerely as he could. 

“Oh, and Naruto,” Sakura said hurriedly. “Make sure you take care of that new arm. You remember what Tsunade-sama said about it, don’t you?” 

“Yeah, yeah, Sakura-chan!” Naruto waved her off, grinning widely. “I know it all, don’t worry so much.” 

Observing the two of them, Sasuke suddenly realized how close they had grown during the past years. _That makes sense,_ he reasoned, _that the loss of one teammate would bring the remaining ones closer together._ Still, the sight before him begged for other questions. _Naruto obviously cares for this village and the people in it. He and Sakura seem to be best friends. So why is he leaving this all behind?_

The question continued to lurk in his mind, pressing there even after the explanations of Hokage training and international terrorist-safekeeping had been applied. _Surely this isn’t standard procedure for future Hokage,_ he thought. _And they could send anyone else to keep track of me. Or they could have just kept me locked up._

 _Still,_ he concluded as he watched Naruto give Sakura a hug goodbye, _that’s a question for another day. Right now, the priority is to leave Konoha and set out on this journey._

Finally, Naruto spoke up. “I think we should probably be leaving now,” he said. “Sasuke wants to be leaving all early.” 

Sasuke was silently grateful. This encounter had rapidly evolved into Naruto and Sakura talking animatedly to each other, as he and Kakashi awkwardly stood on either side of them and tried not to make eye contact with each other. 

“Okay, Naruto,” Sakura said. She was smiling softly. “Have a good trip.” 

“Don’t get into trouble,” Kakashi said sternly, causing Naruto to laugh. 

“Don’t worry so much, either of you,” Naruto said. “We’ll be fine, won’t we, Sasuke?” He sidled up to Sasuke conspiratorially, and Sasuke found it in himself to nod stiffly. 

“Goodbye, Naruto!” Sakura said, giving him one last hug, which Naruto returned enthusiastically. 

And with that, they began to walk. Half of the original Team 7 leaving, and half staying behind. Naruto turned back a few more times to wave, but the mist soon swirled in and filled the distance between both parties. 

They put a few hundred meters between them and the village before Naruto broke the silence between them. 

“So!” he said, walking in a carefree manner with his arms behind his head. “Where are we going first?” 

_No questions,_ Sasuke remembered the request he had made, but he supposed this was something Naruto was bound to discover anyway. _If he can tell direction, that is._

“North,” he said, and immediately was asked something else. 

“What’s up North?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke hesitated before answering, but supposed he owed Naruto at least some basic mission information. “I’m trying to find a certain hideout,” he declared. 

“Oh?” Naruto asked. “Does it belong to anyone we know?” 

Sasuke kept his face carefully blank as he replied. “I believe Danzo used to work from there, and used the place to store information.” 

Naruto was quiet for a moment, seeming to sense the sensitive nature of the topic. “Is this about his… organization?” he asked. 

“Partially,” Sasuke conceded. “I’m looking for information on various schemes he was involved with.” 

“Like what?” 

Sasuke frowned towards the horizon. “I’d rather not say.” 

“Oh, yeah,” Naruto sounded accepting, if a little surprised, from beside him. “That’s alright.” 

Internally, Sasuke let out a sigh of relief. _So he did listen to me last night, after all._

The air between them began to feel slightly awkward, but then Naruto changed the subject. “I’m so _tired_ ,” he complained loudly. “Why did you make us leave so early again?” 

_Because I wanted to spend as little time in Konoha as humanly possible._ “Because I could,” he grunted, rolling his eyes at Naruto’s answering groan. 

“Will you catch me if I fall asleep on my feet?” Naruto asked, miming a dramatic fall.

“No,” Sasuke answered. 

To his surprise, Naruto began to laugh. “You still have your sense of humor!” he said. “But seriously, I’m tired,” he added. 

“If you fall asleep somewhere, I’ll keep going without you,” he said dryly. 

“Well don’t count on it, bastard,” Naruto replied, suddenly sounding more serious for reasons Sasuke couldn’t fathom. “You’re not going anywhere.” 

“Hm,” Sasuke replied, vaguely unsure of the meaning behind Naruto’s words. 

Naruto didn’t really wake up until around noon, when he suddenly flopped down on the grass beside the road. Despite Sasuke’s earlier promise of not waiting, he paused to see what Naruto was doing. 

“I’m hungry!” Naruto said. “I think we should have lunch.” 

Sasuke grunted. “We’ve only been walking for a few hours.” 

“So?” his companion retorted. “I’m hungry. You decided when we leave, so I think it’s fair that I get to decide when we eat.” 

_This isn’t your journey,_ Sasuke thought, but he didn’t say it. Instead, he settled on: “That’s not a very safe place to stop.” 

“What do you mean,” Naruto asked, head muffled as he searched through his knapsack for food. 

“Idiot, we’re right next to the road. Anyone could see us here.” 

“So? It’s not like we’re going to be attacked in the middle of the road.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying we would be. All I’m saying is that I would rather be a little less conspicuous.” 

Naruto straightened up and rolled his eyes. “C’mon. Lighten up a little.” He gestured at the scenery around them: they were under a lone tree in the middle of a plain which was about a kilometer in diameter, and surrounded by forest. “We’ll be able to see anyone coming from here.” 

Sasuke gave the view a cursory sweep with his Sharingan. He saw nothing, but the openness of the area made him uncomfortable: he felt like he was being watched. “Let’s eat while we’re walking,” he said, “We haven’t gotten as far as I would like.” 

Naruto watched him carefully, a faint frown marring his features. “It really isn’t a big deal, you know. We could just—” 

“I know,” Sasuke cut him off. “I just… Let’s keep moving.” 

Naruto kept staring at him for a moment, then got up slowly. “Yeah, that’s fine,” he said, hesitating slightly. “Here.” 

He tossed a container of food at Sasuke, who caught it and then started walking without another word. 

As he ate, he couldn’t prevent his thoughts from dwelling on the one who walked by his side. Yesterday, when Naruto had asked to accompany him, it had felt like a split-second decision: yes or no. And, unexpected as the request had been, Sasuke hadn’t been able to come up with any reason to refuse. Now, however, he was beginning to think about the deeper consequences of his decision. The slightly awkward interactions with his companion so far were reinforcing themselves in his mind, and he wondered if they’d be able to establish some sort of rhythm. After all, it had been many years since they had traveled together. Who was to say what would happen this time around? 

***

As the sun began to set, Sasuke began to think about lodging. He knew the hills they currently found themselves in quite well; to his knowledge, they should be able to find shelter here quite easily. 

However Naruto, it seemed, had different ideas once again. Just as Sasuke was going to bring up his ideas of where to stay for the night, he halted in the middle of the road and pointed forward. 

“Do you see that? There’s a village up ahead. That’s good timing!” 

Sasuke surveyed him out of the corner of his eye. “Why do you say that?” 

Naruto looked astonished. “Wow, Sasuke. I knew you were a hardass, but seriously? You can’t tell me you’re not ready to crash after a full day of traveling.” 

Sasuke turned slowly to face him. “I…” he began with his lip slightly curled, “Am ready to ‘crash,’ but not _there._ ” 

Naruto looked genuinely confused. “What are you talking about? It’s just some village in the middle of nowhere.” 

Sasuke sighed. “I intend to avoid villages, towns, and cities whenever I can.” 

“What? Why?” Naruto asked.

“Because…” Sasuke felt somewhat lost. How could Naruto be so clueless? _Maybe having him come along was a mistake, after all. Maybe it was stupid to think we could travel together, just because_ _—_

He cut off his own train of thought, and focused on the issue at hand. “Because I want to avoid being recognized, Naruto. Or didn’t you consider the fact that I am a convicted criminal before coming on this journey with me?” 

The last part sounded harsher than it had in his head, but he didn’t take the words back. He just watched Naruto intensely, searching for any indication of his companion’s true feelings. 

Naruto had been staring at the ground before, but he looked up sharply in response to this statement. “Is _that_ what this is all about?” Naruto asked. “Why you’ve been so paranoid all day?” 

Sasuke stared for a moment, then ended up nodding. 

Naruto threw up his hands. “Sasuke, seriously? I knew you were trying to lie low, which is fine, but this is too much. You’re going to deny us the comfort of an inn over this?” He paused. “It’s not like you can’t defend yourself, we both know that damn well. So why are you so suspicious and uptight all of the sudden?” 

A chill ran down Sasuke’s spine at the mention of their past duels, followed by a feeling of anger. “I just got out of _prison,_ idiot,” Sasuke snapped. “This isn’t about my _combat ability._ I was only barely cleared of my charges, and I’m still technically on probation. So drop it, now.”

He faced Naruto, breathing heavily all of the sudden. Naruto was staring back, looking equal parts confused and outraged. “What the hell are you talking about?” he shook his head. “Nevermind. That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“Oh, really?” Sasuke countered. “Because a war hero and an international terrorist staying together in a small village where everyone knows each other is such a good idea.” 

Naruto bristled. “If you’re just going to call me _stupid_ ” 

Sasuke coolly interrupted him. “As impossible as it might seem to someone with your lack of subtlety, I’m trying to walk around without everyone recognizing me. So I’d really appreciate it if you stopped questioning me, and tried not to drag us into stupid situations. Or else—” 

“Or else what?” Naruto countered, rounding on him. 

Sasuke stared him down. “This is my journey, not yours. If you can’t accept that, you can always go back to Konoha.” 

Naruto’s eyes flashed with something Sasuke didn’t understand. “I’m _not_ doing that. I know this whole thing was your idea, but I’m here now too, and I’m your companion. I’m willing to put up with a lot of your requests… Hell, I don’t even know what exactly we’re doing or where we’re going, and I respect you enough not to ask! But I won’t accept you just doing whatever you want and expecting me to say nothing.” His voice diminished in volume suddenly. “You understand, right? You know who I am. You know I don’t just sit back and listen. You must have understood that before letting me come with you, huh, Sasuke?” 

Sasuke’s lungs, filled with insult and retort, deflated suddenly. Naruto seemed serious, as if he was referring to something larger than their current dispute somehow. And even though Sasuke did not completely understand, he found himself not wanting to upset that balance. 

And so he was silent, facing Naruto with perhaps less anger, but far more confusion than before. 

Across from him, Naruto seemed to be at an equal loss for words. Eventually, he shrugged and looked away. “We’ll do it your way for tonight,” he yielded. “But we’ll have to talk about this later.” 

His words caused something inside Sasuke to twist unpleasantly. _There’s a lot we need to talk about, isn’t there, Naruto?_

But if Naruto wouldn’t bring it up, then neither would he. Ideally, the two of them would travel as companions, with an amicable distance between them. That was all he was ready to confront right now, after all. 

Sasuke finally began to move again. However, the instant his foot hit the ground, a threatening growl of thunder sounded from overhead. Instinctively, he looked up. 

“Over there!” Naruto gasped, and Sasuke looked over at what had to be one of the biggest thunderheads he had ever seen, rolling in straight towards their side of the hills. 

_Damn,_ he thought, and then looked over at his companion, who was smiling at him ruefully. 

“What do you think now?” Naruto asked quietly. “Still worth avoiding society to get caught under that?” 

Sasuke sighed, and looked back at the storm cloud. It looked more menacing with each passing moment, and even the lightning in his blood crackled, as if kneeling in respect before this great storm. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’,” Naruto said from behind him. “We’re staying in that village. You can’t argue yourself out of this one, sorry.” 

“You’re right,” Sasuke muttered reluctantly, but Naruto only smiled. 

“Thanks,” he said softly, leaving Sasuke blinking in surprise before he started down the path behind his companion. 

They reached the village after a mere five-minute walk: a hand-painted sign designated it Stony Crag village. It really was small: Sasuke counted fifteen houses, which were simple but had light streaming from all the windows as proof of the inhabitants’ life of simple comfort. There was also a town hall, general store and, blessedly, an inn. Naruto made a small noise of joy when he saw it, and took the lead as they approached it. Sasuke was silently grateful for this: it almost seemed like Naruto had taken his hesitation into account and was now volunteering to do most of the interacting with the locals. 

When they entered the inn and were given a room, some of Sasuke’s prior apprehension began to melt away, replaced only by exhaustion. And as he watched Naruto talk to the innkeeper, he couldn’t help the slight feeling of gratitude which began to swell within him. 

_Despite his big mouth, he’s not always stupid,_ Sasuke thought, as the door to their hotel room closed behind them. With that, he pulled off his boots and cloak as the rain began to fall outside. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! There's some tension between Naruto and Sasuke, isn't there? Let me know what you think here or on twitter @sasugayuchlha :)


	3. Your Name and Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke has a realization about how the world sees him and can't help but wonder whether Naruto should be associated with this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To me, this chapter has a little bit of a Dungeons & Dragons/fantasy RPG vibe. I hope you enjoy it :)

The two shinobi were silent as they unpacked their minimal belongings and prepared to stay the night. Sasuke still felt a little apprehensive at the thought of staying at the inn, but his reluctance eased as the storm moved in and rain began to ferociously lash at the windows. 

“Aren’t you glad we have a roof over our heads?” Naruto smiled at him. Evidently, he was willing to put their previous disagreement behind him. 

Sasuke was much too tired to object to that, so he accepted Naruto’s silent peace offering and nodded — “ _ Hm”  _ _ — _ while making sure that all three of the bolts on the door were locked, then moving towards the nearest window.

“Here, Sasuke, let me do it,” Naruto offered. He moved in close and pushed Sasuke’s hand away with his own. Sasuke stepped back, giving him space. 

Naruto had already changed into his sleeping clothes, Sasuke noted, and his bare arms were radiating heat. Sasuke watched his friend work on the window’s various latches, close the blinds, then the curtains, and then move to the next window to complete the process. He felt his residual nerves ebbing away as Naruto made sure their room was safe. 

When Naruto had finished, he headed into the tiny bathroom to wash up. Sasuke bent down, rummaging in his pack to find his sleeping clothes. He stripped off his shirt and dropped it on the floor. 

“We’ll leave early tomorrow,” Naruto called from behind the door, as if he knew what Sasuke was thinking. 

A thunderclap suddenly sounded overhead, loud even inside. 

“Shit,” Naruto cursed. “I hope the roads aren’t all muddy tomorrow.” 

Sasuke was about to reply when there was a knock on their door. He froze, hand reaching for his katana before he even registered what he was doing. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll get it!” Naruto announced cheerfully, running out of the bathroom with his toothbrush in his mouth. He abruptly froze when he caught sight of Sasuke, who was still shirtless. “Oh, uh…” 

Sasuke straightened up. He shot Naruto a cool look from over his shoulder. “The door, usuratonkachi,” he muttered.

“Oh! Yeah… Right,” Naruto replied. He took extra care to look away as he padded around the corner to the door. Sasuke rolled his eyes.  _ It’s not as if we haven’t shared a room before,  _ he caught himself thinking before the obvious hit him. _Although it has been_ _ over six years _ . 

“Hi! How can I help you,” Sasuke heard Naruto ask brightly. Then he froze at the note of panic he heard from whoever was at their door. 

“Sir, you have to get out!” It was a female voice. “The storm has destroyed our dam, and the village is going to flood!”    


“Wait, the entire village?” Naruto asked. 

“Yes, so please, leave now!” the girl rushed off again, evidently going to wake up the other guests. 

Naruto cast a grim look behind him, nodding when he met Sasuke’s eyes.  _ Let’s go,  _ he was saying. Sasuke grabbed his katana in reply, and just like that the two of them were moving out into the storm. 

The wind and rain were terrible— beating at Sasuke’s face and filling the air with whirling chaos which confused even his doujutsu. At first, he could barely hear anything over the roar of the wind, but then lightning cracked the sky in half and was followed almost immediately by a thunderclap which left Sasuke’s ears ringing. It was all he could do to keep in sight of Naruto’s cloak and head of golden hair, which was rapidly darkening in the rain. 

It wasn’t hard to see where the flood was: Sasuke could see it down the hill from the village, where the river would usually flow. In contrast to everything else inside the storm, the water was eerily calm. It reflected the village’s twinkling lights, the hospitality beaming from every pane of glass. The water might be mistaken for the surface of a still lake, providing the village with food and passage. However, as Sasuke looked closer, he realized just how false this assumption was. 

The water had swallowed trees and stones, their half-submerged shapes looming out from the surface like headstones in a graveyard. And it was rising; even as Sasuke watched, he saw a deep surge of black water rise up and devour a thick branch protruding from one of the sunken trees. 

As he looked further down into the valley, Sasuke could see the dam the villagers had spoken of. It was an intricate wall following the river’s usual course, a patchwork of stone and clay. Now, however, a large hole had been blown into it and water was gushing out in dark surges, drowning all it could. 

Naruto turned to look at him, face lit up momentarily by another bolt of lighting. Sasuke saw the determination in his eyes.  _ He cares about this village, this place he’s never been to,  _ Sasuke realized with a flash of something he couldn’t identify. 

“ _ Sasuke,”  _ Naruto was yelling; even he, with his loud voice, was struggling to be heard over the storm. Sasuke watched his mouth move and his eyes ask something, and he had absolutely no idea what Naruto had just said, but he knew what Naruto needed regardless. He turned away as his companion took a flying leap, landing on the surface of the water and darting across until he reached the crumbling dam. 

Sasuke dropped into his stance, drew chakra into his one remaining arm and sank his fist into the trunk of a thick tree. 

It exploded into chunks, and Sasuke sent them flying to where Naruto was waiting on the other side of the dark abyss between them. Naruto straightened and released his power, heating up until he was glowing brighter than the reflections of every light in the village combined, until he made the abyss not seem so dark anymore. He drew back, raising his own single arm up over his head, and took control of the wood fragments Sasuke had sent him. 

Sasuke took the time to dart across the water himself, body held low and Sharingan glowing defiantly in the darkness, trained towards Naruto as if the shinobi’s glowing body were a guiding beacon. He took his place across from Naruto, on the other side of the stone dam, the rushing water between them reminding him of another place and time. 

But they were not here to widen the cleft between them this time; they were not here to destroy. They were here to repair and rebuild, and so they drew the fragments of wood together, plugging the hole in the dam. 

They were almost done when the lightning struck. 

It smote from between towering clouds, traveling down through the open air. Pure energy; a force of nature. 

And struck a treetop not ten meters from where Sasuke was standing. 

It rained debris around him, flaming splinters of wood as sharp as kunai. His muscles tensed to spring away and bring him out of danger, but he felt Naruto’s chakra out there, as sharp as the storm, and knew he had to stay in position. He concentrated more power, sending it forth to meet Naruto’s. 

A pain shot down his arm; one of the flaming splinters had embedded itself in his shoulder. He ignored the burning and electricity. Instead of drawing his chakra within to shield himself, he reached out further into the storm, finding Naruto and reading his intentions. His friend’s chakra was warm, self-assured and confident; it felt like a balm to his stinging shoulder, and there was a moment in which Sasuke wondered if this fire could soothe the one which burned inside his very own soul—

Lighting struck again, this time causing a large rock to crack and parts to break off. Sasuke returned to the present, and with some effort, he and Naruto finally managed to seal the damn. 

There was still water on the wrong side of the dam, but it was no longer climbing. It was no longer a creeping darkness, swallowing trees and rocks older than itself. It was no longer a threat, and with time it would sink into the earth and be forgotten.

And as if on cue, there was a break in the clouds and the storm began to dissipate. It was still raining, but it was a cleansing rain rather than a violent one. 

Sasuke breathed a sigh of relief; so did Naruto, so did the people, so did the very earth on which the village was built. 

He shared a brief look with Naruto, nodded when the other man eyed his wound—  _ it’s nothing—  _ and then they trudged back through the water and up the hill. 

Inside the village, a bedraggled but joyous crowd had gathered.

“Hey!” cried a voice. “Isn’t that Uzumaki Naruto, the famous shinobi of Konoha?”    


A hush fell, the people’s awe stronger than their exhaustion, and Sasuke watched as every pair of eyes suddenly went straight to his friend’s face. 

“It  _ is  _ him!” someone else said. Naruto scratched his head, not sure where to look. 

“Yeah… That’s me!” he said, sounding as if he wished it weren’t true. But no one heeded his lack of enthusiasm and in a matter of seconds, the entire village had crowded around him. 

“Uzumaki-san,” the hotel owner was saying reproachfully. “You should have told me your name! I would have offered you the suite. Only the best for the savior of the Land of Fire, after all. We owe you a great debt.” 

Naruto was trying to wave everyone off, giving polite nods and bows to everyone who praised him. 

“It’s alright, really, thank you… I really should go. We’re leaving early in the morning, and…”

“Who’s we?” asked a woman, sharp curiosity in her voice. The crowd suddenly fell silent. Sasuke felt his blood run cold as Naruto, and then everyone else slowly turned their heads to look at him. 

“That’s right, you didn’t introduce yourself when Naruto checked you both into my inn. May we know your name? Any friend of Uzumaki-san’s is a friend of our village.” 

Sasuke was silent. His eyes flickered to Naruto’s, silently asking his friend for help. But as the silence continued, Sasuke felt the curiosity of the village morph into suspicion. 

“Well, who are you?” a man demanded roughly. 

“Just as you said,” Sasuke replied coolly. “A friend of Naruto’s, that is all.” 

“Yeah!” Naruto exclaimed, suddenly sounding far too loud. “He’s one of my friends from Konoha.” 

“Wait… I know your face…” it was the same man from before. “Your dark hair… You’re of Konoha’s Uchiha clan, aren’t you?” 

The crowd, so boisterous only a few minutes before, was suddenly teeming with suspicious whispers and muttering. 

“He looks just like the other one, from two years ago,” came a voice, “The one traveling with the shark-man.” 

“He  _ does,”  _ came a gasp in reply. 

“There’s only one Uchiha left… and I heard he’s a traitor.” The man cast a dark look straight at Sasuke. 

“Uchiha… Sasuke…” the innkeeper muttered. “Oh Gods.” The blood drained from his face. “You are not welcome here.” He turned back towards Naruto. “I’m sorry, Uzumaki-san. We cannot harbor you here either, as long as you are traveling with…  _ Him.”  _

Naruto looked outraged. “Hey, old man! I don’t know if you missed it, but Sasuke just risked his life  to save your village.” 

When the innkeeper failed to respond, Naruto turned towards the rest of the villagers. “Some of you must have seen him. He didn’t hesitate to protect you! How can you drive him out of your village now?”    


“He’s a  _ traitor,”  _ someone spat. 

“And a killer, too.” 

“The Uchiha… They’re bad luck, you know.” 

“I heard they possess the Cursed Blood! Maybe he’s even the one who  _ brought  _ the storm in the first place…”

“Get out! Get out of our village, now!” 

Naruto’s gaze hardened, but Sasuke shook his head. “Let’s go,” he said. There was a bitter taste in his mouth, but he turned and strode away without glancing back at the villagers. He sensed Naruto follow him a second later, appearing obedient but radiating anger and frustration.

“Calm down,” Sasuke hissed as they moved away from town, the villager’s eyes still boring into their backs. 

“Calm down? Sasuke, you should be pissed too! Those ungrateful  _ assholes,”  _ Naruto seethed beside him. 

Sasuke was silent until they had crested a hill and were out of sight of the village. “They’re right, you know,” he finally said. 

Naruto stopped mid-stride, so Sasuke did too. He wasn’t too surprised at the anger in his companion’s eyes — the same which had flashed across his expression the previous evening. 

“What the  _ hell  _ are you talking about, bastard,” Naruto growled. “You saved that village, and they’re accusing you of trying to destroy it!” 

Sasuke sighed, feeling his patience beginning to ebb away. “You know damn well what, Naruto! This is why I told you not to go to the village in the first place. I knew something like this would happen.” 

“But you  _ helped  _ them…” 

“Look, Naruto… That isn’t really the point.” 

“I’m sorry. You risked yourself saving all of their asses, right in front of their eyes, but that’s not the point somehow? And I thought I was the stupid one.” 

“You are,” Sasuke snapped. “People don’t care about one single action. They care about reputation, and my reputation just so happens to be that of a murderer, a terrorist, and a traitor.” He spat the last word with venom. 

Naruto looked like he wanted to bash Sasuke's head into the rock face behind him. “A  _ traitor?  _ I mean, what did you even betray? Konoha betrayed you first, it doesn’t make any fucking sense to call you a traitor.” 

Sasuke felt an odd feeling bubble up in his stomach. He spoke softly. “I betrayed you.” 

Naruto looked at him suddenly with luminous eyes. He didn’t say anything. 

Sasuke shrugged. “We should find somewhere to sleep. I’ll leave in the morning.” 

“Wait a minute,” Naruto’s voice was sharp again, “Leave?” 

Sasuke’s words were oddly gentle. “I think it’s obvious by now that you shouldn’t have come with me. This is only one of the reasons why.” 

“I really want to punch you right now,” Naruto said.

Sasuke stared. 

“I’m serious. All I want to do right now is punch you in the teeth and hopefully keep you from ever saying anything so stupid ever again.” 

“You’re the only one saying anything  _ stupid  _ here.” 

Naruto rounded on him, sizing him up. “Say that again.” 

Sasuke exploded. “You’re being a complete idiot, you know that? I tell you not to go to the village, you don’t even consider listening to me. We get kicked out, your reputation is permanently stained there because of me, and then you have the nerve to tell me that I’m being stupid for understanding why?” he paused, taking in a short, angry breath. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I know how this works. I have traveled on my own before, with even more unsavory rumors following me than there are now. You were so willing to come with me without a second thought, but it’s obvious that you never considered the consequences. Once again, you don’t understand. You can’t.” 

Naruto barked a disbelieving laugh. “I can’t understand, huh?” 

Sasuke huffed and looked away. “No, you can’t.” 

“Sasuke.” Naruto’s voice was calm on the surface, but anger was boiling just below. “I don’t know if you had forgotten about this, but we are connected. So you can’t just shut me down every time by telling me I don’t understand. Maybe I didn’t when we were kids, but we have changed a lot since then. You said it yourself, didn’t you?” 

He stared intently, as if willing Sasuke to understand something. Finally, he sighed. “I’m not stupid. I can feel you.” 

Sasuke bristled.  _ If you really knew my heart, you wouldn’t be standing here now.  _ “A connection isn’t the same as knowing the facts.” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“It doesn’t matter how much you claim to know me, or to understand. You don’t know what it’s like to live as… as a villain.” 

Something stirred in Naruto’s eyes, blood-red and ancient. For a moment, Sasuke thought he would attack. But then the Jinchūriki closed his eyes, inhaled, and when he next met Sasuke’s eyes all hint of a threat was gone. “Sasuke…” he murmured. 

Sasuke stood his ground. 

Then Naruto began to laugh. “You know... “ he said, a rueful look in his eyes. “We’re just like that storm from earlier.” 

_ Sometimes it’s best to wait for him to explain himself.  _

Naruto gestured, first to himself and then to Sasuke. “Wind and electricity, you know? We work together, there is no storm without both of us. But we’re also constantly trying to show each other up. There’s never any peace between us.”

_ And we destroy everything we come into contact with.  _

There was a distant look in Naruto’s eyes, the one he wore so often when he was rambling and lost in memory. “I remember Yamato-taichou telling me about my chakra nature. He was telling me that it would beat your Fire. But I wasn’t thinking about that at all. All I could think about was the way that my Wind would strengthen your Lightning.” 

Sasuke didn’t know what to say. 

“Sasuke…” Naruto’s eyes had returned to his. “Why are you still so convinced that I don’t understand you? If there are things I still don’t know, just tell me.” 

_ Never.  _ “I will,” Sasuke replied stiffly. “For now, can we please find somewhere to rest? The sun will rise in less than four hours.” 

Naruto watched him for a second more, something in his eyes…  _ disappointment?  _ Sasuke couldn’t tell. “Of course,” he agreed quietly. 

They soon found a place to sleep, a bed of grass beneath a small rocky overhang, shielded from the wind by a copse of small trees. It was cramped and the grass was still wet, but Sasuke didn’t care. And neither, apparently, did Naruto, judging by the speed with which he put down his bedroll.

“We’ll talk more about this in the morning, alright?” He asked, half-turning to watch Sasuke from where he lay. 

“Hm,” Sasuke replied. 

“Ok. Goodnight, Sas’ke,” Naruto yawned. And within minutes, he was fast asleep. 

Sasuke sat crouched on the ground for a while, watching his companion. Eventually he stood, movements stealthy and full of intent. He silently stole over to the grove, took a small fallen log and laid it inside his bedroll. Then he edged away from the campsite, sweeping one last look across the scene. Naruto didn’t stir the entire time. Asleep, not even he could stop Sasuke from walking away. 

And so Sasuke did, vanishing into the night without looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, see you next week <3 
> 
> come threaten me on twitter @sasugayuchlha if you feel like it


	4. Familiar Places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke confront each other at a familiar place, with a very different outcome. 
> 
> I'm going to include a trigger warning for this chapter: see notes at the end for more details + which parts to skip if you're worried.

~~~~Sasuke roamed the hills as the sun began to crest the horizon, bringing with it a grey dawn and the sound of birds who were singing a song of mourning as they began to rebuild their homes after the storm of the previous night. He left all roads and paths behind, making sure to leave no trail for Naruto to follow. Assuming his friend wouldn’t wake for a while, he took extra time to hide his tracks. ~~~~

He headed vaguely north in this fashion, weaving between briar patches, tall stones, and dense tree groves. The border with the Sound couldn’t be far, he knew. Although he had never been to the village of the previous night, he was familiar with a larger town nearby which he knew to be near the northern border of the Land of Fire. ~~~~

As he walked, he tried not to think too hard about the man he had left behind. Naruto, sleeping alone in the hills, oblivious as Sasuke walked away from him. ~~~~

Would he be alright? ~~~~

 _Of course,_ Sasuke scoffed, _he’s the most powerful nin in the Village._ ~~~~

What if he was attacked during the night? ~~~~

 _Even he’s not dim-witted enough to be ambushed._ ~~~~

How would he react once he found out Sasuke had left? ~~~~

He hesitated. _That doesn’t matter. It’s for the best._ ~~~~

Are you sure? ~~~~

Sasuke shook his head to clear it. ~~~~

Still, the question continued to echo in his head as he walked, and he found himself searching to justify his answer. ~~~~

 _Naruto can’t stay with me,_ he knew. _He’s on this mission to see more of the world in order to become a better Hokage. If his reputation is ruined because of me, if there are any more incidents like last night, that would defeat the purpose of his mission. I shouldn’t have let him come with me in the first place._ ~~~~

He nodded to himself, satisfied. Surely this was the only answer. ~~~~

 _Besides,_ the defensive voice in his head continued, _Naruto doesn’t need to see any of what you’re going to do on this journey. He doesn’t need to see you get your hands dirty, to apologize, to atone. He’s not going to find out about your darkest actions because of the apologies you give for them._ ~~~~

Sasuke sighed. He supposed his self-preservation would always have something to do with it, after all. ~~~~

 _Also,_ the voice piped up again. Sasuke was beginning to get tired of it. _You’re still hiding things from him. You don’t want him to find out about—_ ~~~~

_That’s enough,_ Sasuke cut himself off. ~~~~

He continued walking, focusing deeply on the sights and sounds surrounding him in order to prevent that inner voice from returning. The smell of rain was still fresh in the wind, and there were branches scattered all over the ground, some quite large, all torn off by yesterday’s storm. Sasuke even saw some trees with dark, charred marks scarring down their trunks — wounds inflicted by lightning strikes. Sasuke thought of his own Chakra nature, of his Kirin. _How many wounds like this have I caused? Have I caused more than the storm? Have I inflicted more grief than life itself?_ ~~~~

He toiled up a hill, everything beneath his feet muddy and treacherous. He could feel his boots becoming caked in dirt as he approached the crest of the hill. Ahead he could hear a river, or perhaps a waterfall— _Somewhere to wash my boots?_ he thought faintly, but his entire train of thought was forgotten as he reached the summit and looked out on the view spread before him. ~~~~

There _was_ a waterfall— swollen and flowing fast, roaring straight over a precipice and churning into the river below. But it wasn’t the waterfall itself that evoked the rising sense of dread heavy in Sasuke’s stomach. ~~~~

They were severely damaged, they were half-hidden behind the stormy curtain of water careening forcefully from the cliffside. But they were ancient, they were powerful, and above all: they were familiar. ~~~~

The statues of Uchiha Madara and Hashirama Senju, facing each other across the water, inexorable even in ruin and even through the storm. ~~~~

Sasuke was standing at the edge of the Final Valley, and some part of his world was ending all over again. ~~~~

 _I should have realized where I was,_ he realized dimly, the only rational thought amongst the horror and awe he felt as a rising tide of memory overtook him, more powerful than even that ancient waterfall battering the statues of two legendary shinobi. ~~~~

_I don’t want to be here,_ he thought, _I don’t want to remember what I did here._ ~~~~

But he stood rooted to the spot, looking outward motionlessly as the dim sun was shielded by more dark clouds and the wind began to pick up. Something heavy was weighing him down, and he felt as though he might never be able to move again. ~~~~

He wasn’t sure how long he had been standing there, but at some point he became aware of a crashing sound coming from somewhere behind him. He tried to look over his shoulder, or even reach for his katana, but he remained unmoving as ever, frozen in place just like the statues he was faced by. ~~~~

“ _Sasuke!”_ he heard a ragged cry come from behind him. It was Naruto. _Of course it’s Naruto. It’s always Naruto when you’re here. He has never needed a trail to find you._ ~~~~

Then Naruto was standing to his left, panting harshly enough to be heard over the sounds of wind and rushing water. He froze there, much as Sasuke had. ~~~~

“The Final Valley…" he breathed. ~~~~

They stood there wordlessly, gazing into the broken valley below. The swollen February river flowed quick and strong, powerless against the object laying in the center— the stone hands of Madara and Hashirama, portraying unison in their destruction. ~~~~

Naruto broke the silence eventually, but he kept his voice low. “It’s almost weird to be here and not fight each other. I’m almost expecting you to attack me.” His voice was careful, tentative, creeping around the slumbering beast of truth that lay between them. “Neither of us have been here without destroying something. It’s almost like a training field, isn’t it? You think of it as a place to fight, and you want to start as soon as you get there.” ~~~~

Sasuke moved neither his body nor his eyes as Naruto spoke, as still as the rocks below them. ~~~~

“I should have known you’d be here. You left… But when you leave, we always meet again at this place.” ~~~~

Sasuke stiffened. _He’s right._ ~~~~

“I didn’t know it was here, I just stumbled across it. But I think part of me knew you’d be here.” ~~~~

“You used to come here too, didn’t you?” Sasuke asked suddenly. ~~~~

He didn’t have to look at Naruto to know that he was confused. “What do you mean?” ~~~~

“Because I did,” Sasuke confessed, his voice brusque. He wasn’t even sure why he was telling Naruto this. ~~~~

His companion didn't respond, just waited for Sasuke to continue. _He’s always waiting for you. Waiting for you to catch up, to return, to see reason._ “I… When I was traveling, I used to come here, whenever I was passing through the area. I came here, and I…” he inhaled slowly, feeling a weight settle in his lungs. “I thought about…” ~~~~

“Our fight,” Naruto guessed. “Our first one.” ~~~~

“Yes,” Sasuke breathed. ~~~~

“I thought I was going to die here,” Naruto said presently. ~~~~

 _He’s not only talking about our first_ _battle_ , Sasuke knew. _He’s talking about our last. He’s talking about the fate that he believed would be his, dying at my hands._ ~~~~

“So did I,” he replied, and he had never felt so heavy. His limbs would have been easier to lift if he were made of stone, like the great statues flanking the waterfall below. ~~~~

“Sasuke…” There was something small and odd in Naruto’s voice. “You know I never could have killed you, right?”

“But I could have.” ~~~~

As Sasuke spoke these words, he finally turned to face Naruto. When he saw Naruto's expression, the heaviness inside Sasuke lurched and began to pump into his veins like lead, weighing down every one of his fingertips, even the five he no longer had. ~~~~

Naruto looked dirty and ragged. There was dust in his hair, and his face was unwashed. His lips were cracked and his cloak was muddy. The rain had streaked his face, and his eyes were red… _and that’s not just rain on his cheeks._ ~~~~

“Which one of us are you talking about?” Naruto asked quietly. Sasuke could have sworn his voice cracked, as if in grief. “Who could you have killed?” ~~~~

Every inhale Sasuke took felt like a knife running up his windpipe. “Probably both of us.”

And there, on the edge of the Valley of the End, a river roaring below and clouds gathering above, a dead silence fell between them. Sasuke wasn’t sure how much longer he could do this, standing in this place and breathing, _living,_ with both Naruto and himself, two men he had once thought he would kill. ~~~~

It stretched on for minutes, widening even as they stood, the distance between them greater than this valley here or any other valley besides. _This is a chasm which neither of us will be able to bridge,_ thought Sasuke numbly. _Coming here was a mistake._ ~~~~

“I think…” Naruto’s breath hitched in his throat. He was standing close enough to heat Sasuke’s chin. “I think it’s a good thing that we came here.” ~~~~

He was looking at Sasuke with intensity, with eyes that hoped to understand, eyes burning with the will to bridge that very same gap Sasuke knew was impossible to get across, even if he himself were the one who had to prevent it from closing, chipping away at the connection between him and Naruto until— ~~~~

“Sasuke…” Naruto was quiet again. Sasuke followed the tear tracks down his face, looked a little longer at the dirt in his hair. “I think you’re trying to be alone again.” ~~~~

A chill ran up Sasuke’s spine. _Of course I am, you idiot,_ he wanted to yell, _I never asked for you to come with me, I don’t know what we’re doing, this won’t end well._ ~~~~

“I know that’s why you didn’t want me to come along,” Naruto was continuing, _even despite the gap between us this chakra connection is too damn strong, fuck, he’s reading me,_ “Even after losing the fight we had here, you refuse to let yourself gain anything.” ~~~~

“What do I have to gain,” Sasuke asked stiffly. ~~~~

“A friend.” ~~~~

 _There it is again._ Naruto always used that word, and after so many years Sasuke still wasn’t sure what it meant. He wasn’t even sure he wanted to know. He turned away resolutely, facing away from Naruto. ~~~~

“We have to talk about this sometime, you know,” Naruto’s voice came floating quietly from behind him.

_Why are you so calm? I want you to shout at me, please, just fight me or something. This valley is the only place we ever find answers, so why won't you give them to me?_ ~~~~

Sasuke began to walk away. ~~~~

“I can wait.” ~~~~

_I know you can wait, Naruto. Although I have never come close to understanding why._

~~  
  
~~

*** 

~~  
  
~~

A heavy silence weighed down upon them for the remainder of the day. Sasuke said little, offering little more than grunts and nods when prompted to answer one of Naruto’s questions. Naruto himself tried to fill the emptiness with various light-hearted anecdotes and stories similar to those he had been telling on previous days, but to little avail; eventually, even he trailed off and let the stillness of their surroundings creep in and take over. ~~~~

That morning, Sasuke had tried not to think about Naruto as he walked. However, after the events at the Valley earlier and now with Naruto beside him, silent but unquestionably there, Sasuke found it impossible not to. Questions were spinning around in his head, drawing him completely within himself so that he would have found it hard to speak even if he had wanted to. ~~~~

He dared to shoot a look sideways over at Naruto; not that he needed to. He had found, to his slight apprehension, that he rarely had to look at Naruto’s face to know what expression he would find there. A sign of the bond between them, he knew it. It was this great big _thing_ between them, drawing them closer together but also rendering Sasuke more suspicious of Naruto than of anyone else he knew. A topic this big was not easily broached and the implications of it ran so deep and so close to his— to _both_ of their hearts, that Sasuke was afraid thinking about it could drive him insane. ~~~~

_Is that why you’re here?_ he wondered silently. _Is it the bond?_ ~~~~

He remembered the conclusion he had drawn the night Naruto decided to accompany him. _He’s with me to see the world as part of his Hokage training._ He had to be firm with himself. _That’s the only reason that matters._ ~~~~

Beside him, Naruto shifted his weight as he continued to walk. He was radiating something alert, something almost anxious. ~~~~

A horrible thought occurred to Sasuke, one he hadn’t before let past his subconscious. _What if training is not the only reason he is here? This watchfulness coming from him. What could he possibly be worried about? Except… for me._ ~~~~

Something twisted deep in his gut, dark and shameful. _Of course. He’s worried I might go all crazy again. What reason does he, or the Village, have to trust me? He’s here to make sure I won’t go rogue again._ ~~~~

Sasuke scoffed at himself. _What would my family say? The last of the Uchiha and here I am, being sent on a redemption journey with Konoha’s finest as a warden, making sure I don’t lose control and start slaughtering children or something. Pathetic._ ~~~~

He took a deep breath, trying to dissipate the heaviness building in his lungs. If he could feel every one of Naruto’s expressions and sense the weight of his chakra in every waking moment, he had to assume Naruto could do the same, strange as it was to consider. ~~~~

Once, he would have let himself feel and think freely, assuming Naruto had no idea what went on inside him. But he wouldn’t make that mistake again. Because the truth was that Naruto was terrifyingly, closely aware of what was inside his mind. ~~~~

 _I won’t let him in any deeper,_ Sasuke decided. _I can’t._ ~~~~

With this sobering thought, he continued walking by Naruto’s side. They headed north together, first skirting the Valley and then continuing on a weathered old path inside the Land of Sound. Sasuke guided them silently, half a pace ahead each time they approached an intersection or a fork in the road, and closely observed by Naruto, despite the thick silence between them. ~~~~

They continued in this way for several more hours, walking until the sun began to set at the horizon. By twilight, the chilled sun from behind the rainclouds earlier that day had shed its darkness and warmed the earth, drying the damp veil that had previously covered everything. Its warmth colored the sky orange and set the horizon on fire. Sasuke found himself watching it as he and Naruto silently set up camp. ~~~~

Naruto mumbled a “G’night,” as they laid down on bedrolls separated by more than just physical space. Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to reply. ~~~~

As he lay there, he couldn’t help but consider leaving again, albeit for different reasons than the previous night. Yesterday, his main concern had been Naruto’s reputation and wellbeing. And although this was still at the forefront of his mind, something much more shameful was taking over his desires: his _own_ wellbeing. After the arguments they had had during the last few days, as well as his newfound awareness of the tangible bond that existed between them, the tension was becoming unbearable. All of Sasuke’s hopes for a relationship of amicable distance had been dashed: _though,_ he supposed, _I never should have fooled myself into believing it could be that easy._ ~~~~

_It never has been between us._ ~~~~

With that thought, a wave of exhaustion drowned out his mind. Although he couldn’t quiet his worries completely, he soon drifted into sleep. ~~  
~~

***

Sasuke woke up suddenly in the middle of the night. He did not startle, nor was he disoriented; years of ninja training kicked in even before he opened his eyes. ~~~~

Immediately, he could tell what had woken him up. A strange sound from behind him— A high-pitched wheezing, almost as if someone were gasping for breath… ~~~~

 _Naruto._ ~~~~

Sasuke sat bolt upright, inexplicable chills running down his spine and arms as if he had been doused in icy water. Slowly, he turned his head over to where Naruto lay. ~~~~

His eyes met Naruto’s: they were staring up at him, but they were panicked and afraid and so unblinking that they seemed almost dead. ~~~~

But Naruto was not dead, because he was breathing… breathing, but only just. Every inhale was deep and forced and every exhale sounded like it was tearing his lungs, and Sasuke had spent enough time around enough fucked-up people to know what was going on. ~~~~

“Naruto,” he whispered, testing carefully to see what sort of effect his voice would have. As much as he knew about Naruto, he had never seen him like this. He didn’t know what Naruto needed. _I have to be careful._ ~~~~

The other boy’s blue eyes focused minutely. _That’s good,_ Sasuke thought dimly, but relief was quickly replaced by alarm when Naruto’s wide eyes glassed over completely and filled at an alarming rate until it looked like tears would spill all over his face the next time he blinked. ~~~~

_Shit,_ Sasuke thought, and he slowly stood up, intending to leave Naruto’s sight, at least for now. Evidently, his presence was doing his friend no favors. _Though that should hardly come as a surprise,_ he thought bitterly, before shaking his head. _This is no time for wallowing in self-hatred._ ~~~~

“Naruto, I’ll just— I’ll let you—” he motioned toward the edge of the clearing, unsure of how much Naruto was actually registering of what he was saying. Then he began to back away, only to freeze in place when a sound other than a wheeze finally left Naruto’s throat. ~~~~

“Sas—” he managed, but he was cut off by a guttural choking sound, one which had Sasuke wincing in horror and sympathy. _I have to do something._ ~~~~

Carefully, watchful for any change in Naruto’s breathing or expression, Sasuke moved closer to him. Naruto’s breathing didn’t seem to be improving, but his gaze remained fixated on Sasuke’s face as he moved and the tears in his eyes hadn’t actually fallen. ~~~~

Sasuke ended up perched beside Naruto’s bedroll, clearly in the other shinobi’s line of sight. For a moment he sat, with no idea what to do. _He needs to breathe,_ he realized, _he needs to breathe._ ~~~~

“Naruto,” he began, and something inside him lurched when those panicked blue eyes focused on him just a little more. They stared up at him from close to the ground, completely helpless and terrified: such a far cry from the confidence usually exuded by the Land of Fire’s strongest ninja. ~~~~

“Slow your breathing.” ~~~~

There was no change, and Sasuke mentally reprimanded himself. _As if telling him what to do is going to matter at this point._ But then he paused as a long-forgotten memory suddenly made itself to the surface of his mind. ~~~~

_He was young, maybe five or six. In the forest with Itachi, training with him. He had gotten hurt somehow, he didn’t remember what had happened. But it burned; there was a pain deep inside, threatening to consume him. He could feel his head spinning and see his vision blurring._ ~~~~

_“You have to breathe, Sasuke,” and there was Itachi’s voice, deep and dark but bearing a strange comfort that Sasuke had never known since his brother had left. “You have to breathe. Count the ravens.”_ ~~~~

_“The.. the ravens?” Sasuke managed to get out, his voice sounding young and thin with fear._ ~~~~

_“Yes. One raven;_ in. _Two ravens;_ out. _And keep going from there.”_ ~~~~

_Sasuke nodded. Did he ever disagree with Itachi, after all_

_“Do it with me, Sasuke.”_ ~~~~

The memory trailed off, and Sasuke was brought back to the present. With a sense of rising panic, he realized Naruto was still hyperventilating. Without thinking, he began to explain Itachi’s breathing game in hushed tones, hoping his voice was getting through to Naruto. ~~~~

“You breathe with me, understand? For every new raven. Start with one. One raven; in.” ~~~~

He breathed in deeply, sucking in the night air. Beside him, Naruto appeared to take in three gasps for air in that same amount of time. ~~~~

“Two ravens; out.” ~~~~

He felt as helpless as Naruto at that moment. ~~~~

“Three ravens; in.” ~~~~

Naruto continued to wheeze beside him. ~~~~

“Four ravens; out.” ~~~~

He kept going, steadfast. Just breathing. It’s not like there was anything else he could do, either. ~~~~

He got all the way up to sixteen ravens. Naruto wasn’t getting any better— or maybe Sasuke was just getting worse. _Is he even listening at all? Can he hear me?_ ~~~~

“Seventeen ravens; in.” ~~~~

“—N,” he suddenly heard. ~~~~

Sasuke's eyes darted over to Naruto, and his heart began to pound before he steeled himself. _I can’t afford to falter now._ ~~~~

“Eighteen ravens; out.” ~~~~

It was unmistakable; Naruto was mouthing the words together with Sasuke, sound occasionally escaping his withered throat. His breathing was still uneven, but it was slowing. He was trying to match Sasuke’s rhythm. ~~~~

“Nineteen ravens; in.” ~~~~

“Twenty ravens; out.” ~~~~

Naruto was averaging two breaths for every one Sasuke took. They were shaky and uncertain, but no longer whistling between his teeth. ~~~~

“Twenty-one ravens; in.” ~~~~

Naruto managed to hold his breath. ~~~~

“Twenty-two ravens; out.” ~~~~

The ninja’s breath came out, fragile like glass but slow and undeniably present. ~~~~

“Twenty-three ravens; in.” ~~~~

Naruto’s voice was gaining strength as well. ~~~~

“Twenty-four ravens; out.” ~~~~

Sasuke kept counting until thirty-six ravens, just to be sure. He kept a watchful eye on Naruto the whole time, waiting until his friend was able to return and hold his gaze. ~~~~

When he finally fell silent, he stayed unmoving, waiting for Naruto to say something. ~~~~

“Sasuke,” he heard presently. ~~~~

“Naruto.” Sasuke’s voice sounded odd to his own ears; concerned, quiet. ~~~~

“You’re here.” ~~~~

“I am.” ~~~~

“I’m… sorry for just now. I had a nightmare.” Naruto’s voice was quiet, filled with tension. ~~~~

“Have you had one like that before?” Sasuke asked the question before he could help it. ~~~~

Naruto laughed a little. It was a bad sound; too similar to his earlier gasps. Sasuke shivered. ~~~~

“I used to have them all the time. ‘Bout you.” ~~~~

“Me.” _Of course. He probably dreamed about you sticking a hand through his chest, or killing all of his friends._ ~~~~

“You always leave.” ~~~~

_What?_

“You left the Village. You left me after we fought in the Valley. You left me at Orochimaru’s lair, you left me in the forest, you left me under the bridge, you left me during the War. When I beat you, you… were going to end your life… and today…” Naruto’s voice reached a feverish pitch, and for a second Sasuke was afraid he would lapse into another panic attack. ~~~~

He didn’t understand. _I’m terrible for you, Naruto. I’m a villain in your life. Why don’t you want me to leave it?_ ~~~~

“That’s why I came with you, you know,” Naruto’s eyes were on him once again, large and luminous. “It’s selfish, I know. I should be in the Village doing my Hokage training. But I couldn’t watch you leave again. I had to come with you this time, just for once.” ~~~~

Questions spiraled to the forefront of Sasuke’s mind once again, like the ones he had been pondering earlier on the road. He wasn’t sure what to think: he was grasping for an explanation for Naruto’s behavior. _This has to be part of his training, mandatory travel to other lands he has to complete to become Hokage. Either that, or he’s here under more direct orders_ _—_ _my guard because the Village knows he’s the only one who can stop me. And at best, this is some stupid personal quest he’s gotten into his head. His masochistic need to play the hero coming into play again, trying to redeem me further._ ~~~~

“What are you thinking about, huh, Sasuke?” Naruto asked quietly. When Sasuke looked at him once again, Naruto’s eyes were sad. “I came on this journey hoping to be with you. But even when you aren’t walking away, you’re leaving me behind in your thoughts.” ~~~~

“I just… don’t understand,” Sasuke said slowly, hesitant to voice his suspicions. “I never did, from the beginning. You say you want to… But I don’t know why. I just think I should leave, I should be alone, I—” ~~~~

Sasuke froze when he heard a strange sound come from beside him. ~~~~

Naruto was crying. The tears in his eyes had finally gathered and fallen, and he was sniffling messily. “I don’t know how to make you understand,” he sniffed. “I— This morning, when you left, I didn’t know what to do. I left camp without making sure I hadn't forgotten anything, without bothering to hide the evidence of where we had stayed, or to make sure the fire was out. I just ran out in the rain. I couldn’t even see because I was crying. And then you were there, at the Final Valley, just _standing_ there and fuck, what was I supposed to think? You’ve said so little, and just leaving like that, I couldn’t be sure that you wouldn’t… that you wouldn’t… I can’t even say it, _fuck._ And then you wouldn’t even talk to me, you just stayed silent all day, and then I just had this dream and I woke up and I couldn’t breathe, and you were going to leave _again_ when you saw me like that, and you still don’t _understand!”_ ~~~~

Naruto was fully sobbing by this point, taking frustrated gasps of air between each gulp, tears and snot gleaming on his face underneath the starlight. Sasuke felt a stabbing pain in his chest, something he couldn’t explain. _I don’t want him to feel like this because of me._ ~~~~

But he didn’t know how to stop it, or how to make Naruto feel better. _This is what I do to people,_ he realized. _This is what I do to_ him. _I never should have let him come with me. I know damn well that he has a tendency to endanger himself, the idiot; this is his damn masochism all over again._ ~~~~

“Naruto,” he said and _oh,_ speaking was so much more painful than breathing, his throat was cracking under the strain, “You’re like this because of me. Why did you come here if you knew it would hurt so much? Do you really need to be the hero that badly?” ~~~~

Naruto raised his head, wet eyes shining under the pale moonlight. “I'm not being a hero,” he whispered. “I’m being selfish. I’m here because staying in Konoha without you would have been so much worse.” ~~~~

That thing in Sasuke’s throat shattered completely, and he knew he wouldn’t be able to say anything more. Naruto’s revelation scared him, made him feel trapped. Naruto was obviously suffering because of him but seemed convinced that it would be even worse if Sasuke were to leave. _What can I do? How do I cause him the least pain?_ ~~~~

In his heart, he already knew that no matter what he did would cause Naruto to suffer. _It’s all I know how to do._ ~~~~

He sat there in silence, watching as Naruto calmed himself down. His friend’s sobs slowly quieted, and his tears ceased to flow. Eventually, he shifted and blinked sleepily. Sasuke took that as a cue to move back to his own bedroll. ~~~~

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered as he stood up, hoping to ease even the smallest measure of Naruto’s painful anxiety. ~~~~

Naruto didn’t respond. ~~~~

Sasuke got into bed stiff with unease. The sight of Naruto’s tear-streaked face distressed him and stabs of guilt pierced his heart every time he closed his eyes. Eventually he fell into a fitful sleep, lying facing Naruto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for a description of a panic attack: if this bothers you, please stop reading at the line "Sasuke woke up suddenly in the middle of the night" and you can resume reading after "'I'm sorry for just now, I had a nightmare.'" 
> 
> This was a long chapter!! The cliffhanger from last time was resolved, Sasuke and Naruto are reunited, but the tension between them is heavier than ever. Hopefully something gives soon... 
> 
> As always, I hope you're enjoying the story (even if it's not looking great right now. remember, slow burn!!) and please let me know what you think in the comments or on twitter :)


	5. Some Things Never Change (Even When They Hurt)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke find that they can't avoid communicating forever.

Sasuke woke up early the next morning to the sensation of being crushed. There was a heavy silence in the air; caused not just by the cool dawn but also the tension between him and Naruto, which was thicker than ever before. It hung palpably over their encampment and refused to ease off as he stood up and prepared himself for another day of travel. 

Naruto had woken up earlier than him for a change. He sat silently at the edge of the clearing as Sasuke shuffled around, still blinking sleep from his eyes. His face, Sasuke noted, was drawn and pale — clear evidence of last night’s contention with himself.  _ He must have slept even worse than I did,  _ Sasuke thought, pursing his lips.

He got ready as quickly as he could and turned to inform Naruto once he was done. But his companion, it appeared, didn’t need to be told. He was already standing at the head of the trail they were currently following, ready to go. 

Sasuke hesitated for a moment but then merely shrugged, gave their encampment one last look, and started down the path himself. 

The silence dragged on as they walked. Sasuke found his attention torn at times: struggling to focus solely on the road ahead of them with Naruto lingering half a step behind at all times. After a few lapses, he steeled himself. He knew he had to pay attention, seeing as he wasn’t entirely sure where to go after their unexpected detour to the Valley of the End. His original plan had been to go straight to where the hideout was, but that plan had hinged on the previous route he had had in mind, which had been void since fleeing from Naruto’s side two nights ago. 

Now, he had to think of a secondary destination where he might be able to find out the hideout’s location. He recalled his knowledge of the area, places he had been on previous expeditions during his time with Orochimaru. 

But the silence, he found, wasn’t helping his memory. It seeped into his train of thought, muffling every image he tried to summon. Though no stranger to being quiet himself,  _ traveling with Naruto  _ and  _ silence  _ were two ideas that just didn’t go together in his mind. 

There had only been a few times in his life when he had traveled in silence for an extended period of time, he realized; his companions tended to be more talkative than he was. There was Team Taka, the freshest in his mind: although he had largely paid no attention and had even been annoyed by it at points, the interactions of Suigetsu, Karin, and Juugo had served as a backdrop for his travels which sharpened the memories of every journey he had taken during that time just a little in his mind’s eye. 

Of course, he could not think of Team Taka without remembering Team 7. The  _ old _ Team 7, not the bitter and jaded young adults he supposed they had become. Had they?  _ Well if even Naruto is silent, something must have changed somewhere,  _ he supposed. 

For a few short months, the dynamic of Team Taka had awakened memories of his old genin team. Although he hadn’t wanted to think about it at the time — _ and I still don’t—  _ something about the relentless bickering of Suigetsu and Karin, the withdrawn power of Juugo, as well as his own silence and reservation towards his teammates called up echoes of the past inside him, some perfectly preserved in spite of himself. His Sharingan eyes could be a blessing and a curse, after all. 

Even his time with Orochimaru, unpleasant as it was to think back on, had not been silent. The Sannin could talk for hours if he wished; usually about strange and grotesque experiments which hearing about probably hadn’t done thirteen-year-old Sasuke many favors. And when he had fallen silent, Kabuto had certainly always loved the sound of his own voice. 

This meant that the only significant periods of time he had traveled in silence had been while he was traveling alone. 

Sasuke returned his focus to his surroundings: they had exited the forest and were now walking on a broader road. The treeline was further to their left, and there was a steep hillside sloping downwards to their right. At various intervals, rocks jutted up from the earth between the path and the slope. 

Now, they had arrived at a fork in the road. From his knowledge, Sasuke guessed that one continued to skirt the border, while the other headed into the Land of Sound. His first instinct was to follow the former, but then he paused. 

All he knew was that the hideout was somewhere along the border: he would have to blindly search its entire length at this rate. This meant that going somewhere else to find information was a better idea, and as Sasuke considered the crossroads, he had an idea as to where. In the mountains a little deeper into the Land of Sound, there was a medium-sized settlement known as Echoing Valley Town. And as it so happened, Sasuke knew of a rather infamous outpost located there, where cronies of Orochimaru and other outlaws gathered to exchange goods and information.  _ Echoing Valley Town is it,  _ he thought, momentarily satisfied. 

He considered letting Naruto know of this change in plans, but faltered when he turned around and saw his companion as unresponsive as ever. Naruto was just as pale as he had been this morning and staring at the ground in complete disinterest. 

Sasuke didn’t like it, but at the same time, he didn’t know what to do.  _ Let Naruto calm himself,  _ he reasoned,  _ Don’t make things worse.  _

However, as they began to move forward again, Sasuke’s thoughts returned to his friend once again. 

_ When was the last time Naruto was this quiet?  _ he wondered. 

Because Naruto, of all people, never was. Sasuke knew this well: he had fought him in the past for this reason alone, punching him over and over in an attempt to force him to  _ shut up.  _

An unwarranted thought surfaced suddenly.  _ He was quiet last night, when he couldn’t breathe or speak.  _

Sasuke really, really didn’t want to relive those moments again.  _ Stay quiet. Don’t make things worse. _

But then a strange urge rose inside him, completely unbidden. Every rational part of him hesitated, but logic alone was not enough to deter his instinct.

Unsure of even his own intentions, he reached out silently with his chakra: just a tentative tendril tipping towards Naruto’s.  __

Usually, when he connected with Naruto, it was completely unintentional. It happened in the heat of battle, or during a moment of heightened emotion. He’d feel a spark; a small shock to his system, a reminder of the power present in his friend and the bond they both shared. And his reaction was always completely involuntary: like the accidental brushing of two hands together or the slight touch on the waist from a stranger in a crowd, contact would be made which held no meaning, yet whose unexpected nature wouldn’t allow him to brace himself against a brief flare of intense connection. 

This time, though, Sasuke moved deliberately, completely conscious of his own energy. He held his breath as he did so, suddenly deeply hoping that Naruto wouldn’t realize what he was doing.

But there was nothing. No spark, no flare, no evidence of the storm he knew to be contained inside Naruto’s every fiber. His chakra was completely silent and still; just a leaf quivering in anticipation of a gale, or the surface of a lake rippling before a rainfall— but no sign of a hurricane, not even on the horizon. 

Since the affirmation of their bond, that night they had met the Sage of the Six Paths, Naruto’s chakra had been some sort of subconscious presence within his own. Even in prison, separated by stone walls and iron bars and irreconcilable differences in morality, some part of him was certain he had been able to sense their connection at times. 

And he knew Naruto’s energy could be constrained, even subdued. But it was never quieted. 

So for a moment, when Sasuke reached out and felt emptiness where a storm should be, he was terrified.  _ This is wrong,  _ he thought,  _ Something’s been wrong since last night, and I—  _

But then, as if on cue, Naruto made a sound from beside him. Sasuke flinched back, then froze when he saw Naruto watching him with a dark look in his eyes. 

“What are you doing?” Naruto said. 

Sasuke thought he would be relieved to hear Naruto’s voice again, as his companion hadn’t spoken all day, but now all he could do was try hard to mask his surprise and guilt. Naruto was speaking in a low, almost threatening tone of voice: he barely sounded like himself. 

When Sasuke didn’t respond, Naruto’s eyes flashed with anger.  _ I made things worse,  _ Sasuke concluded.

A strange sense of apprehension filled him as he watched Naruto.  _ First his chakra, now his words.  _ He shook his head: since when did he know so much about Naruto, let alone involve himself with him? 

Still, he couldn’t deny Naruto’s clearly growing irritation. With each passing second, he could feel the hurricane that had been so notably missing just a few moments ago whirling to life in full force. And although Sasuke had been unnerved by its absence, some deep part of him could tell that the storm now forming wasn’t the usual signal of Naruto’s power and vitality. It was something angry, something twisted, something wrong. 

“I—,” he began, just as Naruto’s gale finally reached full force. 

“Sasuke, what the hell were you doing just now?” 

Not even Naruto’s anger was right. It was supposed to be honest and unbridled; this was sharp and venomous. 

Sasuke was lost for words. How was he supposed to explain the urge which had come over him? He cleared his throat and tried to calm himself before speaking. “I just wanted to let you know that I’ve decided on our next destination.”

Immediately, he knew lying had been a mistake. Naruto snarled visibly and took a step towards him. “This is the last time I’m asking,” he said. “What. Were. You. Doing?”

Sasuke felt his own temper flare. “I’m sorry,” he hissed, “Next time you, who never shuts up, decides to take a day off from speaking, I’ll just accept it.” 

Naruto’s tone was uncharacteristically cold and monotone. “That’s only fitting, isn’t it? If I can’t ask you any questions, I don’t see any reason to answer yours.” 

“What the hell does that mean?” Sasuke said, his tone bitter and snide. 

“It means I’m fucking tired, Sasuke!” Naruto burst out. “Before we left, I agreed to not ask you any questions. But that was because I was willing to do anything as long as you’d let me come with you. This is too much for me! Just because I respect your privacy doesn’t mean you have the right to keep so much from me. Just now, you said you were going to tell me where we’re going, but how do I know you were telling the truth? And that’s not all. You hide  _ everything  _ from me, Sasuke, while I share more and more of myself. I can follow you to the edge of the Valley of the End, after you left… I was crying, Sasuke, I couldn’t see because of you and I just ran and ran praying I’d catch up. And even when I’m  _ suffocating  _ in front of you, you tell me nothing. You won’t even… You won’t even tell me whether you’re going to leave again or not! And somehow, even after knowing so much about me, you think you have the right to… To use our bond against me!” 

By the end of his outburst, Naruto’s shoulders were heaving. He faced Sasuke, eyes burning with emotion. 

For a moment, Sasuke could only stare. Naruto’s words held dangerous implications, and for the sake of his own sanity, all he could focus on at that moment was the last accusation. 

When he finally replied, his voice was shaking with anger. “How  _ dare  _ you say that.”

“So it’s true, isn’t it, you fucking—” 

“For the record,” Sasuke ground out slowly, boring his eyes into Naruto’s and clenching his jaw so tightly he thought he might crack a tooth, “I was  _ not  _ ‘using our bond against you’. I was actually trying to be considerate.” 

Naruto looked mutinous. “But you didn’t say a word to me all day.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You’re the one who didn’t say anything.” 

For the first time, some of Naruto’s anger fell away and was replaced with another emotion— uncertainty. He shifted his weight, and his eyes flickered away from Sasuke’s. “That’s because you didn’t ask.” 

When Sasuke said nothing, he continued bitterly. “If you’re so strongly against telling me about this mission, how could I ask you about anything else?” 

“This isn’t only my problem,” Sasuke finally spat. The bitterness brewing inside him for the last few days had crawled up his throat and was forcing its way out. “You’re on this mission with me. That’s all you wanted, isn’t it? So you can complete your training. Or be my  _ warden,  _ that’s what the Fifth really wanted from you, isn’t it? Don’t think I don’t know why you’re here. You’re the only one who can stop me from going psycho and burning down another village, after all.” 

Naruto scoffed. “And they call  _ me  _ stupid.” 

Underneath his anger, Sasuke’s heart dropped.  _ He didn’t deny it… it really is true.  _ Part of him was cruelly disappointed, while another only cursed him for having hoped for any other outcome. 

“That’s because you are _ ,”  _ he retorted with as much venom as he could muster, even as his anger began to dissipate and be replaced by something more sorrowful. 

Naruto stood across from him, daring him to continue, and just like that Sasuke lost his will to speak. He lowered his head, exhausted. “Now, if you’re done shouting for no reason, we can keep going that way.” He pointed down the left path.

Naruto’s chakra flared again, completely unmissable even if Sasuke hadn’t been reaching out at all.  _ He’s still angry.  _

For a moment, Sasuke expected Naruto to start yelling again, or even to punch him. But after a moment, he did neither of those things. He just closed his mouth and nodded silently. 

They continued on their way, moving further from home but never from their problems, and more tense than ever before. There was something awful between them, and Sasuke had no idea how to make it go away, or even if he wanted it to.  _ Maybe it’s better this way,  _ he thought.  _ Anger is still the easiest feeling to face.  _

***

Unsurprisingly, Sasuke recoiled violently when Naruto grabbed his sleeve with no warning. It had been maybe two or three hours since their argument, and not a word had been spoken since... Sasuke swore that if he tried, he could have lashed out at Naruto with nothing more than his own chakra and the force of their two wills would have had enough substance to start dueling each other, even as their bodies continued to walk and keep their distance. But he knew better than to try that again. 

“ _ What,”  _ he hissed, rounding on Naruto, ready to spit or fight or otherwise match anything the other shinobi wanted to challenge him to, but abruptly froze as he took in first his friends’ deadly serious expression, and then the change in the air around them. 

_ We’re being watched.  _

Naruto nodded, either purely coincidentally or having sensed Sasuke’s thought somehow, but he found himself not caring what it was. Instead, he focused on a point behind Naruto’s shoulder and activated the Sharingan, letting his right eye bleed into red. 

“Should we stop?” he asked Naruto pointedly, years of training experience leaping to his defense in an instant. 

From the corner of his eye, he saw Naruto blink in confusion and then slide a cool mask over his face as he understood. “I’m not sure,” he replied. 

“If we stop here, we’ll have shelter under the rocks. If we keep going, we might find water.” 

As Sasuke spoke, he scanned the woods around them with his Sharingan, looking for any enemies. His eye swiveled and froze as he detected those watching them—  _ one to the east, perched in a tree… one down the road, on our tail…  _

“I think we have enough water to last the night,” Naruto kept the decoy conversation going. 

“Yeah,” Sasuke was distracted despite himself. There was a strange chakra signature in the air, pulsing an ominous rhythm which made his head throb and Sharingan vision shake.  _ Is it coming from the one in the east or down the road?  _

Naruto cleared his throat loudly. “Do you think we have enough water to last the night?” 

Sasuke’s brow was furrowed in concentration, trying to block out the headache beginning to drive itself into his temples.  _ This chakra signature is all over the area, including at the positions of our two pursuers. But both of them are radiating their own signatures, too. So either this signature is not coming from a ninja, or— _

Sudden dread filled him and his head snapped up, gaze zeroing in on a crag just behind where Naruto was standing.  _ There!  _ he thought, and his mouth opened to warn Naruto… 

… But it was already too late. A figure was leaping out from behind the rock, brandishing a sickeningly glowing weapon and aiming straight for Naruto’s neck. 

_ No,  _ Sasuke thought. His Sharingan took in the scene in less than a second, but it took him even less time to spring forward, shoving Naruto aside and bracing himself to make contact with the figure’s attack before he could think about it. 

A hot burst of pain exploded from a point near his left shoulder, and Sasuke felt his entire body falter under the sickening rhythm of the chakra he had sensed before. It held his systems hostage and pulsed poisonous power into his head. 

_ Fuck,  _ he managed to think, before staggering into the rock face and falling to the ground, hard. 

He blinked once, twice, still conscious but slipping away, and then forgot to blink a third time when a burst of golden power filled his vision. 

_ “SASUKE,”  _ Naruto bellowed, a foreign depth and anger filling his voice as Kurama’s radiance began to surround him. Briefly, their red eyes met before Naruto focused his attention on the foe before him. 

Sasuke’s vision doubled and glazed over under the weight of his headache, and when he tried to activate the Sharingan again a wave of sickening nausea came over him, sending his head falling limply back to the ground. All he could make out as he lay there was a figure in black robes standing between him and Naruto. The figure was brandishing a long and cruel-looking staff, the same which had hit his shoulder. Sasuke didn’t need his doujutsu to tell him that the staff was pulsing with the same chakra which was emanating from its wielder. 

And then he saw Naruto again— more of him. It looked like there were six.  _ Kage bushin?  _ Sasuke wondered briefly.  _ Or maybe it’s just my head.  _

This was his last thought before the world went dark and he knew no more. 

***

When Sasuke woke up, the first thing he felt was a pounding in his head so heavy it almost knocked him out all over again. Barely even opening his eyes, he rolled over and heaved, throwing up on the ground beside him. 

Immediately, there was something cool on his head, and he was gently moved onto his back. 

“Sasuke,” there was a voice, and it was so  _ loud,  _ and between that and the disgusting taste in his mouth, Sasuke couldn’t help but groan. 

“Sorry,” the voice again, except it was whispered this time, which was a lot better. “Sasuke, it’s me, Naruto.” 

_ Naruto.  _

_ Naruto! _

Sasuke’s eyes flared open in alarm, ignoring the assault of the sudden light entering his retinas and scanning the face hovering above him.

It was Naruto: he was alive, breathing, and had a strange expression on his face. 

He wasn’t hurt. 

“Sasuke, slow down,” Naruto whispered again. 

Sasuke licked his lips, trying to discern whether he was in any state to say something back. The rancid taste of vomit filled his mouth again, and he winced. 

“Wait,” Naruto said, and he turned away, rummaging around behind him. Sasuke closed his eyes again and was taken slightly by surprise when he felt something poking at his lips. 

“Drink,” Naruto said. “Sakura-chan gave me this, you can drink laying down.” 

The foreign object at his mouth appeared to be some sort of straw, and Sasuke gingerly took a few sips of water, rinsing out his mouth and wetting his throat.

“You got hit pretty bad,” Naruto said, still whispering. 

Sasuke cracked his eyes open again. “No shit,” he croaked. 

Naruto laughed lowly. “You’ve been out for almost three hours.” 

_ Three hours.  _ Sasuke thought back, memories beginning to slowly make their way through the haze still pulsing in his head.  _ Being followed. Chakra signatures in the woods. Pulsing, pain. The ambush. The staff. Naruto.  _ Fear shot through him, followed closely by guilt. He had been too distracted by their fight to locate their attackers on time. 

“Wha’ happened to the enemies?” he whispered, slurring slightly. 

Naruto’s face was stern.  _ He’s angry again. _ “I took care of them.” 

“The staff—” 

“I destroyed it. Hit it with a Rasengan. That’s what messed up your head, isn’t it?” 

“How did you know,” Sasuke couldn’t bring his voice to sound anything other than monotone. 

“I could feel it affecting your chakra.” 

Sasuke paused.  _ Naruto feels it too? The connection?  _ His mind began to fill with questions, but his head hurt too badly to sort through them. 

“Don’t move,” Naruto said quickly. “He impaled your shoulder, and I had to patch it up. I didn’t do a very good job, though.” 

Sasuke glanced down and saw, for the first time, that there were bandages looping around his chest and over his left shoulder. “How bad is it?” 

“Better than your head, most likely,” Naruto said ruefully. 

“Hm,” Sasuke agreed. 

Although his head was still aching just as terribly, his vision seemed to be returning. His eyes had grown accustomed to the light, and merely looking up didn’t seem to be worsening his condition anymore. He made eye contact with Naruto, who was still concernedly hovering over him. 

Sasuke frowned. “Are you hurt?” 

Naruto paused for a second, a strange look passing over his face— Sasuke hoped it wasn’t resentment.  _ It probably is, I should have noticed the attackers. _ Then Naruto shrugged. “I got a few scratches, but they’ve all healed already. Those guys were no match for Kurama.” His tone grew more serious as he continued. “They seemed really well-equipped to fight you, though.”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked. His relief at hearing Naruto was uninjured was quickly being replaced by apprehension.  _ Something isn’t right.  _

“Well, the guy with the staff. His chakra messed with your Sharingan specifically, right?” 

“Yeah... “ Sasuke agreed slowly. 

“And the other two guys were blind.” 

“Blind?” 

“I think it was so that they wouldn’t be able to be put under Mangekyou Sharingan. They fought just as well as any shinobi who can see.” 

“So you’re saying they were coming after me.” 

Naruto hesitated. “It kind of looks like that, doesn’t it?” 

Sasuke bit his lip and looked away. A wave of familiar guilt hit him and crashed against the nausea he was already fighting. It had been there sloshing around inside him since that night at Stony Crag Village, but it was suddenly surfacing all at once.  _ Traveling with me isn’t only endangering Naruto’s reputation,  _ Sasuke realized, _ but also his life.  _

“I…” Naruto’s voice suddenly sounded odd. 

Sasuke turned sharply to look at him, but Naruto was looking straight ahead, at an angle that didn’t let Sasuke see his full expression.  _ This is it. He’s about to accuse me, to call me out for everything I’ve done to him.  _

“Why did you do that?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke blinked in surprise. “Do what?” he asked slowly. 

“You know… take the hit.” 

Sasuke had been so preoccupied with his own guilt that he hadn’t even thought about that yet. He struggled to discern his thought process before the pain which had enveloped him so fully.  _ I just saw the spear coming, and…  _

His throat suddenly felt dry again. “My body just moved on its own.” 

Naruto gave him a long look, and the air between them grew heavy with memory. Sasuke swore he felt the pressure in his head build, and wondered whether he’d be able to move even without his physical wounds. 

“I understand,” Naruto said presently, breaking the silence just when Sasuke couldn’t take it anymore. “I just didn’t think… you know, after we… after earlier today…” 

Suddenly, Sasuke saw something in Naruto’s eyes which reminded him of the terror they had held last night, and felt a sudden urge to reassure his friend. 

“Naruto,” he said, “I’m sorry.” 

Naruto’s eyes dropped to meet his once again, wide and so blue that the sky behind him paled in comparison. “For what?” he asked. 

“Everything,” Sasuke replied, then: “Our fight earlier. Keeping so much from you. Trying to see what you were thinking without saying anything.” 

He expected Naruto to be surprised or angry after this admission, but his friend just looked strangely gentle. “Sasuke… I’m sorry too. I’m sorry for saying all that stuff about you. I didn’t mean it... I was just… I didn’t sleep well, you know?” 

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed. “...Me either.” 

For the hundredth time, his thoughts dwelt on the terrible effects he was surely having on Naruto as they traveled together.  _ His life and reputation are being threatened, and there are complexities between us. I have made him angry, sad, and afraid. It’s clear that he will suffer by my side.  _

At the same time, the memory of Naruto’s tears and the sounds of air rasping heedlessly through his throat burned in his mind, haunting him. And at that moment, he had a realization.

“Naruto,” he said, taking another sip of water when his voice threatened to fail him, “I’m… also sorry for trying to leave, even though you didn’t want me to.” 

Naruto looked briefly stricken, and Sasuke wondered if he’d said the wrong thing, but then he smiled. “Do you mean that?” he asked gently. “Or are you delirious?” 

Sasuke tried to shake his head and winced. Instead, he focused on Naruto’s face, trying to get his intention across. “I… I won’t leave again,” he said quietly. “I promise.” 

Naruto looked surprised at first, but his expression slowly softened. “Thank you, Sasuke. I trust you.” 

Somehow, those last three words touched Sasuke in a way he didn’t expect.  _ Naruto trusts me? Why? I must be the least trustworthy person in his life.  _

Naruto, however, seemed to disagree with his thoughts. “You’ve left me before, Sasuke. You’ve done a hell of a lot more than that, too, I guess. But you’ve never lied to me.” 

Sasuke found himself looking back through his memories of Naruto, trying to find a time that he had. Trying to find some way to blame himself, to paint himself as the villain. 

But he couldn’t think of any particular time he had committed  _ that  _ sin, he supposed. 

Naruto was still watching him, his head slightly tilted. “Also… Just to be sure, you know I’m only here because I want to be, right? I mean…” he looked away, scratching his head. “I’m not sure if you meant what you said earlier… But I’m not on a mission. And I know I’m supposed to write those reports to Baa-chan, but it’s nothing important. I’m only doing it so she doesn’t stop considering me to be the next Hokage.” 

He looked Sasuke straight in the eye, who somehow couldn’t bring himself to doubt the sincerity of Naruto’s words. “I trust you, and I’m here as your friend. There’s no mission, there’s no secret. You can trust me, too.”

Sasuke’s eyes widened.  _ That’s the only reason he’s here? _

Part of him wanted to ask Naruto more, to make sure that this was the whole truth. But his pain and exhaustion were weighing him down. He frowned as another spike of pain pulsed from his shoulder to his head. “Ugh,” he groaned. 

“Are you alright?” Naruto asked. 

“I think so,” Sasuke acknowledged cautiously. As far as he could tell, he wasn’t getting  _ worse  _ at the very least.  _ That’s good enough for now.  _

“You should rest,” Naruto said sagely.

“So should you.” 

“It’s alright,” Naruto replied easily. “I still have to set up camp. I put out your bedroll for you to lie on, but that’s about all I did since I had to tend to your sorry ass. So you go sleep.”

Sasuke found, to his surprise, that he didn’t really have anything to say to that. “Alright,” he agreed slowly. “...Thanks.” 

“No problem!” Naruto flashed him a signature, tooth-baring grin before abruptly standing up and moving around the clearing he had taken them to. 

Sasuke had still been considering helping Naruto out, but he found his eyelids starting to droop almost the moment Naruto stood up.  _ I guess I should sleep it off,  _ he reasoned,  _ just for a while. Naruto can handle everything for a couple of hours.  _

As his eyes began to close, he watched Naruto’s silhouette as his friend moved around the campfire. 

Although his body felt heavy, his mind felt lighter than it had been in a long time. Naruto had clarified many things just now, which lessened Sasuke’s burdens of guilt and mistrust. He had more questions and things he wished he could say; but for now, at least, he was content with being silently grateful. 

_ There’s still a large cleft between us, _ he understood,  _ one which might never be fully bridged _ .  _ We will never be able to repair what we used to have. But too much has happened between us for a respectful distance, either. But _ — and, for a briefly delirious moment, his aching brain allowed him to hope—  _ maybe that doesn’t have to mean a relationship full of tension and anger. _

At the very least, he had realized that leaving was out of the question, at least for now.  _ I still don’t know why Naruto’s here, exactly. But I know that he doesn’t lie: his feelings have been genuine, even if I don’t understand them. _ He couldn’t help a small smile that ghosted over his lips. _ Besides, at least if I’m here I’ll have a chance to interfere in his stupidity. If I leave, there’s no telling what he’ll get himself into.  _

His brows knitted together as he remembered today’s events once more.  _ Who knows what would have happened if I hadn’t shielded Naruto from that attack.  _

And there, as he lay there contentedly hurting with the consequences of his actions, Sasuke fell into a deep sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a little understanding and progress between them! It did take one of them getting hit for them to start talking-- Naruto and Sasuke have never been the smartest, after all. But we love them anyway, don't we? 
> 
> As always, your comments are beyond appreciated :) I was very happy to receive so much positive feedback on the last chapter, and hope that you were satisfied with the bit of payoff this week!!


	6. It's Almost Like A Long, Long Time Ago

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke's pace slows as Sasuke recovers from an assault by a mysterious group of attackers. They spend several days with no one but each other, and for the first time it seems as if the tension between them is beginning to diffuse. However, it almost seems as if it is being replaced by another feeling...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry that this chapter is a day late! I'll be honest, I spent yesterday writing a ten-page paper for uni in a very last-minute sort of way and completely forgot that it was update day.... pls forgive me, at least this is the longest chapter so far so i hope that makes up for it slightly :')

Sasuke woke up slowly, with approximately none of the skillful poise or high alertness appropriate for a high-ranking shinobi. He was groggy to start with and as if that wasn’t bad enough, excruciating pain in his shoulder and head hit him like a ton of bricks a few seconds later. 

“Ugh,” he couldn’t stop himself from groaning, as he sat up slowly. 

For the second morning in a row, Naruto appeared to have woken up earlier than him: the sight was just as surprising as the first time, but much less unpleasant due to the significant decrease in tension between them. 

Naruto noticed Sasuke stirring right away, and hurried over to his side. “Good morning,” he said, trying and failing to keep his voice down. 

“Yeah,” Sasuke muttered, focused on keeping himself upright. 

“Hey, I have these pills Sakura-chan gave me,” Naruto said. “They’re supposed to dull pain, and you… really look like you could use that right now. But you have to get up and eat first.” 

“No, I’m doing great,” Sasuke muttered, flashing a vaguely irritated look at Naruto. His friend’s chatter wasn’t exactly helping right as he was waking up. 

“Sure,” Naruto said as he rolled his eyes, choosing to ignore Sasuke’s sullen mood. “Here, get up.” 

He stretched out his hand, which Sasuke stared at doubtfully before taking it. Naruto slowly pulled him to his feet, then guided him over to the campfire, where he sat back down. 

Sasuke concentrated on slowing his heart rate as Naruto shuffled around, finding them breakfast. As his companion moved, however, he kept casting looks at Sasuke which were unmissable. 

“What?” he asked, trying not to sound unfriendly. 

“I was just wondering… Do you think you’ll be able to travel today? I know you’re acting tough, but if you could see yourself you’d think you were doing a bad job, which can only mean you’re in pretty bad shape.” 

Sasuke bristled slightly at the mention of his wounds, but couldn’t help but see the reasoning behind Naruto’s words. At the same time, he couldn’t help but notice the irony of the situation.

“You’d be pretending like nothing happened if you were in my place,” he said dryly. _He’d start running until the pain knocked him out, that idiot._

Naruto opened his mouth in indignation, then seemed to think better of it. “Well… You’re probably right,” he said. 

Sasuke frowned. After so many days of arguing and taking each others’ comments in the worst way possible, the sudden agreement seemed strange. Still, with his head in this state, _and after last night’s events,_ he wasn’t going to try to start a fight.

“Anyway,” Naruto returned to the original question, “ _Can_ you travel?” 

Sasuke bit back the _yes, obviously_ which was already making its way up his throat, and paused to think as Naruto handed him breakfast. _I’m still able to walk despite my wounds,_ he assessed. _I should be fit for travel._

His main concern, however, was combat. He had not tried to use either his Sharingan or Rinnegan since the attack, and could still feel that foreign chakra wielded by last night’s attacker swirling behind his eyes. _That’s not good._ _I have to keep track of that power and make sure it doesn’t grow._

“I think so,” Sasuke settled on after a moment. His first instinct was to leave it at that, and not tell Naruto of his weakness. However, he suddenly recalled the night before— the concerns Naruto had had about Sasuke’s lack of transparency, and the promise he himself had made. 

“I’m not entirely sure of my combat ability,” he admitted. “My mobility and concentration are limited, and I don’t think I should try using doujutsu yet.” 

Naruto frowned but nodded, with not a trace of judgment in his expression. Sasuke noticed this and felt his heart lighten unexpectedly. 

“That makes sense,” Naruto agreed. “I guess we should take extra care to stay away from towns then, right? We don’t want any more of those guys coming after you right now.” 

Sasuke looked blank. Sure, they had theorized about the enemies targeting him specifically, but Naruto was acting as if it was a fact. _Have I missed anything?_

Naruto looked more confused than Sasuke felt. “Don’t you remember?” he asked. But then he stood up quickly, almost knocking over his drink. “I completely forgot!” he exclaimed. “I found this last night, on one of the enemies.” 

He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to Sasuke, who took it without a word. 

_To whom it may concern,_

_Here is the agreed upon amount. I expect you to faithfully complete the task you have been assigned. Your target is Uchiha Sasuke of the Sharingan. I trust you are fully aware of his skills and capabilities, as well as how to neutralize them. According to our intelligence, he is traveling with Uzumaki Naruto. Make sure you do not harm him, but incapacitate him so he might not interfere._

Once Sasuke finished reading, he merely continued to stare at the unsigned bottom of the page. Worry spiked inside him, and not necessarily for himself. He shifted, looking intently up at Naruto. 

His friend stared back, suddenly serious and with an air as if he could see right through Sasuke. 

“You aren’t planning to revoke your promise so soon, are you?” Naruto asked quietly. 

Sasuke furrowed his brow: that had been the first place his thoughts had headed. Last night’s realization, that Naruto was putting his life in danger by traveling with Sasuke, was ringing more dangerously true than ever. _Still…_

He took a deep breath. “No, I’m not,” he said. He still didn’t entirely understand why he had made that promise last night, but he did understand the significance of Naruto’s words. _You’ve never lied to me,_ he had said, and Sasuke intended to keep it that way, if only for the sake of some small selfish hope that he _hadn’t_ hurt Naruto beyond repair. 

“Good,” Naruto smiled, though it didn’t entirely reach his eyes. 

_There it is, that unspoken thing that separates us._

The moment passed quickly, however, and Naruto assumed a more casual tone. “So like I was saying, we should probably avoid towns for a few days until you’re feeling better. I’d prefer if we had supplies to patch you up better, but at least there’s bandages and pills in this med kit. So we’ll survive,” Naruto said. 

“Yeah,” Sasuke agreed, “And I think I know where to go now.” 

Naruto stayed quiet, evidently still reluctant to ask questions, but Sasuke finally picked up on this and offered him more information without being prompted. 

“In Echoing Valley Town,” he said, “There’s an outpost where people go to find information... The seedy kind. Orochimaru always used to have a guy or two stationed there. I think we should be able to find out where Danzo’s hideout is if we go to this outpost and ask around. It’s about two days’ walk away, and I can get us there without passing through any other settlements.” 

Naruto listened attentively, eyes glimmering with satisfaction as Sasuke’s plan was divulged. “When you say two days’ walk, do you mean at the speed we’ve been going?” 

“Yes,” Sasuke affirmed. 

“So… How long will it take us now?” 

Sasuke thought for a moment. “I suppose I’ll just have to see how fast I can travel,” he ducked his head, once again feeling slightly humiliated at the state he was in. 

“Hey,” Naruto said, tone changing to something vaguely softer. “Don’t worry about not being able to go top speed for a few days. We’re not in a rush, right?” 

When Sasuke simply watched, he continued. “Besides, I’m grateful. You saw what that letter said: they were going to knock me out!” 

Sasuke’s breath hitched in his throat, surprised: then he merely assumed an aggravated expression. “Yeah, I just got knocked out instead,” he said dryly.

Naruto faltered slightly. “I… I didn’t really mean….” 

But Sasuke smirked before he could finish his sentence. “I wasn’t serious,” he said, bracing himself to stand up. 

He saw Naruto’s jaw drop slightly before he turned away and began to pack his belongings. 

“You were _joking?”_ he thought he heard Naruto whisper, but chose to ignore that as well, in favor of allowing his smirk to broaden ever so slightly. 

As the two of them packed up their camp, the air between them felt lighter than it had in several days. It almost reminded Sasuke of times the two of them had spent together what felt like a lifetime ago, but it also felt different. 

_I don’t suppose it will ever be quite the same as it was back then,_ he thought. _But maybe we can learn to live with what lies between us after all._

There were no obvious answers to his musings, but despite this Sasuke still found himself able to start his day and get on the road with a relatively light heart. 

  
  


*** 

  
  


As Sasuke feared, they were traveling at a much slower pace than he would have liked. Even he could admit that this was less of a mission-related issue as a personal one: there was little reason for them to move quickly, apart from avoiding a potential confrontation with more mercenaries— if that was even something to worry about. At this point, there was no way to know whether a second group would be sent after them or not. They didn’t even know who had sent the assassins, what their motives were, or how much money they had at their disposal.

“Who would pay those guys to come after you, anyway?” Naruto had asked, reflecting Sasuke’s own thoughts at one point that morning as they skirted a deep valley. 

Sasuke guessed that the services of these mercenaries hadn’t been cheap, but that ruled few people out. _All I know about this person is that they were able to come by a decent amount of money and that, for some reason, they didn’t want to hire a ninja from any of the major Villages. And that really doesn’t give us any leads._

“There are a lot of people with enough money to pay for an assassination,” he mused, ignoring Naruto’s twitch as his use of that last word, “and even more people who would work hard to be able to collect that money, if they’re holding enough of a grudge.” 

“You don’t sound very surprised about all of this,” Naruto remarked. 

"That’s because I’m not,” Sasuke replied, looking at him sideways. “I wasn’t exactly _expecting_ it, but it’s not uncommon. People I used to work with had assassins sent after them all the time.” 

Naruto’s mouth twisted into a grimace, so Sasuke tried to reassure him. “Don’t be so shocked. You’ve had people try to kill you before.” 

His fellow shinobi let out an incredulous laugh, “Yeah, but a random person _paying_ for your corpse is different from some big bad guy coming for your power.” 

Sasuke shrugged. “I suppose. Well, unless we find more information, it’s useless to try to theorize. This is most likely the doing of one of the many people who felt wronged by me at some point.” 

Naruto was watching him carefully, and Sasuke looked away. _So he is concerned, after all. Despite telling me not to take back my promise, he’s not happy about the situation._

Part of him wanted to say something, but he thought better of it. He wasn’t going to risk ruining the peace they had only established yesterday.

  
  


***

  
  


By around three in the afternoon, Sasuke was starting to feel on edge. They had only been moving at around a third of their usual speed, and he was already beginning to feel fatigue setting in despite this. His shoulder sent bolts of pain down his nonexistent arm with every step, and his head seemed to hurt more every time he looked at something (or someone) for slightly too long or with a little more intensity than necessary. 

However, the idea of already stopping for the day when they had barely been traveling for half of their usual time wasn’t at all appealing. 

Inevitably, Naruto soon picked up on his discomfort. 

“Do you want to take a break?” he asked. “We can eat lunch.” 

“We can eat on the road,” Sasuke replied evenly. 

“Hmm,” Naruto said, thinking exaggeratedly. “You know, we’re running low on rations.”

“So?” 

“If we stop somewhere, we might be able to find some…” 

“No,” Sasuke replied shortly before his companion was quite done talking. 

“But if we do stop…” 

“If _you_ don’t stop talking, I will give you a concussion worse than mine.” 

Naruto shrugged. “Suit yourself.” 

For a moment he paused, and Sasuke thought he might have finally gotten across to him. But Naruto, being Naruto, wasn’t so easily silenced. 

“Sasuke, supposing we did run out of food…” 

The ninja in question sighed, preparing himself for what was sure to be a long-winded spiel. 

“If we ran out of food, we would eventually die, you know. Of starvation. We would get hungrier and hungrier, and eventually, we would waste away. We’d end up as two skeletons in the mountains somewhere. And…!” 

Naruto paused, supposedly for dramatic effect. “We are dangerously close to this point. If you looked in my knapsack right now, you’d find almost _nothing._ Only a few ration bars, and a food pill or two gathering dust at the very bottom. Sasuke, do you really want your last meal to be a dusty food pill from the bottom of my bag? Do you?” 

Naruto was sounding more and more impassioned, gesturing dramatically with every word. Sasuke gritted his teeth and tried to fight the urge to bury his face in his hands. 

When Naruto launched into yet another zealous monologue detailing the dangers of deprivation from daily meals, it was the last straw.

“ _Fine,_ ” Sasuke relented, “We’ll stop somewhere. But for no more than an hour.” 

Naruto grinned widely. “Got it!” he exclaimed. “I think if we follow this hill, we’ll find a river. Maybe we can catch some fish!”

Sasuke nodded. Now that he had agreed, the prospect didn’t seem at all like a bad idea. He _was_ hungry, if not quite as close to the brink of starvation as Naruto had described, and most likely due for another pain-numbing pill. 

The two of them made their way down the hill, picking their way through the undergrowth and underneath some young trees. Naruto’s instincts turned out to be right: at the bottom of the hill was a wide, grassy riverbank with calm water just beyond. 

For a moment, they both stood at the edge of the treeline. Naruto was gazing out upon the water, and when Sasuke did the same he was briefly reminded of a time long ago when the two of them, along with Sakura and Kakashi, had gone fishing on a riverside which looked remarkably similar. 

Naruto made a faint sound from beside him, causing Sasuke to suddenly look his way, and their gazes met. There was something meaningful in Naruto’s deep blue eyes; there by the river, a spark of recognition passed between them. 

_So you_ are _remembering, Naruto, just as I am._

Then Naruto turned, and the feeling was gone. Sasuke exhaled both relief and disappointment, strangely stricken. 

They moved closer to the water and set up camp under a lone willow tree. The sun was still high in the sky and it was quite warm that day, so the branches provided welcome shade. 

Naruto knelt down and began to dig around in his bag. “I’m going to go fishing!” he announced. He darted to the water’s edge, quickly finding a suitable stick and handily attaching tools he had found to convert it into a fishing pole. 

After this, he flopped down on the grass, discarding his jacket beside him to bask in the sunlight. Sasuke thought about joining him, but found the shade underneath the willow tree was helping to ease his headache. 

_Just a few minutes, then I’ll get up and help._

As he sat there, the scene before him began to fade to black. He was faintly disturbed— _Are my eyes getting worse? Is it that poisonous chakra?_

...But by the time he had thought of these questions, his sight returned and Naruto was suddenly standing over him. 

_What?_

“Sasukeeeeh,” Naruto said, long and drawn out with a smile on his face. “Wake up!” 

_Wake up?_ Sasuke wondered as he blearily took in his surroundings. With a start, he realized that the sun was suddenly visibly lower on the horizon. 

“Hm?” he mumbled. 

Naruto dropped into a crouch, tilting his head to the sight as he surveyed Sasuke. “Are you alright?” he asked. 

“Yes, why?” Sasuke asked briskly. 

“You barely sleep at night, let alone during the day. So for you to just drop off like that, something must be wrong.” 

“Nothing’s _wrong,_ ” Sasuke retorted, “I’m just—” 

“Recovering from a serious attempt on your life?” Naruto asked. There was a serious undertone in his eyes, his tone was suddenly much less flippant than it had been before; Sasuke couldn’t begin to imagine why. 

Sasuke’s eyes flickered away from his friend’s face. 

“Anyway,” Naruto sighed, “Come and eat.” 

Sasuke raised his eyebrows: now that he was more focused, he could smell freshly cooked fish in the air, and see a campfire a few meters away. The sight was welcoming to his pained and travel-weary body and soul. _But still…_

“We should go,” he grunted. 

“What are you talking about?” Naruto asked. 

“I only wanted to stay here for an hour.” 

“Well…” Naruto shrugged. “It’s already late now, and there’s food ready. How about we just call this a supply restock day?” 

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, something inside him still reluctant to agree. But when he met Naruto’s eyes once more and saw only concern without pity and compromise without surrender, the idea didn’t seem as offensive. 

“Alright,” he said, nodding slowly. 

Naruto smiled slightly while rising to his feet. “Restock day it is. Now come on and get dinner! I cooked it all, you know. And I caught the fish!” 

Sasuke stood up gingerly and followed him over to the campfire. 

***

The next day they did not travel at a much faster pace than the day before, but Sasuke was able to keep it up for a few additional hours. They didn’t stop walking until late afternoon, when the sun was beginning to illuminate their surroundings with an orange glow. 

They set up camp in a small grotto, a hollow naturally carved into exposed rock at the base of a hill. It was positioned at the base of a shallow valley which was lush with greenery, growing in fertile ground fed by a nearby spring. From the grotto, they could hear its sound as it ran in a small waterfall down into the valley. 

After dinner, Sasuke made his way over to the base of the waterfall and the silvery pool which collected there. The medicine kit Sakura had given Naruto included bandages that could be washed and then re-used which came in very useful when one was trying to avoid civilization. Although, Sasuke had had to do this every day since the attack, which was proving to be less efficient than he had hoped. 

Firstly, there was the matter of removing the bandages with only one hand and a very painful left shoulder. 

He deftly removed his shirt, moving the material so as to cause as little chafing as possible against his bruised flesh. Then he reached towards the knot of his bandaging and pulled as gently as he could. 

However, it seemed that the area had gotten more stiff and tender over the course of the day, even as the swelling had gone down and a lot of mobility had been restored. When he touched the area it reacted immediately, and much more forcefully than he had expected. 

“Fuck,” he swore, then gasped at the hot spike of pain which shot through him. He paused for a moment, squeezing his eyes shut and giving himself a moment to recover. 

Sasuke had dealt with his share of physical pain before, but it was that damn chakra signature remaining in his wounds that made it unbearable sometimes. Whenever that pain shot through him, he could feel severe trauma to his optic nerves, in some ways the most sensitive in his body. On top of that, it felt like his very own chakra was rebelling against the pathways inside him. 

“Sasuke?” he suddenly heard from behind him, and despite the familiarity of the voice itself, he spun around in surprise, causing yet another pain to fire at his nerves. 

It was Naruto, of course: his face was written with concern, and something shyer which Sasuke couldn’t quite recognize at that moment. 

“Sorry, I heard you,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck, “And I just wanted to check on you.” 

“Yeah,” Sasuke exhaled, sliding his eyes closed again and unable to bring himself to hide his exhaustion. “It’s stiffer today, that’s all.” 

“Um,” Naruto was moving closer, “Is there any way I could… You know… Help?” 

Sasuke’s eyes blinked open again, watching Naruto questioningly. 

The shyness in Naruto’s face intensified, and suddenly Sasuke recognized it. _He’s embarrassed?_ he thought, but his realization was cut short by Naruto coming closer. 

“I know I didn’t do a great job last time, but it’ll probably be better than whatever you try to do with only one hand and an immobile left half.” 

_I’m not an invalid,_ Sasuke felt like saying, but found himself staying silent as Naruto sat down beside him at the edge of the pool. 

“They need to be taken off and washed first, right?” Naruto asked, and Sasuke nodded. 

Then his friend pushed up the sleeves of his jacket and went to work untying Sasuke’s handiwork. 

His touch, contrary to his words and manner, was feather-light. Small flashes of pain were still moving through Sasuke’s system, but they were far more bearable than the consequences of even his initial self-imposed touch. And instead of the pain itself, he found himself able to focus on the new sensation instead. 

A strange silence fell between them as Naruto moved, and Sasuke was suddenly acutely aware of his own skin, and even more so of Naruto’s touches dancing across it. His fingers were cool and calming, more so than the evening air, and a sharp breath escaped him before he could stop it. Naruto’s ministrations stopped immediately. 

“Are you alright?” Naruto asked. “I’m not hurting you or anything, right?” 

“No, it’s fine,” Sasuke replied. “Just keep going.” 

Naruto moved carefully around him, unwrapping the bandages and making small sounds whenever he needed Sasuke to shift slightly. Sasuke silently let him proceed, letting everything coming from Naruto distract him from what was coming from himself. 

When the bandage was taken off he hissed again, this time purely in pain. He closed his eyes. 

He heard Naruto circle back to his front and kneel down, examining the wound. “Ah, that doesn’t look good,” he winced. “How does it feel?” 

“Not as bad as losing an arm,” Sasuke panted. 

He opened his eyes in time to see Naruto smile ruefully at his quip. “That information is more useful to me than it would be to most people.” 

“You got a new arm, though,” Sasuke said, partially to distract himself from the pain which was now racing through him like the fire before a _katon_ jutsu. 

“Yeah, I did,” Naruto said. “Which is probably a good thing, in this situation.” As he spoke, he turned to the pool and laid the bandage down in the clear, shallow water to soak. 

“ _Hn,”_ Sasuke grunted, as much a sound of pain as of agreement. 

“Why didn’t you get yours replaced, anyway?” Naruto asked, turning back and opening a tin of ointment Sasuke had brought along. “Keep talking, this is going to hurt.” 

With the promise of pain in mind, Sasuke refrained from shrugging. 

“Well,” Sasuke strained as Naruto’s fingers began to prod at the wound, the touch suddenly no longer cool nor relaxing, “Actually, the idea of having Hashirama’s cells— _ah_ — merged onto my body was a little strange. Not just because I’m an Uchiha, I— _fuck—_ just didn’t like the idea... after everything we saw. Also, I guess I wanted a reminder.” 

He exhaled shakily when Naruto’s hands left the wound. 

“A reminder?” Naruto asked, jaw clenched and eyes focused as he unrolled a length of gauze and cut it off with the edge of a kunai.

“Yeah,” Sasuke didn’t elaborate, and suddenly the sensation in his shoulder wasn’t the most painful burn running through his body. 

Naruto didn’t push for more explanation. “Talk about something else,” he said. “It helps it hurt less.” 

Sasuke wondered for a moment which of his pains Naruto was referring to, but decided either would do. 

“Well, where’d you learn to play medic-nin?” Sasuke asked, teasing quietly between breaths. 

“Sakura,” Naruto answered seriously, “She made sure I knew some of the basics, I guess.”

“Hn,” Sasuke hummed. Not for the first time, he wondered how the relationship between Naruto and Sakura had developed after he left. If she had been able to teach him anything, their dynamic must have shifted significantly. _Although it could also be their individual changes in character,_ he supposed. 

“How... How is she doing?” he asked, grasping for more questions that would encourage Naruto to talk. Naruto’s voice gave him something to focus on, a refuge within the storm of pain which assaulted his body. 

“You saw her during the War,” he began slowly. “She’s… A force to be reckoned with.” 

He cast a quick look at Sasuke and seemed to take a hint. “After you… Well, when I was training with Jiraiya, she trained under Tsunade. You knew that, didn’t you? She trained to be a medic-nin, but she gained a lot of combat skills, too. She could always punch hard,” — he chuckled at a memory— “But Tsunade taught her some things, and now her strength is _insane.”_

Sasuke nodded, eyes glazed and hands fisting the fabric of his pants. “It sounds like she’s doing well,” he gasped. 

“Yeah. You know, this one time, there were a bunch of dickhead Chuunin who were laughing, they didn’t believe her when she said she could punch them all the way across the training ground, so she…” 

As Naruto kept talking, the pain became less all-encompassing, less strident. It was there, and it was a fire, but Naruto’s voice kept the heat under control. Sasuke closed his eyes and listened, and before he knew it, Naruto was done. 

“Did you even hear what I was saying?” he joked, giving one last cursory look at his handiwork. 

“Yeah, I did,” Sasuke said. “...I’m glad to hear that about her.”

“Yeah well,” Naruto smirked. “Once she got over your sorry ass, she was a lot better off.” For a minute he looked as if he was going to continue his sentence, but he changed his mind. 

Sasuke just shrugged. “I have no doubt.” 

After Naruto finished applying the ointment, he fished the bandages out of the water and wrung them out. Then he and Sasuke shared a look, and the latter reached out his hand and let a small amount of his fiery chakra loose, quickly drying the bandages and leaving them steaming hot. 

Naruto laughed in soft delight as he did this, and Sasuke looked up to see his eyes glowing with sunlight despite night having fallen some time ago. 

Then he was quickly bandaged up again, he pulled on his shirt, and the two of them walked the short distance back to their grotto. 

Naruto fell asleep quickly after muttering _goodnight_ and soon filled the space with soft and contented snores. Sasuke stayed awake a while longer, looking out on the valley where they had spent the evening, which was now silvery and serene in the moonlight.

And there, with that view before him and Naruto beside him, Sasuke felt for the first time as if the past may be behind them, after all. 

  
  


***

One day passed, then another, and yet another on which they made progress but didn’t force themselves too far. 

Sasuke was finally getting used to this change of pace and found himself less worried about keeping to his internal schedule, which had been so rigorous before. He found himself sleeping later and waking up earlier. Additionally, the lack of time he now spent planning his day almost seemed to make up for the slower pace they were moving at. 

Still, Sasuke found his hours on this journey seemed to be tinged with a strange, golden feeling in his mind; a filter casting itself over his memories in a way he wasn’t sure he had ever experienced. It was a sort of calm, he realized, and it had touched him ever since he and Naruto had established their delicate peace. 

Still, no matter the sense of calm that had placed itself within his and Naruto’s connection, Sasuke still found his body roaring with energy as he began to recover. He had a natural fire within him, one which could only be released through physical activity. It could not stand to be contained for so long, and was begging to get out. 

Fortunately, he did not have to wait long for an opportunity. 

“You seem like you’re doing better today,” Naruto remarked as they made their way through a field of tall grass. 

“Hn,” Sasuke agreed. He definitely was. He had regained all mobility, though he still wasn’t entirely confident in the use of his doujutsu. 

“Hey, listen,” Naruto was suddenly dancing in front of him, a conspiratorial gleam in his eyes. “Do you wanna spar with me?”

Sasuke looked up with a mixture of surprise and anticipation. “Spar?”

“Yeah! I mean, if you’re up to it,” Naruto said. He smirked. 

“I just figured you’d be feeling restless after being out of it for a couple of days, you know? And since we’re not in the hospital in Konoha,” — he lowered his voice— “No one can tell us that you’re not healed up enough yet. We’ll just go easy, yeah?” He finished his question with a wink. 

Sasuke stood up swiftly, already unfastening his cloak and tearing it off with a flourish. “Naruto,” he growled, “If you _go easy_ on me I will destroy you.” 

Naruto laughed, starting to run. “Come on, then!” he was yelling. “Prove I don’t have to.” 

They faced off in the middle of a grassy field, under the blazing sun. Naruto had taken off his jacket and was standing in just his undershirt; Sasuke had pushed up the sleeves of his tunic and put away his cloak and sword. He also smoothed his hair back behind his ear, exposing the Rinnegan despite not planning to use it. 

“Fists only!” Naruto called. 

Sasuke smirked. “Scared?” He had to taunt, despite them both knowing it would not be a good idea for him to use his doujutsu at the moment. 

It started slowly; circling each other, gradually drawing closer. Naruto’s eyes were fierce and bright, and his stance was broad. Every step he took radiated strength, as opposed to Sasuke’s lighter approach. 

Still, it was Sasuke who struck first. He lowered himself and sprang forward, making himself as small of a target as possible and aiming a fist straight at Naruto’s stomach, which was facing him. 

Naruto saw his attack coming and leaped sideways, shifting his body in such a fluid way that Sasuke could see the muscles ripple even through his shirt. At the same time, he aimed a blow at Sasuke’s jaw, which the older nin dodged by rolling across the ground. 

As he rolled, he attempted to trip Naruto, and succeeded. The blonde went sprawling onto the ground and Sasuke jumped forwards to tackle him, but Naruto was too fast. He sprang through the air behind him. 

Sasuke twisted and rounded on him, bearing down on him with a set of complex steps. And so their session continued. 

It ended with them both on the ground panting, bruised and battered and thoroughly satisfied. Sasuke’s warrior blood was singing with exhilaration; after days of weakness and frustration before that, a good sparring session was exactly what he needed. Besides, trading blows rather than words had always come more naturally to him and Naruto, anyway. He hadn’t read anything particular from Naruto during their session besides the same excitement and fierce determination he was feeling, the love for battle they had always shared, but he didn’t have to. Sometimes when they were sparring, he didn’t have to think about chakra bonds and emotional resonance anymore. Sometimes it could just be the two of them, a space, and a flurry of bruising blows. Sometimes it was just Naruto and Sasuke, still there despite everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what's that in the air? could it be..... hints of romance? 
> 
> as always, your comments mean a lot so please let me know how you're liking the story so far as it continues to unfold!!


	7. Empty Homes and Furtive Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke reach Echoing Valley Town, where they hope to find a lead as to where Danzo's hideout is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! As you may have noticed, I took a week off last week for the holidays. I hope that's alright! Without further ado here's chapter 7, please enjoy :)

“I think we’ll reach Echoing Valley Town today,” Sasuke announced over breakfast the morning after his and Naruto’s sparring session. 

Naruto looked up at him with moderate interest. “That’s good, I was wondering if we were getting close.” 

“We could have gotten there faster if we were traveling full speed, but we’ve been walking,” Sasuke mused. “And I’ve been taking us down less-traveled routes. I doubt more assassins of that level will be sent after us so soon, but...” he trailed off, still a little bitter at his own defeat.

“Don’t worry about it,” Naruto said cheerfully. “It’s not like we’re in any rush. Besides, with no medic around, we had to make sure you rested up. How’s your head and shoulder now, anyway?” 

“Fine,” Sasuke said, flexing his shoulder to prove his words. _I’m still not sure about using the Sharingan, though._

Naruto nodded, hesitating slightly. _He knows you’re not telling the whole truth,_ Sasuke reminded himself. _He can tell._ For a moment he thought Naruto might pry further, but fortunately, he seemed to decide against it. 

“So what’s your plan, once we get there?” Naruto asked, beginning to pack up their supplies. 

“We’ll go in quietly,” Sasuke replied instantly. “There are most likely civilians living there even if there are no ninja, so we will just blend in with the crowds.” 

“And then?” 

“I know where the outpost was,” Sasuke said. “There’s an entrance behind one of the shops. We’ll go in through there.” 

“What if we don’t find anything?” Naruto asked. “Where will we go then?” 

Sasuke chuckled. “There’s virtually no chance of us finding _nothing,_ knowing Orochimaru,” he said. “Even if none of his former friends are there, someone else will be. Once places like these have gained a reputation, information continues to find itself there.” 

“Alright,” Naruto nodded simply, not questioning Sasuke’s knowledge on these matters. “Lead the way.” 

The air that morning was hazy, and neither warm nor cold. They had spent the night at the base of a hill, which was covered with fog in the early morning. Naruto laughed as they began to travel up the hill, then grumbled when his jacket began to grow damp. 

“Hey, Sasuke, are you seeing this?” He sounded outraged.

Sasuke clamped down on what definitely was _not_ a smile before answering. “It’s what happens when you walk through a fog bank. What, never seen one before?” 

“I try to wake up _after_ they’ve disappeared,” Naruto said. “Unlike some weirdos who want to leave at dawn whenever they can for some reason.” 

Sasuke just rolled his eyes, not deigning to reply, and they walked along in comfortable silence. 

***

It was mid-morning when they crested the umpteenth hill in their path and Sasuke rather suddenly flung out an arm, stopping Naruto in his tracks. The other shinobi huffed, having lost his breath. 

“What was that f—” he began to ask, but trailed off when he saw where Sasuke’s gaze was pointed. 

“Echoing Valley Town,” Sasuke said, answering Naruto’s unspoken question. “Be careful, and follow my lead.” 

The town was still nearly three kilometers away: at this range, Sasuke couldn’t gather information as to its state even if he had had full confidence in his doujutsu. 

“We have to move in closer,” Naruto said, voicing Sasuke’s own thoughts. 

He nodded. “Let’s move in from the east gate. That’s closest to the entrance of the outpost.” 

“Alright,” Naruto said. “Wear your hood, too.” As he spoke, he unrolled his rain cloak from his knapsack and put it on, pulling the white hood down as far over his face as it would go. 

Sasuke followed suit. When he looked up, he caught Naruto staring at him. Then, the other man quickly stepped towards him and extended a hand towards his face. 

“What—” Sasuke asked, leaning away from the touch, but Naruto was insistent. He reached under Sasuke’s hood, combing his fingers through Sasuke’s fringe and gently smoothing it down over his left eye— _My Rinnegan,_ Sasuke realized faintly, but the realization meant little next to the strange sensation welling up inside his chest. 

_I’m not hurt anymore,_ he wanted to tell his friend, because that was the only reason Naruto had been touching him more during the last week. _Necessity, and nothing else._

As soon as it had come, Naruto’s touch was gone, and Sasuke was left staring at the tanned, calloused fingers which had brushed through his hair so gently. 

“Hey, Sasuke?” Naruto asked, looking at him out of the corner of his eye. 

Sasuke shook himself and looked back over at the village in the valley below. He cleared his throat, feeling Naruto’s eyes on the back of his neck for some reason, even through the thick material of his hood. “Let’s go.” 

Naruto was uncharacteristically silent, but fell into step beside him. 

As they neared the town gate, Sasuke stayed alert to their surroundings, uncomfortably aware of the sorts of people Orochimaru might have guarding one of his bastions. He could feel Naruto’s chakra beside him pulsing at the same guarded frequency, and relaxed a little. _Even without telling him anything, he knows what to do._

Their approach went uninterrupted, but Sasuke didn’t let his guard down. If anything, the silence set him further on edge. When the stone wall of the village came into view through the trees, he sent a quick look at Naruto, who nodded back at him. _He’s saying he’ll follow me._

For a second, Sasuke was struck by the irony of the situation. _After so many years of Naruto trying to drag me out of places like these, he’s following me right into one of Orochimaru’s outposts._

When they reached the treeline he looked at the guard posts by the gate and up at the top of the wall, scanning for guards. He saw none, and nodded at Naruto. Slowly, they made their way up the road to the gate, which stood wide open and silent. Once they stood level with the wall, they paused. 

Their spot earned them an excellent vantage point: behind the wall, the ground dipped sharply and the buildings were all built into the side of a hill. The houses weren’t very tall, and didn’t block their view either. They could see the main square at the bottom of the hill, as well as the line of shops where Sasuke knew the entrance to the outpost was hidden. 

But something was wrong. As far as he could see, there wasn’t a single person in the village. 

It was midday, the weather was decent, and there was no evidence of an outlaw raid or a fire. Nevertheless, the streets were completely empty and no other signs of life were visible. Sasuke stared the scene down, glaring intensely as if to intimidate the village’s people into revealing themselves, but no one was there. He didn’t need his Sharingan to come to this realization. 

“I don’t see anything,” he whispered. 

Naruto frowned. “The village is… empty? That doesn’t make sense.” 

“No,” Sasuke said grimly. “No, it doesn’t.” 

“We should go down and check it out,” Naruto said. 

Sasuke nodded slowly, frowning down at the village again. “We’ll have to—” 

“Be careful, I know,” Naruto flashed him a grin, blindingly bright under the overcast sky and the gloom from the deserted village. With that, he began to walk down the hill. Sasuke followed close behind. 

They both sent cursory looks around before stealthily moving towards the first row of houses, much more guarded than they would have been surrounded by a crowd. The dwellings were relatively simple: single-story stone buildings with darkened windows and no gardens. They didn’t appear threatening on the surface, but Sasuke still tried to stay out of the windows’ field of view. With each step forward, he was conscious of the eyes potentially watching his and Naruto’s every move.

Despite Sasuke’s suspicions, the two shinobi soon found themselves level with the row of houses, and they crouched down across from each other in a narrow alley. 

“What do you think?” Naruto whispered. His voice sounded incredibly loud: Sasuke hadn’t realized just how quiet the town was until his friend spoke. It was definitely suspicious: as far as he knew, this town was decently well-known for trade and should have been bustling, especially considering the summer season and the time of day. This stifling, all-encompassing silence, however... 

“Something’s wrong,” Sasuke said. 

Staying close to the ground, he moved forward until he could peer around the front of the houses. He realized this was the main street, where the most activity should be taking place, but this place seemed just as devoid of life as everywhere else. 

Naruto crept up behind him. “I think we can show ourselves,” he said. “We need to find out whether anything happened here, and we can’t do that while sneaking around like this.” 

Sasuke supposed he was right, but felt a strange reluctance at the same time. Something was telling him that exposing themselves would be a bad idea. _But_ _maybe it’s just my paranoia associated with Orochimaru’s hideouts,_ he reasoned. _I can’t let old memories cloud my judgment in a situation like this._

With a backward glance, Naruto stood up and walked into the center of the main street. Sasuke followed him, and together they turned to look at the houses they had just approached from behind. 

“Well, shit,” Naruto said, and Sasuke couldn’t help but think that that was a good way of putting it. 

From the back, nothing about the houses had been particularly notable. But seeing them from this side left no question that this town was abandoned. Most doors and shutters were boarded up or padlocked shut: the ones which weren’t were blown wide open, moving in the breeze. It was obvious that no one had been here for at least several weeks. 

“What happened here?” Naruto asked. He was no longer whispering, but his voice was still hushed— Sasuke wasn’t sure whether in disbelief or lingering caution. 

“Let’s see if we can find out,” Sasuke said. Naruto nodded, eyes round and serious. 

They slowly began to walk down the main street, pausing to inspect whatever caught their eye. 

“Since a lot of the doors and windows are boarded and locked, it seems like the villagers didn’t leave in a hurry, right?” Naruto asked. 

“Either that or someone else did it later,” Sasuke said darkly. 

“Who would do that, though?” 

Sasuke didn’t reply, but a chill crept up his spine. If an individual had driven the inhabitants away, they couldn’t be an easy opponent. Taking out an entire town, especially one associated with Orochimaru, was something no ordinary group of outlaws would dare to do. 

“Have you looked around with the Sharingan yet?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke hesitated. “Well…” 

Although he was still experiencing strange aches behind his eyes, much of the damage had been healed. _Now is as good of a time to try as ever,_ he reasoned, _and if it doesn’t work I’ll just have to tell Naruto._

With that decision made he let chakra bleed into his left eye, slowly and carefully as if he were awakening his Sharingan for the first time. 

When his vision stabilized and was swimming with that familiar red glow, he cast a concentrated look down the seemingly deserted main street. 

Before he could even register his own movement, he was ducking into the nearest alley, dragging Naruto with him. The other shinobi had been standing to his right so Sasuke grabbed his shoulder as he moved, forcing his companion forward. Sasuke’s momentum propelled them into a wall: Naruto’s back slammed into it and Sasuke stumbled towards him, trying to regain his balance and still holding Naruto’s shoulder for support. 

Sasuke straightened up, and then time froze. 

Naruto was pressed up against the wall, face only a few inches away as his blue eyes met Sasuke’s glittering ones. His expression was hard: filled with a mixture of shock and ferocity and flaring with the instinctual flame of battle as he stared up. He was breathing heavily; Sasuke’s grip was still crushing his shoulder and the Uchiha could feel every ragged breath the other man took as his chest rose and fell. 

“Wh—” Naruto croaked, but Sasuke pressed a hand over his mouth faster than he could think and they both froze on the spot. 

He turned his red eye on Naruto, whose mouth dropped open beneath Sasuke’s fingers. But Sasuke’s Sharingan stare avoided the other shinobi’s face and instead focused towards the edge of the village, by the south gate. 

This time, he picked up something definite. There was a presence there: vague, undoubtedly trying to conceal itself, but there. Sasuke stood there, frozen, trying to determine its exact position as well as anything else he could learn about it. 

As he stood, he began to regain feeling in his body, and slowly realized his positioning relative to Naruto. Their faces were a few inches apart, but his movement had forced them so close that their bodies were pressed flush together. With Naruto sandwiched between the wall and Sasuke’s body, he suddenly felt a deadly awareness of every muscle, every position, every nerve in both of their bodies. _His hand gripping Naruto’s shoulder. His fingers on Naruto’s lips. Naruto’s chest beneath his elbow. His right thigh in between Naruto’s._

Something fluttered deep in his stomach and he wished he could move, but he couldn’t risk it. Naruto seemed to realize the situation, too: he wasn’t struggling, just continuing to breathe shallow breaths as Sasuke gripped him roughly. 

Sasuke concentrated as best as he could on what was happening over at the South gate, that which had prompted him to take cover. After staring at its chakra signature for several tense seconds, he finally let go of Naruto and stepped back. 

“Sas—” Naruto began, incredulous; Sasuke held up a hand imperiously, shutting him down as he looked past them. 

“Stay down.” He hissed, trying to get a better vantage point. 

Naruto, for once, listened to him. 

“Just one of them,” he muttered, knowing Naruto was hanging onto his every word. “Ninja. Not Orochimaru’s. Looking for us. They don’t know we know they’re here.” 

“How strong?” 

“Don’t know,” Sasuke said. “...Less strong than the last.” 

“Where are they coming from?” Naruto asked. 

He pointed west, towards the other end of the alley.

“Sasuke,” Naruto suddenly spoke his name in a low, conspiratorial tone of voice. When his eyes flickered down to look at his friend Naruto was staring up at him unabashedly, clearly planning something. “Do you remember the town hall mission? When we were genin, and...” 

Sasuke sighed, immediately knowing what Naruo was referencing, then nodded. 

“We should stay here,” Naruto said. “Let them think they’ve got us.” 

Briefly, Sasuke met his companion’s eyes again. They were bright, standing out above his flushed cheeks and chest. In fact, as Sasuke’s gaze trailed downwards, he could see a purple bruise forming on Naruto’s shoulder where he had gripped the smaller man so tightly. A thrill went through him that he couldn’t explain, but he quickly got into position with no further ado. _I can’t afford to get distracted in the face of another attack._

Naruto followed suit, radiating excitement at the prospect of executing their plan, and then they waited. Sasuke began to count in his mind— the steps, the seconds, the timing of it all. He could sense the unknown nin approaching, even as they tried to conceal their chakra signature and move as stealthily as possible. Apprehension surged through him— _are they an enemy? Another mercenary? Will they be as strong as the last ones? Will our ambush work?_

Despite the thoughts running through his mind, Sasuke didn’t miss the instant their pursuer appeared at the head of the alley. He held his breath, waiting, waiting— in the span of two more inhales, the stranger had drawn their sword and started to move down the alley. 

The first thing Sasuke noted was the mask. A white mask with red markings, bearing the likeness of a wild cat. 

_Anbu?_

For a second, Sasuke hesitated. Konoha Anbu could be here for any number of reasons, especially seeing as this was a former site of enemy activity which now seemed to have several missing person cases on top of that. 

Naruto, however, did not wait to act. 

As the agent passed beneath them, moving cautiously and searching the alleyway with their tantou sword drawn, Naruto sprang down from his hiding spot on the roof of the house and tackled the agent. Sasuke, moving more out of instinct and memory than rational thought, jumped out from his spot on the opposite side and landed at their opponent’s head, knocking their weapon away. A brief tussle ensued, in which the agent’s balled-up first made contact with Sasuke’s ribcage, but he and Naruto’s forces combined made quick work of the ninja and soon they were completely restrained. 

Naruto roughly dragged the agent over to the wall and set them down so that they were sitting upright, slightly slumped to one side. Then, he crouched in front of them, squatting over their ankles. Behind them, Sasuke straightened up after picking up the abandoned tantou blade. 

As Sasuke watched, Naruto tore off the agent’s mask with no hesitation. The agent was a young woman with black hair: she glared up at them with baleful eyes, first at Naruto and then Sasuke. She seemed affronted by the fact that they had managed to catch her off-guard. Sasuke smirked. _No shinobi catches us by surprise so easily, Anbu or not._

He froze when Naruto spoke, voice tight with an anger Sasuke couldn’t quite place. “Are you Konoha Anbu?” he growled lowly. 

For a moment, the agent didn’t respond. Then, she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue. 

Branded upon it was a seal: a solid thing, with several thick lines running across the flesh. _A Curse Seal. Root._

Suddenly, Sasuke’s own chakra began to pulse with waves of anger similar to Naruto’s. Root was Danzou’s group— _Itachi’s murderers._

“Alright,” Naruto said, rocking back on his heels; for a second, Sasuke thought he was going to stand up, but then he pushed up his sleeve and gripped the agent’s collar, holding a fistful of her shirt so she was forced to look at him. 

“Naruto,” Sasuke warned, because the other shinobi was suddenly radiating anger as well, and _I don’t know what he’s doing but he shouldn’t get on the Village’s bad side, they’re probably already unhappy with him for leaving…_

Then he froze when he heard Naruto’s question. 

“Are you here for Sasuke?” he demanded roughly. 

_Why would Naruto assume that?_ Sasuke wondered. His first thought after seeing the agent hadn’t been in regards to himself. Konoha had agreed to leave him alone, hadn’t they? They had even sent Naruto, their best warrior, alongside him. _Surely they’re aware that Naruto by my side is better security than the Land of Fire’s most protected prison cell. So why is Naruto so inclined to assume that this agent is here for me? Unless he has reason to believe that they would send someone..._

Sasuke’s grip tightened on the hilt of the restrained agent’s sword at the thought, and he watched Naruto’s movements with a newfound sense of urgency. 

“Answer me,” Naruto was saying, still looking as if he was ready to resort to force. 

“Yes,” the agent finally muttered, still staring straight into Naruto’s eyes, which Sasuke was sure were blazing with anger. _Not many people are able to meet Naruto’s eyes when he is angry._

Naruto groaned in frustration. “Baa-chan _promised…”_

His voice suddenly grew much more intense. “What was your mission? What were you gonna do to Sasuke?” 

The agent was silent once again. Naruto shook her shoulders, but her lips remained closed.

She finally relented. “I— I was only supposed to follow him,” she said hoarsely. 

“You were assigned to tail Sasuke?” Naruto asked. He received a curt nod in return. “How long have you been following us for?” 

“I only caught up with you today,” she said. “I swear,” when Naruto looked as if he wasn’t convinced. 

“Who gave you your orders,” he asked darkly. 

The agent shook her head. 

Naruto snarled, then reached out a hand. “The sword, Sasuke,” he demanded. 

Sasuke stiffened. _I can’t let him get into trouble for my sake._ “Naruto,” he said quickly, crouching down to the other ninja’s level and tilting his head a certain way, making eye contact so as to be completely sure that his point was getting across. “You have to calm down.” 

Naruto bristled, then sighed. “They’re _following_ you. After I made Tsunade swear they wouldn’t.” 

“Maybe the Hokage didn’t order her,” Sasuke said. 

“Then why won’t she tell me who did?” 

“It could be the Seal.” 

Behind Naruto, the agent nodded quickly. 

Naruto shook his head, sounding sickened. “I forgot they gave you those things… damn Root bastards _.”_

Sasuke’s mouth was curved in distaste, but he found himself not too surprised by the situation. _It makes sense that someone in Konoha would be this angry at me. They were livid when Naruto talked me out of jail— I’m surprised they haven’t issued a warrant for my arrest._

Naruto didn’t seem to share the same sentiment. The outline of his chakra was softening slowly, smoothing the spikes it had previously been emitting, but it was still hot with anger. Sasuke smiled slightly. _Still so naive about some things._

“I still want the sword, Sasuke,” he muttered, turning back to the agent. 

Sasuke gave him a hard look but handed the weapon over. Naruto took it and held it in front of himself, pointing it straight at the agent’s throat. 

“Listen closely,” he said, “And remember every word I say. You’re going to go straight back to Konoha— no detours, understand?— and you’re going to tell whoever ordered you to go after Sasuke, whoever your boss is, that Uzumaki Naruto told you to leave Sasuke alone because _I’m_ the one assigned to him and I don’t need any of you sneaky Root bastards following us around like _vermin._ ” 

He dug the end of the blade into the agent’s throat without drawing blood. “Got it?” 

The agent nodded, seemingly trying to move her neck as little as possible. 

“I’ll let you go then,” Naruto said, standing up. “But if I catch one more of you within five kilometers of wherever we are, I’ll make my first act as the seventh Hokage to disband your shitty little organization.” 

The agent nodded again, furiously now that the sword had left her neck. Under the intensity of Naruto and Sasuke’s combined stares, she backed away. 

“Wait,” Sasuke suddenly called, a thought occurring to him. “Do you know what happened to the people of this town?” 

The agent met his eyes one last time, shrinking under the power his gaze radiated. She shook her head before bounding over the rooftops and out of sight.

Once she was gone, Sasuke slumped back against the alley wall. His head throbbed after using the Sharingan so intensely, a reminder of their previous encounter with enemies. _I guess we’re lucky this one was so easily taken care of,_ he thought. 

Naruto did not seem to share this sentiment. He was once again radiating anger that Sasuke couldn’t rationalize a cause for. “Let’s go,” he growled. 

Sasuke gave him a sideways glance. Part of him was taken aback at Naruto’s outburst towards the agent, but at the same time he knew this behavior wasn’t unfamiliar. _Naruto has little patience for those whose actions he believes to be unjustified_. 

What surprised him more to learn was the fact that Naruto had been so set against the methods of a shinobi of Konoha, the Village he was going to become Hokage of. After all, Sasuke could recall a time not too long ago when Naruto had seemingly been ready to die for the sake of the Village. 

This apparent contradiction was too much for Sasuke to think about at that moment, so he shut this train of thought down. 

As the two of them headed back towards the gate, they passed by the entrance to where the outpost was.. or rather, where it should have been. Sasuke halted when he peered down the staircase and saw that the door had been completely blocked off by a pile of rubble. 

Naruto silently kept watch as Sasuke walked halfway down the staircase and inspected the wreckage. 

He noted the lack of destruction in the surrounding area, as well as the neatness of the top half of the staircase. Evidently, this place had been sealed up on purpose, though whether it had been done by people in the village or the presumed invader there was no way of knowing. _Damn,_ Sasuke thought, bracing himself before activating his Sharingan for the second time that day. 

But his enhanced sight flickered and died, and his head exploded with a now-familiar pain. 

Sasuke grunted and dropped to his knees, taking in deep breaths as he stopped the flow of chakra to his eyes. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto exclaimed as he came rushing down the staircase. “What’s wrong?” 

“It’s nothing,” Sasuke grimaced. “Just my head, I still can’t—” He was frustrated. He was fairly sure he had seen something just before his sight failed, but now there was no way to be sure. 

“You’re overusing it,” Naruto said gently, before his voice hardened. “Because of those _bastards_.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke bit out. “Last time I checked, I’m still the only one between the two of us who has the Sharingan. There’s something here, and that’s our only lead right now. So be quiet, and let me try again. You’re giving me a headache.” 

“Oh, _I’m_ giving you a headache,” Naruto said, sounding more worried than angry. He continued more gently: “We don’t have a choice right now, Sasuke. Let’s just keep going… Maybe we could even stay outside town and then come back tomorrow?” 

“It’s not safe,” Sasuke muttered. “We still don’t know what happened here. Whoever did this could come back.” 

“Then we’ll question _them,_ ” Naruto said, his eyes gleaming with expectation. 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “Just give me a moment.” 

“Idiot, you’re still healing. Don’t make me knock you out! Your chakra is _fried,_ ” Naruto said. 

“My chakra...” Sasuke said. _It’s not my chakra, exactly. That assassin only affected my Sharingan— he probably did something to my nerves. As long as my chakra is coming from its usual source, it won’t—_

An idea suddenly occurred to him, and he looked up. 

“What is it?” Naruto asked, on alert. 

“I would be able to use my Sharingan if I had chakra from a different source.” 

“So?”

Sasuke stalwartly avoided eye contact for reasons he refused to think about. “Naruto, could you lend me some of your chakra?” 

Naruto looked momentarily confused, then caught on. “Oh!” he exclaimed. “You think I could help kickstart your Sharingan with my Chakra Sharing technique?” 

Sasuke shook his head slightly at Naruto’s crude phrasing, but agreed. “I think it will work.” 

“Then let’s do it!” Naruto said, his eyes sparkling with excitement. 

Sasuke shook his head. “You look much too enthusiastic about this,” he grumbled. “I just need a little.” 

“That’s fine,” Naruto reassured him, hopping down two more stairs and sitting down next to Sasuke. “Right now?” 

“When else, dumbass,” Sasuke grumbled without bite. 

“You’re sure this won’t hurt your eyes?” Naruto asked. 

“It’ll be fine,” Sasuke said slowly, looking up at Naruto. “As far as I know.” 

His words hung in the air between them; Naruto was looking at him strangely all of the sudden. He was staring, deeply and without reservation, eyes alight under the afternoon sun. Sasuke felt it again— the strange truce they had reached after their disastrous first few days on the road together, this new and awkward peace they were both so unused to. He wasn’t sure whether these _looks_ they sometimes shared were a part of that or stemming from something else entirely; although if the latter were the case, he would truly have no idea what to think. 

“Naruto,” he asked, “What are you doing, idiot?” trying to return to the casual antagonism that was most comfortable to them. 

Naruto shook himself, blinking rapidly and tearing his eyes away. His cheeks looked faintly red— Sasuke wondered if he was still tired after the fight earlier. 

“Right!” Naruto said with sudden enthusiasm, and then he placed his hand over Sasuke’s without further ado. 

That familiar shock of electricity raced through his system; he felt it every time Naruto’s chakra spiked, but now the energy was amplified across the surface of his skin. 

Naruto nodded at him, and that’s when he closed his eyes and began to channel his chakra in earnest. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha they have to hold hands lol gay 
> 
> this was a slightly more plot-heavy chapter, but our boys had a couple tense moments as well, didn't they? please let me know what you think!!


	8. Too Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mysteries begin to unravel themselves as Naruto and Sasuke find several clues in Echoing Valley Town by working together. But Sasuke still isn't prepared to share some parts of his life with Naruto...

At first, Sasuke felt nothing, and he briefly wondered whether he and Naruto had retained their ability to share chakra after the war, or if only shadows of that ability remained. 

A moment later, every node in his body flared with light, as if alerting his systems to the foreign power which was seeping through his senses. Sasuke had shared chakra with Naruto before, and had felt it used against him many more times than that, but this was different. This signature was falling slowly into him, searching out his own power and melding with it. As peaceful as its intention was, it was also overwhelming. A shockwave of heat surged through him, and for a terrifying second Sasuke had a vision of true connection; he felt as if he was teetering on the edge of being known. 

The signal evened out a heartbeat later, and after a short struggle with his memory, Sasuke remembered what they were doing. My eyes, he thought, and then sent the hot chakra towards them in a motion he knew so well. 

There was no semblance of the terrible headache he had given himself last time he had tried to use the Sharingan: Naruto’s chakra smoothed every edge and warmed every chill, making the process just a little easier and blocking out the pain. Much quicker than usual, Sasuke’s eyesight bled into enhancement and he looked around at their surroundings. 

Immediately, he saw he had been right to investigate. Behind the pile of rubble at the bottom of the stairs, the entrance to the outpost was glowing bright red, indicating various seals and markers belonging to different powerful groups who had once had a presence here. Orochimaru, Akatsuki, a well-known rebel faction from Amegakure, and… _Konoha’s Root._

“Danzo,” Sasuke muttered, and he stood up and walked towards the entrance. Naruto followed him. 

“What?” he asked, hushed. 

“This was an outpost,” Sasuke explained. “A lot of people have been here, including Orochimaru… and Danzo. Or at least some Root agents.” 

“But we can’t get in anymore, right?” Naruto said. 

Sasuke grimaced. “No, I don’t think we can.” He couldn’t see through the rubble, but from the chakra patterns inside he could get a rough picture of the interior. “It’s partially caved in or buried, and there’s nothing left there anyway.” He sighed in frustration. _This was our last chance in this town._

“So, Root?” Naruto asked. “Damn, I wish we had kept that agent with us. Maybe she could have told us something.” 

“I doubt she would have,” Sasuke muttered, thinking back to the seal on her tongue. He held back a shudder.

“Wait!” Naruto suddenly called, reaching behind him and picking something off the ground. “What about her sword?” 

Sasuke spun around with a disbelieving expression, meaning to ask Naruto what a sword of all things could possibly do, but froze abruptly when he saw it.

Naruto was standing a few steps above, holding the Tantou sword aloft, and Sasuke’s eyes widened as he took in the sight. 

To the naked eye, there was nothing significant about the blade. It was a standard-issue, part of the uniform. But under the light of the Sharingan, normally invisible pathways carved down the length of the sword’s blade were glowing a bright, luminous red. Sasuke could see lines, and symbols, and a compass on one end… 

“Naruto,” he breathed, and he quickly moved towards the other man. 

“What is it?” Naruto asked, confused. 

“The sword… I think it’s a map, or a key of some kind.” 

“Wait, really?” Naruto said, scratching his head. Then he grinned. “Oh, I knew that! That’s why I gave it to you. You’re welcome!”

Sasuke ignored him and took the sword, holding it out in front of him and trying to read the etchings on the blade. It wasn’t like any map he had ever seen: the symbols were strange, and the shape of the blade meant that everything marked on it was not pictured in proper relation to each other. 

His Sharingan began to flicker, and he frowned. 

Naruto was watching him carefully and evidently noticed his difficulties. “Here,” he said, and gently took Sasuke’s hand. 

Something his grip might have been distracting, but Sasuke was too focused on the map to think about it at that moment. 

His gaze was drawn towards one of the points, which seemed to be glowing brighter than the others. If his instincts were right, it was in the north quadrant of the map, but he couldn’t identify any other information. 

He told Naruto as much, and the blonde swore under his breath. “Sounds like Danzo, alright,” he said. 

Sasuke’s mouth twisted. _You have no idea._

Turning around to face the entrance, he saw motion out of the corner of his eye. “Wait,” he hissed, “One of the points is blinking.” 

“Blinking?” Naruto asked. “You mean the sword is picking up on something?” 

Sasuke raised his head at that. “Of course,” he breathed out. “Naruto, you’re right.” 

“Yeah, I know I am!” Naruto shouted. “Wait, what did I say again?” 

Sasuke moved back down the stairs towards the entrance, holding the sword in front of him. His vision was beginning to fade again, so he thoughtlessly grabbed Naruto’s hand and dragged the other man behind him, ignoring his protests. 

He carefully watched the sword as he moved, and a thrill of satisfaction filled him as he found Naruto’s idea to be correct. The sword was reacting to the Danzo’s chakra seal on the buried entrance. 

“The map shows places associated with Root,” he realized out loud. Even better, he realized that there was another point on the map very close to this one. 

“Does this mean we can find the hideout we were looking for?” Naruto asked. 

“I think so,” Sasuke said, tearing his eyes away from the map and looking back up at his companion. “There’s something else very close by, and I think that might be it. We can probably go there now.” 

“Then what are we waiting for?” Naruto asked. “Let’s go find it.” 

He started up the staircase, leaving Sasuke behind: the second he did, Sasuke’s headache began to creep up on him again and his vision began to darken. 

“Wait,” he bit out, and Naruto did. 

“What is it?” 

Sasuke hesitated. “Could you... keep lending me chakra?” he asked, not meeting Naruto’s eyes. 

Naruto’s eyes widened in understanding, and he moved back over to Sasuke. “Y-yeah,” he said quietly. 

“Thank you,” Sasuke said stiffly. 

Naruto took Sasuke’s one remaining hand in his right, his grip more gentle than it had been previously and his fingers slotting between Sasuke’s. “Let’s go,” he said. 

Sasuke coughed slightly. “Yes,” he replied, and then they quickly set off, leaving the town behind them. 

They moved quickly towards the West gate, with none of the stealth they had prioritized earlier. The streets of Echoing Valley Town, which had previously seemed oppressive and filled with hidden intent, now felt completely harmless. So Naruto and Sasuke hurried through them, unaffected by the silence and emptiness. 

Sasuke’s vision waxed and waned as Naruto continued to share his chakra. “Focus,” he forced out between breaths. 

Naruto gave him a sideways glance before squeezing his hand as he strengthened the connection. Sasuke felt an urge to glare at the other man for some reason, but resumed his focus on their route instead. 

Their route led them out of town and through the forest at the base of the hills lining this side of the valley. The vegetation was dense and dark, but the two of them moved quickly and efficiently, the way they had been trained to all those years ago. This was the swiftest they had moved in almost a week, since Sasuke’s injury. Although unspoken, they relished this feeling of speed and freedom, the ability to move as shinobi move. Sasuke could feel Naruto’s chakra reveling in the spirit of action, matching his own energy. 

For a moment, he felt strange— almost as if he had suddenly found himself in a genjutsu. There was a minute shift in reality and he was overwhelmed with a sudden feeling of _rightness_ , as if he momentarily had everything he wanted and was satisfied with it. This feeling came to him as he flew between the trees, Sharingan eyes dyeing the forest red with hunt and Naruto by his side, directing his energy into this vision. 

Then a dark shape appeared in the distance, and the feeling fled as soon as it had arrived. A look down at the sword revealed that this was the site of Danzo’s lair, the red light blinking threateningly. 

Sasuke slowed down, and Naruto did the same without a word. They looked ahead together, peering through the forest. 

At the base of the hill, the forest cleared and a rock face sloped from between grassy banks on either side. It was unremarkable at first but Sasuke, used to such hideouts, immediately saw the telltale signs of an entrance. A cursory sweep with the Sharingan revealed nothing and he moved forward, nodding at Naruto and finally letting go of his hand. He discreetly wiped his own hand on his pants— more out of instinct than anything else, he assured himself. 

The two nin moved forward, quietly but not too slowly, as it seemed apparent that this hideout was quite abandoned. Unsurprisingly, Sasuke thought. Danzo must have been very secretive about his lairs: I doubt many in Konoha know of this place, and even if they do they would be hesitant to come here after his death. 

At the entrance, they both paused and looked at each other. 

“After you,” Naruto said jokingly, though not entirely at ease. 

Sasuke stilled. “Actually…” he began. _Now that we’re here, I’m not sure what to tell him._ He reflexively wiped his sweaty hand on his pants. 

The truth was that from the very beginning, Sasuke had intended to embark on this stage of his journey alone. What lay beyond that entrance was personal, and the secrets hidden within may not have even been intended for his eyes. 

The events of the last several days, however, had only convinced him even further. And as he surveyed Naruto’s face, written with the same carefulness as it did whenever they discussed the attack, or whenever Sasuke showed signs of suffering from his wounds. Once again, familiar guilt surfaced within him. _Just like yesterday, he’s obviously worried. But he is too stubborn to tell me his true feelings._

Sasuke cleared his throat. “Naruto,” he began. 

Naruto furrowed his brow slightly. “Yeah?” 

“Remember… The night before we left, I asked that you didn’t ask any questions.” Sasuke’s voice was flat, emotionless. 

His companion nodded, still frowning. 

Sasuke exhaled slowly. “I should do this alone.” 

Naruto’s reaction was immediate. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Isn’t it dangerous, going in there alone? You’re still hurt, and your eyes—” 

“I would have done it anyway,” Sasuke pointed out stiffly. Quieter: “I would have done all of this alone.” 

“And how would that have gone for you?” Naruto asked, clearly somewhat offended. “I’m pretty sure I’ve saved your ass a couple of times already.” 

“So have I,” Sasuke bit back. The old tension between them was being stirred up again, bitter and ugly. Sasuke grimaced at the feeling. _This is how things are between us, after all. Maybe everything else really is just a front._

“Well, sorry if I’m wrong for thinking you shouldn’t go into a murderer’s lair by yourself, without your Sharingan…” Naruto’s stance had widened, and he was full-on glaring at Sasuke by now. 

His face twisted at Naruto’s reference to murder, and when he next spoke, he kept his voice perfectly sharp and enunciated. “This is my mission,” he said, “My journey. I let you accompany me, and travel by my side. But my request from the beginning of this journey still stands.” 

Naruto took a step toward him, something deep and wild and wet in his eyes. “You said you wouldn’t leave,” he said, and then his breath hitched. “You _promised_.”

There was a strange note in Naruto’s voice as he said this; with a start, Sasuke remembered gasps for air, lungs having to be taught how to breathe again. A voice: “You always leave.” More tears than those eyes should ever have to shed. 

He hesitated, resolve slipping for just a second. Then he thought of Danzo the murderer, whose filthy secrets hid in this lair; Itachi, the brother who had saved his life and ruined it; and his clan, the people whose loss had changed him forever. He also thought of the assassins, the Root agent, everyone after Sasuke who was now also putting Naruto in danger. 

_The pain and ugliness only I know. I don’t want Naruto to learn to read it too._

These terrible thoughts steeled him, bringing him a cruel strength far too easily, and he smiled grimly as he looked Naruto straight in the eye and said his next words. 

“Oh, Naruto,” Sasuke said. “I told you I wouldn’t leave, and I’m not. But I never said _you_ couldn’t. And if you try to follow me, I will make you go away.” 

He squared his shoulders and hardened his gaze. “I’m going in alone.” 

For an instant, he was sure Naruto was going to fight him. His eyes flashed red, and Sasuke could have sworn he snarled. 

But then the other man stood down, rubbing his arm and still regarding Sasuke darkly. “Only because I promised,” he said, “And because you did, too. But if you’re not out of there by dawn, I’m coming after you.” 

Sasuke nodded curtly, turning around as soon as he looked at Naruto’s pained expression for one second too long. Trying hard not to remember it, he braced himself and moved forward into the hillside entrance.

It was as dark and still as a crypt inside the hideout. Sasuke fumbled for his knapsack and pulled out a torch. The flickering flames revealed a narrow stone passageway, sloping downwards into the earth. 

He felt Naruto’s eyes on him as he entered but ignored it, instead focusing on what lay ahead. However, this didn’t bring him much more comfort: as much as he hated to admit it, the idea of walking into a place so imbued with Danzo’s presence and intent was setting him on edge. 

Danzo’s dead, he reminded himself, only to be nearly overwhelmed by a flood of images suddenly crowding his mind’s eye, mostly of himself murdering Danzo in a rather graphic and bloody way. 

Sasuke quickened his pace. _Let’s just get this over with._

As he walked, he considered his options. _Danzo’s office will probably be at the center of the hideout_ , he thought, thinking of similar hideouts he had been to in the past. For a second, he was surprised at how relatively certain he was of what to expect in a place such as this. _I’m glad Naruto isn’t here to see this_ , he thought grimly. _I don’t think I want him to see how much I know_. This knowledge, though useful now, was tied up with shame for his former life, before the War. _It’s best neither of us are reminded of that._

He began to carefully check the surfaces of the tunnel for any kinds of traps. Knowing Danzo, there would be some in place. Momentarily, he wished he had his Sharingan— perhaps he should have let Naruto accompany him, after all. But he resolutely quelled that idea. In this situation, having Naruto by his side was sure to do no good… right? 

_Maybe if he was here, seeing the proof of my former life, he would finally give up on me._

Sasuke snorted derisively. Naruto had chased him down, talking to him with first words and then, when that failed, his fists and feet. His friend had spent his youth roaming the world and finding the strength to show Sasuke that he was just that, a friend. He had tied this strange quest in with his dream of becoming Hokage somehow, and never given up on that since. At the time, Sasuke hadn’t thought much of this: blinded by his own goals of brutal self-destruction, on a perpendicular course to Naruto’s, he had assumed Naruto was only chasing after an idea, a shining hero, a version of him which had never existed and never would. But during the War, when their respective powers had grown beyond measure while intertwined and even receiving bodily marks as proof of their bond, Sasuke had been forced to realize that Naruto did understand him, at least to some extent. He knew Sasuke, and for some reason, he was still hellbent on getting him back. 

And it wasn’t as if Sasuke hadn’t tried his damndest to stop this, too. After realizing Naruto knew him better than he thought, he had challenged his longtime rival to a duel, their second fraught battle at the Final Valley, the place which had haunted his dreams for years both during the day and at night. And just like that first time, he had gone into the fight with the intent to kill. To destroy this collision course he and Naruto were on once and for all, to end Naruto’s life while self-destructing in a glorious show of power and flame that only an Uchiha could call forth. 

But that didn’t work, Sasuke recalled. He snorted again. _If that idiot is still following me around after seeing all of that, I doubt that me having a little too much knowledge of an outlaw’s hideout would faze him._

Something suspiciously like guilt bubbled to the surface as he remembered the expression he had left on Naruto’s face as he went in alone and the words he had spoken just seconds before that. He shrugged the feeling away and continued to move forward. 

He moved cautiously down the hall, which sloped further into the mountain at a steady incline. There were a few traps along the way; most were pretty standard, though one or two seemed to be specifically geared towards doujutsu users, much to Sasuke’s apprehension. _Maybe not having the Sharingan is an advantage right now. Trust Danzo to defend against us._

 _...Against me_ , he realized with a sickening feeling, as he remembered that nearly every other Sharingan eye had in fact been implanted in Danzo’s arm. 

Eventually, he reached what seemed to be a central chamber of sorts. Five more tunnels branched off from the round room, and there was a stairwell leading down at the center. 

Sasuke scoffed internally. _Too easy._ He had never encountered a main office on the first floor of a hideout; usually, there were too many distractions, as well as more of a safety hazard. Still, Sasuke allowed himself room for suspicion. _This looks predictable,_ he thought darkly. Yet again, he struggled to keep himself from being trapped in bitter recollection. But Danzo was capable of hiding many things. 

Regardless, he decided to go with his knowledge and gut instinct for now. _I’ll get this over with quickly so that blonde idiot has no reason to come charging in after me._

Sasuke warily approached the central stairwell, a gaping maw leading deeper into the earth, and carefully began his descent. 

Nothing happened until a few steps down, when a large metal spike was suddenly launched from the far wall, narrowly missing his head. 

He jumped as it smashed somewhere behind him, only to have to swerve to avoid a second projectile. _Now would be a good time to have my Sharingan,_ he thought, then cut the thought off as he remembered how uncomfortable it would be to have to hold Naruto’s hand for a prolonged period of time. 

At that, Sasuke began to run down the stairs, dodging a new missile with each step. He unsheathed his katana, striking bolts out of the air when he could reach them. Stone and metal flew through the air around him as he hurried down as fast as he could. 

_This has to be it,_ Sasuke thought triumphantly. _I’m surprised there weren’t more traps, honestly,_ as he performed an elaborate spinning maneuver to avoid one of the trickier bolts. 

A few moments later, Sasuke had made it downstairs with nothing more than a new scuff on his boots to show for it. Having arrived, he straightened up and looked ahead. The hallway before him was wide, wider than any of the ones he had seen so far, and had a low, arched ceiling that was lined entirely with cobblestones. Several alcoves were lining the walls, but what caught Sasuke’s attention the most was at the end of the hallway: a large and ominous double door, made out of finely carved wood. 

He smirked, victorious. _Not even Danzo, head of Root, could forgo vanity to better hide himself._

The triumph didn’t detract from his wariness, however, and he approached the door with careful footwork and keen eyesight he had made use of throughout. 

The door swung open with little sound or resistance. Behind was, as Sasuke had expected, an office. The room was lined with bookshelves, which were protected by metal gates padlocked shut. A long desk stood in the middle of the room, abandoned and covered in a layer of dust. 

Sasuke surveyed the room with the air of a dark conqueror. Nothing of Danzo’s was now safe from Sasuke’s revenge: neither his life nor his secrets. 

He strode towards the closest shelf, disarming the padlock with a single blow from his katana. Fortunately, there were no sealing jutsus on the shelves: evidently, Danzo was not the only one who had made use of this space, so his security measures had not been too high level. 

Browsing the shelves, Sasuke picked up any files which seemed to have information pertaining to Konoha and its people. But what he was truly looking for was something much more specific. 

After perhaps an hour of searching, he stumbled upon a section that appeared to contain information on old Root missions assignments. Sasuke’s heart began to beat faster in his chest, and he scanned the shelves. He started at the bottom and moved upwards, going back in time as he read. The years flashed before his eyes, decreasing in number as he tried to find the right one. 

There, he suddenly thought, finger freezing in midair save for a tremor he could not explain. 

He moved decisively, snatching a thick folder from the shelf and turning it over.

A single phrase was written on the cover: his stomach lurched with a cocktail of emotions as he read it.

_Uchiha Itachi._

_Found you_ , he thought, the adrenaline ebbing and making place for a much darker anticipation as he began to imagine the possibilities of what this report might contain. 

Slowly, he moved over to one of the desks, sank into a chair, then flipped over the first page. 

_Subject Statement,_ the headline read, and Sasuke realized with a shock that he was reading his dead brother’s words: words from many years ago, which he had never heard before. 

Clamping his jaw, he settled down and began to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sasuke was so flustered by them holding hands that he went off by himself... obviously there's more to it than that, but he's still an idiot.  
> what did you guys think? was it understandable of sasuke to face his pain alone, or does he owe naruto more than that? and what do you think is in itachi's file, hmm? 
> 
> please let me know this and more in the comments, or on twitter @sasugayuchlha :) thank you, and see you next week!


	9. Something I Saw Made Me Like This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On a personal quest to find documents to incriminate Danzo and his accomplices, Sasuke finds a file on Itachi. How will he react to his contents, and how will he reconcile with Naruto after being so determined to keep everything to himself?

_ I have to get out of here.  _

There was a terror inside him, rising up from the darkest corners of his mind with dark power and intent. Its wings were his fears; its limbs were his shame; its head was his hatred; its heart was his own. It approached him as he stood frozen in place, opened its monstrous mouth and, with a multitude of every voice he had ever hated, told him to  _ run.  _

_ I have to get out of here.  _

He reached out suddenly, seizing the files he had collected and tucking them into his jacket. He stood from his chair; its wooden legs scraped loudly over the flagstone floor, but the sound seemed far away and ill-recorded. Then his dull eyes blinked towards the door on the other side of the room. It seemed so far away, every flagstone separating it and him a field of deadly mire. When he tried to take a step forward despite this, his legs felt as if they were made of stone. He misstepped rather badly on his foot; when he looked down, his ankle was twisted strangely. But he felt absolutely nothing. 

_ I have to get out of here.  _

He had no rational reason to start moving: it was fear, and fear alone, which prompted him to start towards the exit. He burst forth from the room, and the door was left hanging wide open behind him. Briefly, at the foot of the steps, he paused: there could be traps here, he knew, and they were dangerous. But it was more dangerous still to stay where he was, so he abandoned all presence of mind and began to mount the steps three at a time. 

By the time he realized there were no more traps after all, he was already at the top. Five identical passageways confronted him, and for a terrifying moment he could not recall which one he had come from. His heartbeat filled the cavernous hall, and hideous mockery seemed to come from every direction. He twisted his head, as if attempting to physically dislodge his confusion and doubt, and for a moment he could see again. He determined the correct hall, and ran down it as a man trying to escape the horrors of hell, even as he recognized the futility of his attempted escape. 

The hallway was much too long, he felt as if it would never end. Still, he continued to move, because there was only one command on his mind, a single urge to which he had relinquished control of his limbs and mind. 

_ I have to get out of here.  _

Eventually, the floor of the tunnel leveled out and the exit was in sight. He expelled himself into the outdoors, blinking at the sudden light and taking deep lungfuls of air as the forest swam before him. It was better outside: the terror had taken a brief respite, and the sight of the sun reminded him of the existence of light. 

Still, it wasn’t good enough. The moment one urge was satisfied, a new one took its place. Everything was still not right—  _ maybe it never would be _ . But he felt that if he continued to follow these instincts, if he at least tried to work towards peace, his torment might be eased a little. 

This new level of urgency was telling him to climb. To escape; to see more; to rise above the shadows, the fear, the truth, his very self. Everything inside him was screaming, begging on its knees for this release.

And so he moved robotically, jerking his head first right and then left, freezing when he located a trail leading up the hillside. 

He didn’t even have time to breathe before being dragged towards the path. For a moment, he was free from his body: he was not being moved by his muscles, bones, or ligaments. What was propelling him forward was the simple fire in his blood, the fire trying to burn away that dark terror inside. The fire needed more oxygen, and demanded he rise in order to gain it. 

He watched his feet, stumbling as the steps carried him upwards. His eyes took in the heaviness of each footfall, the imprints of his boots in the mud, and the way he was causing little stones to roll down the incline with every step. All of this he saw, and yet he did not know. He couldn’t feel any of it: nothing that he saw was registered by his flesh, so how could he trust either it or his eyes? 

Those cursed eyes might be powerful but his body was his own, less touched by dark hereditary power. And yet what difference did that make? The shadow and the flame inside him were his own too, yet they were always relentlessly competing to destroy him through fear or escapism. 

_ Maybe destruction is what defines me.  _

These thoughts flew past him as he moved up the hillside, still fleeing from hell and now vainly straining towards heaven. 

Eventually, he reached the summit of the hill. As he took in the long grass, waving in the wind and glowing orange under the light of a dying sun, he received another brief moment of clarity. Then he approached the edge, looked out over the valley, and all sense of respite was devoured by the clamor of memory. 

Because from here, he could see. The forest, the hills, and the village a few miles away. 

_ The forest, the hills, and the village a few miles away.  _

_ He spent so many afternoons here, gazing down upon this view between or after training exercises. Tuesday, Sunday, and any other afternoon possible. The forest meant peace, the hills meant strength, the village meant home.  _

_ And the view meant Itachi.  _

_ Because he never came here alone, he was always with his brother. They would train here together when no one else had any business with either of them. That’s what made this place special: it was somewhere just for the two of them. This was the one place he was never alone. This was a place he solely had good memories of. This was a place which time could never touch.  _

_ This place was a feeling which had been taken from him forever.  _

A faraway cry interrupted him suddenly: he froze, wondering what was invading his surroundings. His heart began to thump more audibly than ever, warning him.  _ Please,  _ he thought,  _ Don’t stain this place, too.  _

The cry came again. It sounded distressed, and he closed his eyes.  _ I have no bad memories attached to this place.  _

“Sasuke,” he heard, and he started. Who would be calling for him here? Who knew where he was? 

Suddenly, the scene before him began to flicker.  _ It was high afternoon _ . It was sunset _. There wasn’t a cloud in sight _ . It was partially overcast. _ His brother was with him _ . No one was with him. 

_ Please,  _ he thought, as the memory began to die, but it was already gone. 

A sense of deep loss filled him suddenly, quenching both flame and shadow inside him as if they were nothing, as if they weren’t forces powerful enough to control him whenever they wished. The loss filled not only their places in his mind but also his body. It sank into his very bones, into his eyes and his heart, and he wished for nothing more than to be able to rip himself away from this heaviness. 

But he remained painfully attached to its weight, and his knees buckled. 

“Sasuke,” he heard, loud and real. 

_ Reality,  _ he recognized,  _ that is where this loss comes from. This is the weight I always carry. This is nothing new.  _

As much as the terror in his mind had made him fear, and the fire had made him uncontrolled and trapped him in the past, he thought that perhaps this burden was more terrible than either of them. 

But with recognition of reality came realization of his surroundings, and also the other person within them. 

Naruto was there, and he was calling Sasuke’s name.  _ He has been this whole time,  _ Sasuke realized,  _ he has seen everything, _ and then on top of the loss came the insurmountable weight of shame. Trapped under this new mountain, he fought against the urge to collapse on his knees.  _ I didn’t want him to see this,  _ he thought helplessly.  _ This is why I should be alone.  _

“Naruto,” he said, because he did not even know where to begin.  _ This is what you keep from him at all times,  _ he chided himself,  _ forgetting about it momentarily is no reason to become weak now.  _

“Sasuke!” his friend’s voice cried out, and then Naruto was filling his vision, separating him from the view of the valley which was leading him back into memory and dragging him back into his body completely. 

“What happened? Are you hurt?” he asked, concern dripping from his voice and chakra, and Sasuke wished it wouldn’t. 

“I’m—” he began, and then gasped as a sharp pain shot up his ankle, the one he had twisted after standing up. Several other smaller pains followed this one— all small wounds he had evidently not felt until now. 

“What is it?” Naruto asked. “Where there traps? You aren’t poisoned, right?” his mouth dropped open in shock. 

Sasuke shook his head, “No,” he said. “I’m not hurt.” 

Naruto’s shoulders visibly sagged in relief. “I thought you were wounded,” he murmured, “Sasuke, you really scared me there for a moment.” Something dark and sad filled his eyes. 

“You went in alone again, and then when you came out you went off by yourself. I thought you...” 

He trailed off, and something terrible tugged at Sasuke’s heart as he studied Naruto’s expression. It was the same one his companion had worn when Sasuke had entered the hideout alone, and resembled the one he had worn on that terrible night barely two weeks ago. 

With that, Sasuke knew he had regained the full weight of his daily burden. Loss, shame, and guilt: they had all returned to him at last.

“We need to talk about this,” Naruto declared suddenly, his voice much stronger than before. “I know I told you no questions, but I never agreed to no answers.” 

Sasuke shifted uncomfortably. Part of him knew Naruto was right, but he also feared he might not be able to bear it. So even though Naruto was not letting him run, he attempted to evade him by using his words. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said. 

As expected, Naruto did not accept this answer. He frowned. “I told you I’d wait, and I have,” he said seriously. “You know I’m not very patient, but when it comes to you I always have been.” 

The reference to his past actions sent another spike of guilt through Sasuke’s core, and he looked away resolutely. “I left Konoha to forget about the past, Naruto,” he said, choking slightly on his words. “Stop reminding me of it.”

“You didn’t really though, did you?” Naruto asked, challenging. “You’re always thinking about the past. Why is talking about it so different?” 

“That’s not the  _ point, _ ” Sasuke hissed, rounding on him. 

Naruto didn’t falter. “Then what is it?” 

“I—” Sasuke was breathless, and he didn’t know what to say. _I don’t want to talk about it with you._ _You understand too much._

The truth was, Sasuke wasn’t even sure whether he’d be able to hold an open conversation with Naruto. He was sure to either explode with anger to cover everything else up, or to apologize and apologize and keep on apologizing until his teeth rotted and his lips shriveled because there was nothing else he could do,  _ I’m sorry, Naruto, I’m so sorry,  _ that was all he could say but it would never be enough.

So he said nothing. Instead he just stood there, standing across from Naruto and staring at him as the wind blew through their hair and the grass around them, and the sun began to sink behind the hills at the far edge of the valley. 

In the past, the tense air between them might have been crackling with the anticipation of a battle, or at least a shouting match. This time, however, Sasuke felt something different between the two of them. Rather than animosity, he only felt pain. And Naruto… his friend was radiating nothing but warmth. 

Even as the chill breeze tempered his pain, sharpening its edges, Naruto’s warmth was breaking it down and rounding the corners.  _ Oh,  _ Sasuke thought simply, and he could not help but relax his stance minisculely. 

“What happened in there, huh?” Naruto asked quietly, unmoving in both body and energy. 

Sasuke looked away. He thought of the dank air of Danzo’s lair, and the files stashed underneath his cloak. He thought of their contents, and the memories they had brought back. He thought of Naruto, and wished the man in front of him had no desire to know him or understand his grief. 

_ There’s some darkness I hope you never understand,  _ he thought. 

But suddenly, as if in answer to his unspoken thought, Sasuke’s attention was drawn to Naruto’s chakra. It was radiating warmth and light, but within that was also understanding, knowledge, acknowledgment of pain. 

Sasuke inhaled sharply and returned his gaze to Naruto’s face. His friend was still looking at him, expression completely open and at peace. 

“You don’t have to tell me all the details, you know,” Naruto said, “I know that’s hard to do. But I just want to know some of it, so I can make sure you’re alright.” 

And, despite the part of him which was screaming derision and distrust at deafening volumes, Sasuke believed him.

“I found a file on Itachi,” he confessed. “A comprehensive report of his mission thirteen years ago: to murder every member of the Uchiha clan, and then vanish from Konoha for life.” 

“So it’s true,” Naruto breathed. “That bastard really ordered him to…” 

Sasuke nodded. “There were statements from him, too,” he said, not really sure why he was revealing more but now unable to stop himself. “All these impartial-sounding words about the  _ importance of the mission  _ and his  _ honor as an agent of the Root.”  _

He shook his head. “I… I read them all in his voice. And I know that he didn’t mean a single one of those words because behind them, he was hiding the heaviest pain of all.” 

Naruto breathed in deeply, inhaling the horror of his words. Something inside Sasuke cringed at the mere idea of Naruto taking something like this in. 

“Do… Do you forgive him?” Naruto asked, hesitating slightly. 

Sasuke thought about the question for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally confessed. “He mentioned me in his statement, and I know that… he cared for me. But still, he took my family away.” 

The truth coated the inside of his mouth with a bitter taste he wished he would ever be able to forget. “I miss him? I miss him so much. But if he was here right now, I’m not sure what I’d say to him first.” 

They were both silent for a moment. Behind Naruto, the sun had finally sunk behind the hills. Its dying rays still illuminated the treeline: from here, the backlit treetops looked like tongues of flame dancing on the crest. 

Eventually, Naruto sighed and sat down on a large, flat rock that lay next to where he had been standing. After a short moment, Sasuke moved to join him and they took in the view side by side. 

“Ero-sennin… Jiraiya… He was my godfather, you know,” Naruto said a few moments later. 

Sasuke stayed silent, letting him tell his story. 

“He was good friends with my dad, so he heard about my parents’ deaths, and about me. But even though he knew all that, he never visited Konoha to see me, not even once. I was named after a character from one of his novels, and he didn’t even try to see if I was alright. He was my godfather, but I didn’t meet him until I was eleven.” Naruto chuckled ruefully. “And that was completely by accident. But… I still have a lot of great memories with him. And I miss him a lot now that he’s gone.” 

He sighed, then stretched his legs out next to Sasuke’s. “I guess what I’m saying is, sometimes you can care about someone and still acknowledge the things they did wrong. It’s not always as simple as either loving someone or not, especially for people like us.” 

“People like us?” Sasuke asked. 

“You know,” Naruto said quietly. “The lonely ones.” 

Something swelled inside him at that moment, as if his heart was being simultaneously broken and healed, just slightly. Once again, he considered the similarities and differences between him and Naruto. As much as he perpetually feared tainting his friend with his own darkness, he often failed to remember that Naruto already carried his own. 

At another place and another time, this comparison might have started a fight between them. Sasuke would be adamant that Naruto was incapable of understanding him, while Naruto would do anything to prove that he already did. 

Now, years later, Sasuke found nothing but truth in Naruto’s acknowledgment of their similarities. There was an understanding between them now, one which could quite possibly never be broken no matter how hard either of them fought against it. 

Sasuke could not stop himself from making yet another confession. “I wish he had left me with more closure.” 

Naruto turned towards him, perhaps surprised at this sudden statement, but showing nothing else than empathy and understanding. “Yeah, that makes sense,” he said. Then he hummed, as if he had had a sudden idea. “Sasuke…” he began, but then hesitated. 

“Hm?” he asked, keeping his eyes on the horizon. 

“Did you ever have… you know… a funeral for your brother? Or a memorial of some kind?” 

Sasuke turned to look at him, taken aback. “Well… I guess not,” he said. “Why?” 

“Oh, I don’t know,” Naruto said, looking faintly embarrassed. “I just thought… It could help you find some closure, right? When Ero-Sennin died, he had his name carved on that big rock outside the Village. It wasn’t much, but it was kinda helpful, you know? I think it helped me realize and accept that he was really gone.” He opened his eyes wide, excusing himself. “I’m not saying it’d work for you, or anything! It was just an idea, that’s all.” 

Sasuke hummed. He had never even thought about holding any type of memorial for Itachi; at first, he had felt only triumph at his brother’s death. And after learning the truth, he had been preoccupied with bigger things.  _ Like burning Konoha to the ground and slaughtering its people,  _ he reminded himself ruefully. He shook his head. 

“The Uchiha don’t have funerals like the other clans,” he said absent-mindedly. “We go in death devoured by the very thing that flows through our veins in life... Fire.” 

“You mean… A funeral pyre?” Naruto asked. 

Sasuke nodded. 

“I don’t know how your clan does it, but we could do that if you wanted,” Naruto said. “For him.” 

He considered it for a moment. The idea of having a ceremony without a body was somewhat strange, but now that Naruto had brought up the idea, he found himself wanting to pursue it. 

“Well…” he said carefully, “I do have these files of his which should be burned, anyway.” 

“Alright,” Naruto said. Sasuke caught his eye, and his gaze was reassuring somehow. “We’ll do it however you want.” 

Sasuke looked at him for a moment longer before turning away and gazing off into the distance. He felt lighter than before, somehow: the three elements making up the weight on his shoulders seemed to have diminished in size. In addition, the loneliness which had seized him earlier was slipping away like a shroud. It was true that, unlike in his memories, Itachi was not here. 

But Naruto  _ was,  _ and Sasuke found he was grateful for that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke finally shared more of his life and feelings with Naruto. Let's hope they will both be able to begin to heal from now on :) 
> 
> I want to take the opportunity to give special thanks to several of you, people who take the time to comment on and support my work after every single update. It really makes my week and encourages me to keep going :) i hope you all know who you are, and please know you have my utmost gratitude <3 
> 
> see you next week!


	10. Burning Me, Burning You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following Naruto's suggestion, he and Sasuke hold a vigil for Itachi. Sasuke has an important realization about grief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is quite a lot of discussion about death and grieving in this chapter, so please be careful if this is a topic that affects you. <3

A little further along the crest of the hill was a grove of trees: the ground beneath was covered in fallen wood, everything from twigs to sticks to sizable logs. 

Further still, by a couple dozen meters, was a slight slope which formed a high point at the end of this range of hills. It was protected from the wind by a low outcropping of natural stone and, just like where they had been sitting just moments earlier, provided a good view of the valley below. 

With minimal communication, Naruto and Sasuke began to gather wood and pile it high atop the crest. They worked through sunset, and then twilight: at this altitude, the sun’s light seemed to be as reluctant to die as Sasuke wished people were. 

Eventually, the pyre had grown to Sasuke’s satisfaction and he nodded at Naruto as a signal. He took a step back to take in their handiwork and took a deep breath. As of yet he didn’t feel anything, but there was a strange buzzing in his lungs which had nothing to do with the relatively hard labor he had just performed. 

He gave Naruto a sideways look, then pulled Itachi’s files out of his cloak and moved towards the pile of wood. 

He had considered letting Naruto read them before they were destroyed, but his companion hadn’t asked; besides, ever since the idea of a pyre had been proposed, he had felt a small yet nagging urge to do that and burn everything as soon as he could. 

_ Besides,  _ he knew,  _ I could always tell Naruto their contents sometime in the future. It’s not like I will ever be able to forget what they said.  _

Right now, the grief was near and closure felt far. So he reached out and placed the files on top of the pyre, wedging them underneath some large sticks so they wouldn’t blow away. 

For a moment he only stood, observing as some of the pages flapped forlornly in the twilit breeze. 

“Are you sure about this?” Naruto murmured from beside him, quiet so as to not break the solemn mood which had overcome them. 

Sasuke nodded and cleared his throat. “There’s a certain jutsu the Uchiha use for this,” he said. 

Remembering his clan’s traditions evoked both grief and nostalgia within him, but he was able to speak the words easily. They came naturally to him, rules which had been instilled in him since he was a child. 

Anticipation towards what he was about to ask Naruto needled through him like a hail storm, as he wondered, at the same time, whether his companion would even realize the significance of his request.

“This jutsu is meant to be performed by multiple people,” he said, swallowing grief and memory as if they were a bundle of knives stuck in his throat, “But only an Uchiha can perform it.” 

Sasuke felt Naruto’s eyes on him and realized what a mystery this must be to his friend, someone who had never known family— let alone the centuries-old traditions of an ancient shinobi clan. 

“If… If I share my chakra with you,” he said, “You will be able to perform it with me.” 

Naruto turned suddenly. “Sasuke, are you asking me to…?” His words were spoken quickly, but at the same time, he sounded almost awed. 

“If you want to,” Sasuke replied briefly. 

Silence fell, and for a moment he feared that he had asked too much. He had meant it partially as reconciliation, a twisted and roundabout apology for everything he had kept from Naruto today, but as he reconsidered his words he began to feel as if his request must have come across as selfish and strange instead. 

But then Naruto spoke, the awe in his tone more defined than ever in such a way that not even Sasuke could ignore it. “If you would let me,” —he turned to face Sasuke, expression overflowing with an expression Sasuke couldn’t call anything less than  _ tender _ — “I would like that a lot.” 

A shift then took place in Sasuke’s heart, signaling both simple gratitude and complicated pain. Unable to hide either of these from reflecting in his eyes, he stretched out his hand towards Naruto, much as they had done earlier that day. 

The physical sensation of slotting the fingers of his right hand through those of Naruto’s left was no longer unfamiliar, and neither was the exchange of power which flowed between them: despite this, both feelings still crackled through his veins stronger than any lightning he had ever channeled. 

What was new to him was the wave of emotion and  _ self  _ he felt rolling off of Naruto, as well as what he felt departing from himself. From the beginning, he had been aware that this jutsu would require more than raw power, seeing as it held ancestral and personal significance, but the idea alone hadn’t come close to preparing him for the true sensation. 

Earlier that day, even an exchange of only power had left Sasuke feeling as if he was teetering on the brink of feeling known. But although the power and nature of Naruto’s chakra said a lot about him, it wasn’t and could never encapsulate his entire self. Now, performing this exchange, Sasuke could feel as Naruto began to witness the rest of his depths. 

_ I know your heart and you know mine,  _ Sasuke had once told Naruto, a long time ago now. He had not lied, yet at the same time, he hadn’t realized how much more true those words could be. 

_ That’s what it is, this feeling,  _ he thought dimly to himself.  _ Naruto’s power, and the heart behind it.  _

If it were anyone other than Naruto standing before him, Sasuke knew this exchange would have been impossible. But it  _ was _ him, and that decided everything.

Taking a deep breath, Sasuke summoned the fire within. He did it slowly, knowing this sensation would be completely unfamiliar to Naruto. Sure enough, he soon felt his companion’s shock and sense of novelty flowing through the connection. 

The fire alone wasn’t enough; because this jutsu was never intended for fighting. It was a tragic and noble flame, the Uchiha way of saying farewell. 

And so Sasuke passed this definition into Naruto’s heart as well:  _ farewell _ . 

His mind searched, trying to find a way to convey to Naruto the depth of this word, and then he found it. 

Two simple images, both from his point of view and both taken at the same place:  _ the Final Valley, where I have always told you goodbye.  _

_ A young Naruto, lying beneath him on the unforgiving ground as it rained around them; and then an older Naruto, glaring as he defiantly refused to grant Sasuke’s appeal for loneliness.  _

Something visceral sparked through him as he shared these images, and he felt Naruto’s understanding kindle and roar to life. 

_ He’s ready.  _

Twisting their hands, moving his and Naruto’s fingers as easily as if each one belonged to his own body, Sasuke formed the seal he had performed far too many times before. 

With their combined energies the pyre was immediately set fully alight. There was no spark, no small beginning: the entire pile of wood simply burst into flame, much as Sasuke’s soul had through the force of this connection. 

And now the heat was becoming unbearable: with a gasp Sasuke broke it off and then sank to the ground, staring at the pyre.

He heard Naruto come to stand behind him, and they both gazed at the fire they had created. 

Sasuke felt strange as he watched the wood burn: consciously, he knew this was intended to be a goodbye, Itachi’s last journey as his spirit was borne away with the sparks rising into the wind. 

But after so many other goodbyes, he found his belief in this one wavering. 

The first time he had said goodbye to his brother was at just seven years old, after the massacre. It had hurt too much to think of Itachi as a brother at that time and in order to survive this grief, Sasuke had focused all of his energy on painting over the image he had once held of his brother with the stain of villainy, replacing every mental image he could get his hands on with one of a monster. Some might have seen this goodbye as tragic, and a sign of suffering: to Sasuke at the time, it had been the only way forward. 

The second goodbye took place nearly ten years later, and where the first had held little explicit grief, this next one held even less. From Sasuke’s point of view at the time, this had been a victory; the moment at which he had accomplished what he had always wanted. He was determined to feel triumphant regardless of how much of his body and soul he had sacrificed to get to that point. 

The third goodbye was accompanied by a sense of loss, what Sasuke had been repressing since he was a child. To grieve for the one he had hated for so long was strange, yet necessary. After all, Sasuke was the reason Itachi was dead in the first place. Even if that had been his brother’s plan and Sasuke was not to blame, he wished desperately that his brother could have failed, if only this one time. But no; Itachi only continued to succeed, at least by his own strange measures, as he sacrificed himself once again to aid in the war. This was the moment Sasuke knew he would never be a hero: he could never think to approach that level of selflessness Itachi had always possessed. Even when it came to matters of morality, Sasuke would never be able to surpass his brother. 

And now here he was, staring uncertainly at this tall, flaming pyre during what was supposed to be a fourth and final goodbye. 

_ Maybe I can’t do this, after all.  _

Something about the fire itself, however, drew him in further and kept him from giving up completely. 

Part of that may have been due to the fire’s sheer power and size: due to his fire chakra nature, Sasuke had always been drawn to this force. Its heat, its glow, its comfort: in some ways, these attributes meant  _ home  _ to him as much as the name Uchiha ever had.

But this was no accidental, or naturally-occurring fire. Neither was it a common fire of man, intended to warm or cook or clean. This was a fire that represented ancestral tradition, as a closely-kept secret held by the Uchiha for hundreds of years. More than that, it was now the singular phenomenon which best described his clan: burned out of existence, their legacy nothing more than smoke in the wind as their remains were borne away. A striking star that burned too fiercely and would soon be extinguished forever. 

This knowledge resonated tightly within Sasuke, and for a moment he didn’t dare move as if fearing it would break him apart. 

But there was yet another aspect of this fire that was calling to him. In Sasuke’s earliest memories, this fire was a sign of companionship. The grief of his entire clan, flickering back onto many living faces as it reduced a dead face to nothing but ash among charcoal. This fire had always represented one of the purest forms of connection: collective mourning. 

For a long time, Sasuke had believed he would never experience that feeling again. But as he stood before this pyre, he realized that it held echoes of these memories: he could feel a presence within it, something bigger than himself. The presence was different than he remembered it, but it touched on those same long-forgotten feelings. Lighting this fire with someone else by his side, someone who had tapped into the Uchiha power, made all the difference. 

It made the moment feel real, it made the experience feel important. And that was when Sasuke realized that he knew how to say goodbye now. 

“Farewell, Itachi,” he whispered. 

Just like that, with the implications of what he had said and the grief which had been hanging over him for so long finally beginning to be processed, Sasuke began to cry. 

His vision blurred, and the tongues of flame licking at the funeral pyre were reduced to glowing lights rather than snapping, defined sparks. 

He made no move to wipe his tears, but simply bowed his head and let them flow. 

_ Farewell, farewell,  _ he thought over and over again,  _ I will miss you as long as I live.  _

The smoke and tears began to burn his eyes eventually, and he moved his head sideways in order to wipe at them with his sleeve. 

But in doing so, he made eye contact with Naruto and he froze, arm still hanging useless at his side. 

Naruto was looking straight back at him, wetness shining openly in his eyes although no tears had fallen. Behind the tears, his eyes were full of feeling. There was not a trace of pity, condescension, or misunderstanding present: Sasuke could only recognize compassion and sorrow, a sorrow Sasuke now knew Naruto was as familiar with as he was. 

They stood facing each other, faces flickering under the same firelight and eyes shining with different, yet understanding tears. 

Slowly, more slowly than he ever had, Naruto stretched out his hand for the second time that evening. Sasuke looked down at it, the details still indistinct to his grieving eyes, and took it gently after a moment. 

Naruto did not open the connection: he spared Sasuke’s fragile heart and didn’t pry into his grief. He simply stood and held Sasuke’s hand, letting physical connection speak for itself. 

And it spoke so clearly. 

Naruto’s warmth and understanding were there, providing a bulwark to shore up the crumbling walls containing his despair. But Naruto’s own grief and sorrow were there as well, creating a sense of understanding, telling Sasuke’s wild pain it was not alone and would never be. 

It was all there in the touch, yet gentle enough that it did not even take Sasuke’s breath away. 

It merely existed, flowing in and out with the rhythm of his breaths, the air he so needed right now. 

He sniffed as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks, and yet he was not drowning in pain. The contact between them was a lifeline, and the fire he had lit with Naruto proof that his heart still continued to beat. 

He looked down as tears continued to fill his eyes and ash burned at the back of his throat, and warmth and light burned deep where none of that pain would ever be able to touch. 

Underneath the grief, everything was beginning to heal as he stood there holding Naruto’s hand. 

***

After a while, after the roaring flames had died down and the towering pile of wood had been reduced to ash, Naruto and Sasuke turned and began to walk back along the spine of the hills, back towards a place more suitable to spend the night. 

They were silent: Sasuke’s tears had dried, Naruto’s eyes had not.

But, whether consciously or not, they never once let go of each other’s hands on their way back. 

They didn’t let each other go until they reached the spot they had both silently agreed upon and had to unpack. 

They laid down their bedrolls, possibly a little closer to each other than they usually would be, and silently lowered themselves, but neither of them lay down. 

Instead, they both sat cross-legged at the foot of their respective bedrolls and simply looked at each other. 

“How are you feeling?” Naruto asked at some point, voice so low it may as well have come whispering through the connection still so freshly exposed in Sasuke’s wounded mind. 

This was a delicate question, but the way Naruto delivered it wasn’t invasive, expectant, or in any way hinting at the meaning such a question would usually have when asked of him. 

“Like I’ve said goodbye,” Sasuke whispered back, “For real this time.” 

Naruto tilted his head as his eyes roved up and down Sasuke’s form, looking for any clues as to what he should say. 

Sasuke released him from his wonder by continuing to speak. “It’s a good thing. Or… It will be. So… Thank you,” he said. 

Evidently, Naruto had not considered these words as something he might say because he drew back, eyes returning to Sasuke’s and flaring with surprise but also something warmer. “You’re thanking me?” he asked. “Why?” 

“I… didn’t realize how much I was holding on to,” Sasuke admitted, frowning slightly. He wasn’t sure if that was the best way to explain why this ceremony had meant so much to him. 

“Some things are worth holding on to,” Naruto said, in a voice so thick and sad that Sasuke couldn’t help but zero in on every line of grief in his face. 

“But not if they are holding you back,” Sasuke replied, equally solemn. He shook his head, realizing he had something important to say and trying to decide how to do so. “This feeling towards those who are no longer here… It was preventing me from feeling for those who are here now.” 

“Hm,” Naruto said, looking thoughtful once again. 

“I mean you,” Sasuke then heard himself say, only to immediately be startled by his own directness. 

So, evidently, was Naruto: but then the wetness in his eyes finally evaporated, and a smile stretched across his face. “You…” 

“I want to apologize again,” Sasuke said. “I should have let you come with me today.” 

Naruto’s smile dimmed a little: Sasuke cursed himself for causing his friend pain once again. 

“I didn’t understand at the time,” Naruto admitted, “But I think I do now, after you showed me what you did today.” 

Sasuke was surprised by the mention of the connection. Save that accidental mention during their previous fight, he had assumed it to be yet another thing between them that they had decided never to discuss. 

Naruto continued. “You were right, you know. I never really did understand what it meant, to lose family. The closest thing I ever felt was when…” he trailed off, looking into the distance, before continuing. Sasuke knew which images he was recalling. “So I’m sorry, too. I should have realized that this part of the journey was very personal for you. But I  _ was  _ worried, since you don’t have your Sharingan, and I was also worried for… You know. That you’d leave.” 

Sasuke found himself accepting Naruto’s reasoning without question. Whether it was because of the experience they’d just shared, how late it was, or the connection between them being unusually present, it seemed easier to understand Naruto right now. Sasuke found himself shaking his head at the fact that he’d ever been able to believe that animosity was their default when this feeling was right there in front of him. 

Then Naruto smiled slowly. “Later on I figured it’d be alright though. I mean, you promised, didn’t you?” 

Something warm welled up in Sasuke’s chest, reaching towards Naruto and trying to make itself known to him. Sasuke felt as though he should provide a long and detailed response, but then Naruto yawned and smiled. 

You should rest,” he said, and Sasuke rolled his aching eyes. 

“You’re the one who’s yawning.” 

“N-No I’m not,” Naruto said, yawning. 

Sasuke snorted softly, in spite of himself and the fact that his mind felt more laid bare than it might have ever been. 

“Usuratonkachi.” 

“Yeah, that’s me,” Naruto said. “Now let’s sleep.” 

“Hm,” Sasuke replied, watching with a tiny smile as Naruto fell inelegantly onto his bedroll. 

Sasuke copied him at a slower pace, and they lay facing each other. 

“Goodnight…” Naruto murmured, and Sasuke could swear his friend fell asleep before finishing even this single word.

“Goodnight, Naruto,” he whispered in reply. 

Overhead, the moon rose over the treeline and cast its light onto Naruto’s already-sleeping face. The light was cool, but Sasuke’s heart was warm, and it was with this feeling, rather than grief or pain, that he fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> could that be.... progress? everyone say hell yeah to being gay and healing from trauma!
> 
> i hope you enjoyed this chapter, please let me know! i really appreciate feedback :)


	11. A Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Naruto and Sasuke's emotional vigil for Itachi seems like it will be a time of rest. But when it comes to them, it seems things never go quite the way they're supposed to...

Naruto and Sasuke spent the next morning at their leisure: there seemed to be an unspoken agreement between them to take things slow after the events of the previous night. Sasuke found himself pensive, but for once not unpleasantly so. He sat through the morning in reflective but comfortable silence, eating and speaking as necessary. 

Around noon, Naruto finally brought up the discoveries Sasuke had made in the hideout the day before. “Did you find the information you were looking for?” he asked. 

Sasuke nodded. “I took almost every document there. I think it’s mostly briefings on situations in Konoha and other places in the Land of Fire, as well as some research on jutsu Danzo was looking into.” 

“Do you mind if I check them out?” Naruto asked. 

“You can go ahead,” Sasuke said absent-mindedly. “They’re in my cloak pocket.” Not long ago, he might have been wary at the idea of Naruto reading these files, but he remembered yesterday’s events well. _ Naruto is no stranger to the crimes of the Leaf, and if he is to be Hokage he should know even about the ones not committed against himself,  _ Sasuke rationalized as he looked into the distance. 

He could see the charred remains of the pyre they had built last night, and there was still smoke rising dark against the pale blue sky. 

“Hell yeah,” Naruto said. “I bet Danzo was into some weird shit, if he was storing it all the way out here rather than in Konoha. Let’s see what that old pervert was into.” 

Sasuke smiled in reluctant amusement, still looking towards the skies as Naruto shuffled around somewhere behind him. 

As Naruto sat down to read, Sasuke began to test his doujutsu. 

Yesterday morning he had succeeded in using his Sharingan again, if only for a short while. And today his head was feeling even clearer still.  _ It’s time my eye regained its full functionality,  _ he thought.  _ I shouldn’t keep walking around blind.  _ His lip quirked at his next thought, despite himself.  _ And I can’t keep holding Naruto’s hand forever.  _

With this thought in mind, he fixed his gaze forward and began a series of ocular focus techniques. The set had been taught to him by his father when he was very young, before his Sharingan had shown any signs of awakening. It was a simple but effective ritual, designed to improve the flow of chakra to the Uchiha ocular nerve. 

He quickly chose four points of focus in his current line of sight: the first as close as the ground directly in front of him, the last one all the way on the horizon. He then began his first set: staring at each point unblinkingly for a count of four, then closing his eyes for half that time and moving to the next point. Then he continued to repeat this motion of the eyes, extending the length of time for which he looked at each point by two seconds each time. 

He couldn’t help but smile with satisfaction when he felt the power humming within him: it was there like an old friend, just waiting for him to reach out and take its hand. Slowly, ever so slowly, he reached out with his chakra, searching for the perfect balance while trying not to trigger any residual pain in his head. 

But he grasped it slowly with no adverse effects, and his smile widened as the points he had just repeatedly stared at began to expand themselves in his vision, revealing more details and allowing him to experience once more that ever-so-satisfying measure of the power around him… 

Suddenly Sasuke’s red-tinted vision began to tunnel, luring his gaze elsewhere, and he had a horrible premonition.  _ Something is wrong,  _ he thought abruptly, and even before this thought had finished itself he was already spinning around to focus on what was behind him. 

For a second he saw nothing out of the ordinary: there was only the hillside, another forested horizon spreading itself out before him. And in the foreground there was Naruto, his golden power radiating as strongly as if he were a second sun fallen to the earth, and in his hands was… 

_ No,  _ Sasuke cried internally, because whatever Naruto was holding was pulsing with something disgustingly ominous, a chakra signature which shouldn’t exist: and it was reaching out towards him, greedily grasping at the power he extended so innocently, and Sasuke sprang forward crying out Naruto’s name because--

But it was too late. Naruto picked up the document and held it still for a single moment, just beginning to look up in confusion at the sound of Sasuke’s shout, before his body began to seize. His expression froze in fear and pain as he crumpled to the ground, every one of his limbs relaxing sickeningly except his left hand, which began to twitch disturbingly as it stuck up straight into the air. 

_ A curse,  _ Sasuke realized,  _ Danzo protected his research with a curse.  _

Sasuke reached Naruto’s side and stood over his friend, whose face was already drained of color like a sickly moon. Sasuke’s breath caught so harshly in his throat that it was painful: but even this sensation barely registered next to the inexorable wave of panic which was rising within, threatening to swallow him whole. 

_ He’s not moving, he’s not breathing, I can’t feel anything _ , Sasuke realized with horror. The chakra which should be there, that warm sensation he had become so strangely accustomed to during recent days, was gone: it left him freezing and disoriented, as if he had been transported from a temperate plain drenched in sunlight to an inhospitable arctic wasteland in a matter of seconds.

Sasuke activated his Sharingan again, the redness sputtering and hesitating to shade his vision as something deep inside him was struggling to allow the chakra to flow to his eyes.  _ Please,  _ he thought, fists clenching as he looked down at Naruto as intensely as he could, praying these cursed eyes could give him the answers he needed. 

Finally, the familiar hue of Sharingan filled his sight and he zeroed in on the curse mark which was now staining past Naruto’s knuckles.  _ It’s deadly,  _ he realized with horror, recoiling at the sight of the demonic energy.  _ Of course it fucking is, it’s Danzo’s doing. Why didn’t I inspect these documents myself before letting Naruto read them?  _

Thankfully,  _ thankfully,  _ his doujutsu seemed to be holding itself steady: he could see the curse, just barely there but still pulsing disgustingly at the end of Naruto’s fingertips, and he could see its source lying discarded on the ground. 

A sudden image of that hated man, Danzo, filled Sasuke’s mind’s eye and he gritted his teeth so hard he swore he felt one of them crack. “I already killed you, bastard,” he muttered, “You’re not going to take away anyone else.”

As he spoke he kneeled down swiftly, careful not to touch Naruto’s hand: he couldn’t be sure whether the seal was still transmissible from one person to another. 

The inky stain was seeping into every cell of Naruto’s sunshine skin and was traveling further down his hand at a significant pace. With the Sharingan, Sasuke could see this evil sinking into his pores, his veins, his very bones.  _ I have to stop it now.  _

Sasuke had little knowledge of medicine or sealing jutsus: even if he had known more, something of this level of either would have been far beyond his skill to heal. All he could think of to stop the curse was to stop it physically. For one wild moment, he considered cutting the fingers off:  _ if it’s to save him.  _ The idea went as quickly as it came, and soon he was considering another alternative. 

Danzo’s curse, although it appeared to be something physical, was actually traveling down Naruto’s chakra pathways. The only reason it hadn’t engulfed him yet was that Naruto’s chakra was proving to be hard to access. His chakra was like magma, devouring everything besides his own light. Still, even in the face of this magnificence, the curse was slowly winning, millimeter by millimeter. 

But if Naruto’s chakra could be strengthened, a buffer of sorts…  _ that might halt the curse in its tracks, at least for now,  _ Sasuke reasoned feverishly. 

Without thinking any further, he quickly took hold of Naruto’s other hand and brought their chakras together. Though Naruto was cold on the surface, his chakra had awoken underneath it all: now storming and raging in defense against the invading infection. 

Sasuke carefully guided his power throughout Naruto’s system, making sure he didn’t come into contact with the curse energy himself. He held his breath throughout the act, hoping against hope his own fear wouldn’t drive him to make one wrong move. 

When his chakra had spread close enough, he abruptly cut off the connection, leaving some of his energy within Naruto’s network. 

Then he sat back with a deep exhale and stared fiercely at Naruto’s infected hand, using his Sharingan to take in every microscopic movement of the powers now fighting for dominance inside Naruto’s system.

The curse continued to move forward in tiny increments — Sasuke gritted his teeth, fearing for the worst. 

He stared the energy down as if it were Danzo himself, in the instant right before Sasuke had killed that hateful man. 

“I won’t let you take anyone else away from me, you fucking bastard,” he snarled. “I already killed you, you have no  _ right  _ to take him…”

But despite all the power and anger Sasuke could call to himself, for an agonizing moment all even he could do was hope.

_ Not Naruto. Please, not him too.  _

But then, finally, the parasitic energy halted its assault completely. It ceased devouring Naruto’s chakra and faded physically as well, appearing as nothing more than a slight blackening of Naruto’s fingertips. 

A wave of relief flooded Sasuke’s entire body, and he let out a shaky breath as his burning eyes briefly fluttered shut. 

_ Naruto,  _ his body whispered,  _ Naruto is alright.  _

He slumped forward, barely supporting himself with a hand placed on the ground next to his friend’s head. 

It was so easy to take in Naruto’s features from here: that unkempt hair, the smooth forehead, the thick eyelashes, those whisker markings, the parted lips as he breathed, slow and restful and  _ alive.  _

A strange warmth swelled inside Sasuke.  _ He’s here, and he’s alive,  _ he thought. And before he had any idea of what he was doing, he was leaning closer towards Naruto’s face.

Rationally, Sasuke knew he had been in this position before. Even if he were able to put the memories behind him, his eyes would see to it that he would never truly forget. 

But every other time he and Naruto had faced each other in this way, Sasuke had been too wracked by doubt and guilt to act. 

Now, as Naruto lay wounded on the ground — once again because of Sasuke — those feelings were still there, churning within him. But this novel sensation of warmth was far more powerful than all of them combined, at least at that moment. It rushed through Sasuke as tangibly as chakra itself, heating him from the inside and gently steering his limbs. 

And suddenly just seeing Naruto alive and well wasn’t enough— Sasuke wanted to  _ feel  _ him, to physically touch the life that was before him and feel it echoing through his own chakra network. Because these eyes of his might be his most powerful asset, but they had also fooled him one too many times before: deceiving him, warping his memories, and forcing him to walk the dark path trodden by so many before him. 

So for something as important, as visceral, as  _ precious  _ as Naruto, Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to rely on sight alone like he always did. He needed further proof, he needed it all, leaned forward just a tiny bit more, and ever so gently pressed his lips to Naruto’s. 

Naruto’s lips were soft and dry, and warm with evidence of his health and life.  _ He’s here,  _ Sasuke thought, his heart soaring with the sudden realization.  _ Naruto is really here. Danzo could not take him away from me. _

But not even half a second later, the realization of what he was doing hit him. 

Sasuke sprang backward, as if Naruto were poison— no, as if  _ he  _ were poison, and he was trying to prevent himself from delivering the danger he carried.

Then his heart began to thump wildly as Naruto stirred beneath him, opening his eyes slowly and then attempting to sit up. 

For a moment Sasuke was frozen: too confused by what he had just done, and too afraid that Naruto had noticed, to be able to do the obvious. 

Then his senses returned, and he shushed Naruto. “Don’t get up so fast.” 

“Wha— What happened?” Naruto asked, still looking around blearily. 

Some of Sasuke’s alarm began to fade.  _ Maybe he didn’t notice.  _

However, he stayed cautiously objective. “Danzo had put a curse on one of the documents you were looking at,” he explained. “You touched it, and it began to infect you.”   


Naruto looked down at his hand as Sasuke spoke, evidently beginning to feel the pain. He grimaced at the sight of the blackened fingers. “How long have I been out?” he asked. 

“Only a few moments.” 

“Oh, that’s good. I wasn’t sure… The last thing I remember was…” 

Alarm flared within him and Sasuke stiffened, glancing warily at his injured companion. 

“Sorting through the documents. I was being careful, but I must have missed something…” 

Sasuke sighed, in relief for both Naruto and himself. “It’s alright,” he said softly. “I should have warned you about Danzo’s methods.” 

“I was being impatient,” Naruto replied. He appeared sober and kept looking down at his painful fingers. “This doesn’t feel good.”

“I stopped the curse temporarily by lending you some of my chakra. But we’ll have to find someone who knows how to cure it.” 

Naruto looked up sharply. “But Sasuke, that’s dangerous! You might still have mercenaries after you, and you only just recovered from the last attack. Besides, you want to avoid towns in general, so…” 

Sasuke grimaced. “Usuratonkachi.” 

Naruto snapped his mouth shut and whipped his head around, once again entirely focused on Sasuke.

“This isn’t about me. You’re hurt, and that curse is going to keep trying to attack your chakra until it’s purged completely.” 

Naruto opened his mouth as if to argue, but something sincere in Sasuke’s stare must have convinced him to do otherwise. Eventually, he settled on muttering “Thank you.” 

Sasuke shifted closer to his companion, forcefully shoving aside any newfound fears concerning physical contact with Naruto in order to make sure he was alright. “Don’t thank me,” he said. “You’re on this journey, too.” 

Naruto watched him strangely for a moment, then his face broke into a smile. “It took you this long to realize that?” he asked teasingly. 

“Shut up,” Sasuke grumbled, folding his arms underneath his cloak. “That’s not what I meant, you…” 

“So what did you mean, then?” Naruto asked, alert again. 

“I…” Sasuke sighed. He swallowed— the question was making him oddly nervous, and he didn’t know why. “I just meant that I shouldn’t be the only one who has a say in what we do.” 

Naruto was quiet for a moment, then smiled as he appeared to understand the meaning of Sasuke’s words. “I… really appreciate that,” he said, looking up at Sasuke with a serious expression, causing that traitorous warmth to swirl inside him all over again. “Thank you.” 

Sasuke broke eye contact before his feelings could betray him, and briskly stood up. “I know where the nearest town is,” he said. “If you’re feeling well enough, we can reach it by nightfall.” 

Naruto smirked up at him, determined. “Oh, definitely. A little finger-ache isn’t going to stop me from feeling a nice inn bed underneath me tonight.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes at the jab but found himself smiling regardless.  _ I’m just grateful you’re alright,  _ he thought.

For a moment he paused, wary as to where this sudden rush of sentiment towards Naruto was coming from. A vivid memory filled him then, the lingering sensation of his lips against Naruto’s—

_ No.  _ He shook his head resolutely.  _ It meant nothing. Spur of the moment… Curiosity…  _

_ I’m just glad he’s alright.  _

And with that, he helped Naruto upright, gathered their things, and resolutely ignored the nagging question of  _ why  _ this truth made him so relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone-- first of all, I'm SO, SO sorry for the delay on this chapter. It was totally my fault-- I sent the latest batch of chapters to one of my beta readers too late, and had to wait for them to complete their amazing work. From now on, weekly updates will be back, I promise. And I hope that the exciting content in this chapter was slightly worth the wait-- the "slow burn" may finally be starting to smolder a little more, right? 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with this story despite my unintended hiatus, and as always feedback is my lifeblood so if you can spare the time to comment, I greatly appreciate it. 
> 
> See you next week!


	12. Your Laugh, Echoing Down the Hallway

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sasuke halts a deadly curse from infecting Naruto's chakra, the two of them go to a city in order to have it fully purged. Afterwards, they go to a hotel and share a meal, a drink, and more together.

The darkness on Naruto’s fingers horrified him. 

All that remained of Danzo’s curse was the faintest shadow, barely noticeable if Naruto’s hands were only glanced at, but though its appearance was subtle it refused to go away, and this knowledge was what struck at Sasuke’s heart and filled his lungs with fresh guilt until he could barely breathe. 

Maybe Sasuke was spoiled: by all rights, Naruto should be littered with scars from wounds he had inflicted, all the attempts to hurt him so badly that even Naruto would no longer be able to call Sasuke “friend.” It was true that Naruto’s words reminded him of the past quite frequently, but it should be much worse.  _ Naruto’s body should be a walking canvas of evidence against me.  _

But it seemed that Naruto was so good and so pure that even his flesh rejected marks of evil, and so Sasuke was left with only heavily-spoken words and red-tinted memories to remind him of all he had done. 

Perhaps this was why this tiny shadow on Naruto’s fingers was bothering him so much: there was finally physical, unfading proof of his role in Naruto’s life. 

These thoughts and more ran through Sasuke’s head as he watched Naruto lie his hand flat on a wooden table, to be pored over by a wizened old woman who lived in the small townhouse Naruto and Sasuke had found their way to after arriving in the large town Sasuke had mentioned earlier that day. 

The room they were sitting in was small, cluttered, and dark; the sun had nearly set outside, and there were only two small windows to let the dying light in. There was a tiny fireplace on one side of the room, but it didn’t do much to illuminate the dark stone walls or the low ceiling, and the stacks of books and other clutter lining the walls cast strange shadows. 

The woman across the small table from them was supposedly skilled at medical jutsu, which was why Sasuke sat stiffly in the third chair at the table trying to quell his misgivings as she observed Naruto’s hand. His eye itched with the urge to activate his Sharingan and make sure she wasn’t doing anything strange, but he controlled the impulse. Naruto was in a weakened state, and he wasn’t going to risk attracting any more attention to them than two strange ninja were already sure to receive. 

“This is a strange chakra,” the woman said, turning over Naruto’s smooth palm in her wrinkled one. “How did this happen, hmm, young man?” 

Sasuke stiffened in discomfort, not sure how to respond. They hadn’t exactly thought of a cover story before walking in here, and he had been hoping that she would be able to help Naruto with no questions asked— this city lay on a well-traveled road after all, and the citizens here were doubtless used to encountering strangers. Despite this, however, it seemed like they might not be so lucky as to escape without any inquiry at all. 

“It’s a curse,” Naruto said steadily, and as he spoke he made subtle eye contact with Sasuke.  _ It’s alright,  _ he seemed to be saying, and although Sasuke was too familiar with Naruto’s trusting nature to be entirely reassured, he still appreciated the message. Naruto, for all his somewhat frequent short-sightedness and naivete, still seemed to understand people better than Sasuke did in some ways. 

“A curse?” the old woman asked. “I see.” 

She stood up and walked to a bookshelf, from which she took a large tome and began to flip through it. 

Naruto and Sasuke shared another look, and Sasuke’s gaze trailed back down to his friend’s hand. 

They both started slightly when the woman closed her book with a thud and sat back down at the table. 

“You’re very lucky, young man,” she told Naruto, looking up at him through thick glasses. “This curse could have hurt you a lot worse.” 

Naruto nodded, his eyes wide, while Sasuke stared at the floor. 

“Since the curse is only affecting you on a surface level, I can purge it rather easily,” she said. “Just a moment, dear. Sit tight, now. It should only hurt a little.” 

Sasuke could not help but exhale in simultaneous relief and anxiety, then he started when he felt a light pressure on his thigh. It was Naruto’s hand, he realized― bracing himself, perhaps even unconsciously, as he bravely stared at the woman across from him, who was now making seals Sasuke didn’t recognize. 

He watched Naruto closely as his friend’s eyes fluttered shut and his mouth set in a fine line.  _ He’s in pain,  _ Sasuke knew, the expression all too familiar, and then Naruto’s grip on his thigh tightened, as if in confirmation. 

Sasuke’s gaze was torn away from Naruto’s face as the woman exhaled sharply, and he watched in both curiosity and disgust as the shadow on Naruto’s other hand began to draw out of his skin like ink from a sponge. 

The woman quickly rolled out a scroll beneath his hand and muttered a few words. Naruto’s entire body shuddered, Sasuke blinked once, and then the entire scroll was suddenly full, scrawled with dark and heavy penmanship Sasuke recognized as Danzo’s. He could not help but shudder at this sight as well, and he felt Naruto loosely squeeze his thigh once before his friend’s grip withdrew. 

The woman rolled the scroll back up just as quickly and sealed it with yet another unfamiliar jutsu. After she was finished, she slid the scroll to the center of the table and took a few seconds to catch her breath. There was a sheen of sweat on her brow:  _ despite having said the curse would be relatively easy to get rid of, she’s still tired now.  _

“How are you feeling?” she asked Naruto after a moment. 

“Good!” he said, flexing his fingers. “Wow, Baa-san, you’re so talented.” Then he winced suddenly. “Ow, my fingers still hurt, though…”

The woman nodded sympathetically. “That’s no surprise,” she laughed. “And you’re getting off lightly.” 

“It doesn’t  _ feel  _ like I am,” Naruto grumbled, and the woman just laughed again. 

“I’ll get our cloaks, then!” he exclaimed, and disappeared into the front hall with a spring in his step. 

Sasuke was about to follow suit, but the old woman called out from behind him. 

“Do you want to take this with you?” she asked, gesturing at the scroll lying on the table. 

“Oh, yes,” Sasuke replied quickly.  _ I want to make sure I personally destroy it.  _

The woman made eye contact with him for the first time since their arrival, and Sasuke once again found himself fighting the urge to use his doujutsu. 

“Usually, for cases like these, I request to destroy the scroll myself,” she said quietly, “But in this case, I feel as if you might be able to better accomplish that than me.” 

Sasuke drew himself up to his full height, eyeing her suspiciously.  _ Does she know who we are?  _ he wondered. 

The woman appeared to notice his suspicion, but she only laughed. “Don’t be so alarmed,” she said. “It’s a good thing! What you did saved this other young man a lot of pain, and I daresay me as well. It was very brave of you, and you two obviously have an incredible bond. I have never seen any chakra so well melded.” 

Sasuke blinked in surprise, unsure of what to say. 

“Your secret is safe with me, don’t worry,” the woman said in a stage whisper, now looking conspiratorially between him and Naruto. “Here, now take the scroll.” 

Part of Sasuke wanted to ask her what exactly she meant, but just then Naruto poked his head back into the room. “Come on!” he said. “How long’s it taking you to cross the room, huh?”

So Sasuke carefully took the scroll, stowing it in his knapsack as he turned around. He followed Naruto to the door and threw one last look over his shoulder before his companion pulled the front door open. 

The woman had followed them to the door of the hallway, and she was smiling as she watched them leave. “Stay safe out there, boys!” she called. 

Sasuke swore he saw her throw him a strange smile, but simply nodded his thanks before turning around. 

“Thank you, Baa-san!” Naruto said, waving as they left the house. 

Outside, Sasuke let out a faint sigh of relief as Naruto turned to him with sparkling eyes. 

“My hand feels so much better!” he said, stretching out his fingers and wiggling them as Sasuke watched. 

“Hey,” Naruto said then, and Sasuke met his eyes once again. “Thanks for what you did this morning. I didn’t realize it at the time, but the lady said that it was a really bad curse… so thank you, Sasuke.” 

“You would have done the same,” Sasuke replied before he could stop himself. He then turned to look down the city street they were standing on and coughed lightly. 

Naruto was silent for a moment, but thankfully he didn’t respond to Sasuke’s comment. “Where do you want to stay?” he asked instead. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke replied. “First place you see is fine.” 

Beside him, Naruto suddenly laughed. 

“What?” Sasuke asked, looking towards his friend out of the corner of his eye. 

“You’re gonna regret saying that,” Naruto said. “Look across the street.” 

He pointed down the row of houses, and Sasuke immediately spotted what he was looking at: the  _ Grand Hotel,  _ a building decorated in the old style and radiating warm light from its many windows. 

“You see that, Sasuke?” Naruto asked breathlessly from beside him. He suddenly sounded closer than Sasuke had thought he was. He turned and was met with bright eyes only inches from his own. “You said it yourself, ‘first place you see’...” Naruto mimicked him. 

Sasuke blinked slowly and looked away. “Usuratonkachi,” he said without venom. 

“Come onnn, we’ve been sleeping in the woods this whole time. What else am I supposed to do with all this money? Besides, my hand hurts, and my back...” 

“I didn’t say ‘no,’” Sasuke pointed out, ducking his head as he sensed Naruto’s smirk without having to see it. 

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t’ve let you,” Naruto replied briskly. “I want to stay there, it looks amazing. Do you think they have a buffet? Or a hot spring?” 

“I guess we’ll find out,” Sasuke replied dryly, baring his teeth in the beginnings of a smile but quickly snapping his mouth shut when he noticed Naruto looking at him. “Let’s go.” 

  
  


***

  
  


“Oh  _ fuck  _ yes,” Naruto breathed in relief, immediately throwing himself onto the large, plush bed, already wrinkling the meticulously smoothed quilt. “I haven’t felt a mattress like this in weeks. Sasuke, come and lie down!” 

Sasuke was still standing in the middle of the room, holding his knapsack in front of him as he looked around. The room was large, with a high ceiling and tall windows that looked out on the front street. It was no suite, but densely furnished with a low table, a washing-up area, a sitting area, and a bed. 

_ One bed. _

Sasuke looked behind him, and then to the far end of the room, wondering if he was missing something somehow, but his first thought proved to be correct. 

“Sasuke!” Naruto called, snapping him out of his reverie. “I’m serious, come and feel this. It’s so soft.” 

Sasuke coughed lightly. “Naruto…” he began, unsure of how to bring up his realization. 

But his companion was quicker. He sat up straight on the edge of the bed and looked over. “Yeah, I get it, there’s only one bed,” he said nonchalantly before sprawling back down on the mattress. 

Sasuke was taken aback. “Well, I―” he tried, but Naruto cut him off again. 

“What’s the big deal?” Naruto asked. “We used to share a  _ bedroll,  _ this bed is fucking huge compared to that. I bet I couldn’t even kick you if I tried! Besides, didn’t the guy at the front desk say this was the last room left?” 

“Yes,” Sasuke agreed. “But still, I could sleep on the floor, if you wanted.” 

A sigh of annoyance came from the depths of the pillow vortex now forming around Naruto’s body. “And waste our money? Don’t be a bastard, bastard,” he said. “Now let’s get washed up and see if there’s any food left! I’m starving.” 

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, part of him wanting to resist more, but when Naruto stood up and began to rummage around in his knapsack Sasuke simply shrugged, knelt down, and did the same. 

  
  


***

  
  


After washing up and donning slightly less travel-worn clothes, Naruto and Sasuke headed downstairs to look for food. On their way down the grand staircase, Naruto openly marveled at the expensive decor as Sasuke looked at it with a little more indifference. 

“It’s not bad,” he said when asked. Naruto rolled his eyes in response. 

When they arrived in the foyer, he suddenly tugged on Sasuke’s sleeve. “What’s that? Listen.” 

Now that he was listening, Sasuke realized he could hear faint music coming from the back of the building.

“Do you think the dining hall has a live band?” Naruto asked. “That’s so cool.” 

Sasuke hummed, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, and then pointed out a sign on the wall. “You’re in luck, idiot,” he said. “The kitchen is that way.” 

“All right, let’s go see!” Naruto said, bounding towards the hallway and sliding on the marble floor as he turned and waited for Sasuke. 

_ He’s so stupid,  _ Sasuke thought, but he found himself in strangely good spirits as he watched his friend scout ahead with enthusiasm. He sighed, suddenly remembering Naruto’s pallid face after being struck by Danzo’s curse only this morning.  _ Anything is better than that.  _

The two of them soon reached a secondary foyer. There were two doors facing each other here: one leading to the kitchen, another one evidently to the dining hall. 

The door to the dining hall was half-ajar, and there was a small group gathered in front of it. Observing closer, Sasuke realized that there appeared to be two or three couples, wearing formal dress and standing arm in arm, and two members of the hotel staff flanking the door.  _ It almost looks like— _

“It’s a party!” Naruto whispered loudly, craning his neck trying to see inside the room. 

Now that Naruto had said it, the sight made sense. The music they had heard earlier kicked in again, louder than before, and clearly coming from inside the hall. As Sasuke continued to watch, he saw one of the couples outside show the staff a ticket, and they were then shown inside. 

“It doesn’t look like we’ll be able to eat here tonight,” Sasuke observed. 

“Hmm, you’re right,” Naruto replied, clearly thinking. “Wanna try the kitchen?” 

“The kitchen…?” Sasuke asked.  _ What kind of person goes to the kitchen at a hotel?  _

He had only stayed somewhere like this once before, with his family when he was really young, but even then he had known that you don’t go to the kitchen. That is for the staff, and staff only. But—

“Sure, the kitchen!” Naruto said, sounding completely sure of himself. “They always have something there.” 

Sasuke hesitated for a moment but then agreed.  _ I don’t exactly feel like eating rations in our room, or going out into town and trying to find food there.  _

So he followed Naruto and walked through the door on the left, straight into the kitchen. 

The kitchen was brightly lit, and quieter than Sasuke had imagined it would be. Surprisingly, he couldn’t see anyone there: he had imagined a whole team of cooks, especially for such a large gathering. 

However, it wasn’t as if there was no evidence of the party. As Sasuke’s eyes moved past the rows of sinks and ovens at the front, he looked to the back of the room where there were long metal counters, lit up by overhead lights, and loaded with―

“ _ Score,”  _ Naruto said, pumping his fist. 

The counters were completely covered in food: every dish Sasuke could imagine, in quantities he couldn’t. He hadn’t believed himself to be too hungry before, but at the sight of all these dishes, he felt his mouth begin to water. 

Suddenly, he heard a voice. “Hi!” 

Sasuke started, and looked towards the source. 

The speaker was poking their head out from behind one of the tall ovens, which explained why neither of them had spotted them on their way in. They were a short young person with dark eyes, wearing a flour-streaked yet clearly high-quality apron. This was clearly where they worked. 

“Hi!” Naruto replied, waving slightly. “Uh, we’re staying here and looking for food, but the dining hall looks occupied. Do you have food for us,” — he squinted at the name tag on their chest— “Sora-san?” 

Sasuke looked over at Naruto rather incredulously―  _ How can he just ask that, with no shame?  _ he wondered. Naruto just caught his eye and gave him a slight smile. Sasuke shook his head, but let him go ahead. 

“Well,” the cook, Sora, who had approached them in the meantime, said, “Dinner for guests is technically already finished. But you two just arrived, didn’t you?” 

They looked at Sasuke this time, who found himself nodding in agreement. “We did,” he confirmed. “But if dinner is over, that’s fine. We can eat somewhere else.” 

Beside him, Naruto clicked his tongue in disapproval. 

Fortunately for Naruto, the chef appeared to be on his side: a grin spread over their face, and they opened their arms. “Well, don’t worry,” they said. “There is plenty here! You’re welcome to eat, as long as you don’t mind sitting in the back of the kitchen. It’s not as nice as the dining hall, but…” 

“No, that’s great!” Naruto interjected excitedly. “Isn’t it?” he asked Sasuke, who inclined his head towards Sora. 

“Thank you,” he said, and the bright-eyed chef laughed lightly. 

“It’s no problem at all. Follow me, I’ll show you two where you can sit.” Sora turned and began to walk towards the back of the kitchen. 

Sasuke looked over at Naruto, still slightly confused by the situation, but Naruto just gave him the thumbs up and followed the cook.

At the back of the kitchen was a simple door, which appeared to lead to the employees’ break room. There was a small wooden table against the wall, with two chairs on opposite sides. The room itself was quite shabby: the walls were white tile, the lighting was cheap, and there wasn’t much space, as it was a very narrow room running along the back of the kitchen. 

Naruto appeared to have no reservations about this, and immediately sat down. 

“Sorry, this isn’t the service we’re famed for,” Sora said as Sasuke sat down too. “But I promise the food is good!” 

“I’m sure it is,” Naruto replied warmly, and then looked behind him towards the other end of the room. “You’re sure no one else needs to sit here? We don’t mind taking the food back up to our room, or—” 

The cook waved him away. “No, no, it’s fine!” they said. “The food for the event is all finished, so I’m the only one still here. There will be people in the kitchen to bring out the food, but that’s all.” 

Sasuke had another thought. “That food out there. Isn’t it for the event? Are you sure you have any to spare?” 

Sora turned to face him, with that same warm smile they had given Naruto. “Don’t worry,” they said, voice dropping to a dramatic stage whisper. “These rich people never eat all the food anyway.” 

Naruto giggled at that, and Sasuke just shrugged.  _ Fair enough.  _

“Okay, I’ll be right back with your food,” the cook said before walking back out into the kitchen. 

Once they were gone, Naruto gave Sasuke a bright smile from across the small table. “What do you think?” he asked. 

“It’s… fine,” Sasuke said cautiously. 

Naruto smiled as he shook his head. “You’re such a bastard. This is the  _ life _ . We’re getting rich people food, a room to ourselves, and live music!” 

“It’s the least we deserve, paying this much for a place to stay,” Sasuke grumbled, but his tone was light. 

“Yeah, whatever,” Naruto replied. “Anyway, I know you don’t want to be in some dining hall with all these rich folks.” 

“Hm,” Sasuke replied. He had to admit that this secluded spot, though less aesthetically pleasing, was easier to unwind in than the large and public dining hall he had caught a glimpse of. 

A moment later Sora returned, balancing a large tray flat on their palm. “Your food, sirs,” they said in a painstakingly formal voice, which caused Naruto to giggle. 

Sasuke ducked his head and focused on the food in front of them instead. Considering the fact that these were extras, or leftovers, it looked like the best meal Sasuke had had in years.  _ I honestly can’t remember the last time I saw food like this.  _

There were abundant side dishes, a main course of sizzling meat, and tall glasses filled with ice water as well as small mugs holding fresh green tea.

Naruto moaned at the sight, a drawn-out sound which caused Sora to laugh as they took their leave. “Have a good meal!” they said. 

Naruto briefly met Sasuke’s eyes, then looked down at the meal. “Let’s eat, shall we?” he said, eyes gleaming with anticipation, and Sasuke nodded. 

“Hm,” he replied, and that was all the cue Naruto needed to dive straight into the food. 

  
  


***

  
  


The food was just as delicious as it had looked, and Sasuke leaned back in satisfaction after finishing his meal. Naruto just sighed in utter content. 

“Holy shit, that was the best,” he exhaled, patting his stomach. 

“I didn’t realize how hungry I was until I started eating,” Sasuke confessed. 

“I did!” Naruto exclaimed, suddenly alert again. 

Sasuke chuckled slightly. “Are you ready to go back upstairs?” 

“Shit, you’re right, we probably should. I bet that cook needs to lock the place up soon.” 

With that he stood up, scraping his chair across the tile floor. “I’m so full!” he exclaimed. 

“Not surprised,” Sasuke replied under his breath, before heading out of the room and into the kitchen. 

Sora was sitting on a tall stool next to one of the counters, reading a book under the one remaining light: everything else appeared to have been shut off for the night. 

“Hey, Sora-san!” Naruto called. “That food was incredible. Thank you so much!” 

The cook looked up from their book, smiling in response to Naruto’s enthusiasm. Then they hopped off their stool. “I’m glad you two enjoyed your meal!” they replied as they approached. “You seemed like you really needed some good food.” 

“Believe me, we did,” Naruto sighed. 

Sasuke coughed lightly. “How much will it cost?” he asked. 

Sora tilted their head slightly in his direction, then smiled. “Oh, no, no!” they exclaimed. “Don’t worry, the food is complimentary. We should really be paying you, since you had to eat in the kitchen…” 

“Don’t worry, we liked it there,” Naruto said. 

Sasuke, meanwhile, was frowning. Then he stuck a hand into his breast pocket and pulled out a few bills, holding them out to the cook. 

“Here,” he said. 

Sora looked between him and the money, looking amused but also slightly bewildered. “What? You really don’t have to―” 

Sasuke doubled down on the intensity of his gaze, still holding out his hand. “It’s for you, for making an exception. Also for putting up with this one,” he inclined his head slightly towards Naruto, who just grinned. 

The chef threw up their hands and smiled, simply shaking their head as they accepted the money. “Fine, if you insist,” they said. “But at least let me give you something in return.” 

They crouched down, grabbing two shot glasses and a bottle. They stood back up, quickly poured the drinks, and offered Naruto and Sasuke a glass each. “Here, for the road.”

The two shinobi gave each other a brief look. Alcohol hadn’t been on Sasuke’s itinerary for tonight― or even on this journey at all― but as he met Naruto’s eyes he figured one drink wouldn’t do any harm. 

“Thanks,” Naruto said as he accepted his, then raised it up slightly for a toast. “To you, Sora-san, for the best meal I’ve had in a month.” 

“To the chef,” Sasuke echoed, and downed his shot. 

The alcohol caught him ever so slightly off-guard: he hadn’t had a drink in a while, and after a large dinner the taste was more noticeable. 

Still, he finished it swiftly and handed his glass back to Sora just as Naruto did the same. 

“Thank you,” he said, slightly breathlessly, and then turned to Naruto. “Let’s go, hmm?” 

“Sounds good,” Naruto giggled, and then waved enthusiastically at the chef, who was still standing close by. 

Sora smiled in return. “Good night, you two!” they said, then appeared to think of something. “Oh, that’s right. I’m sorry to ask this, but would you two mind going out the emergency exit? There will be staff out in the foyer, and I’m… Well, I’m not sure whether they’d be happy with me letting guests into the kitchen.” They laughed slightly, sounding nervous, but Naruto swiftly waved their concerns away. 

“Don’t worry, we don’t mind!” he said. “Your secret is safe with us.” 

With that, they returned to the back room, where Sora opened a door for them, which led to a narrow carpeted staircase. “Here, just follow this to whichever floor you’re staying on,” they said cheerfully. 

“Good night, Sora-san! Hopefully we’ll see you tomorrow,” Naruto exclaimed, as Sasuke simply nodded his thanks. 

The door closed behind them, and then Naruto and Sasuke were alone on the dark and narrow hotel staircase. 

Naruto inexplicably started laughing, and Sasuke gave him a look. “What?” 

“Sorry, it’s just… Isn’t this fun?” Naruto asked. “It feels like we aren’t supposed to be here.” 

“That’s probably because we aren’t,” Sasuke pointed out with a wry smile. “Come on, let’s go. We just have to get to the fourth floor.” 

This ended up being easier said than done: the staircase was steep and lit only by emergency exit signs. On top of this, there were many service doors leading off the stairwell and even whole utility floors between the ones reserved for guests. By the time Sasuke had begun to consider the fact that they had been climbing for much too long, they had reached the top floor of the building. 

The top of the stairwell opened up into a carpeted hallway, which was decently lit and appeared to be completely deserted; it appeared to run directly through the hotel. All the way at the end of the corridor was a huge window, stretching from the floor to the ceiling.

Beside him, Naruto gasped. “I bet you can see the whole city from there!”

Sasuke stalled, unsure of whether it was wise to be on this floor where they didn’t belong. He still wasn’t eager to attract unnecessary attention, after all. But―

“C’mon!” Naruto said, and then he took Sasuke’s hand, and a strange feeling grasped his senses yet again― but, for once, it was a purely  _ good _ feeling and so he followed it down the hallway, jogging slightly as Naruto dragged him along. 

Naruto giggled as they moved, and Sasuke shushed him half-heartedly. “it’s the middle of the night, us-usuratonkachi,” he said, having to catch his breath as a result of the unexpected post-dinner exercise. “Shut the hell up…” 

Naruto kept laughing, but at least had the sense to try to muffle the sound in his sleeve. Sasuke would have told him off more, but the moment he and Naruto arrived at the window still hand in hand, he found he suddenly didn’t care about whether they were allowed to be there or not anymore.

“Look,” Naruto breathed. and so Sasuke did. 

He was right: you really  _ could  _ see the whole city from here. Indeed, Sasuke hadn’t realized how big this town was until the moment he saw it from above. He had been so worried coming in earlier this evening: about navigating the town, about being recognized, and most of all about Naruto’s fate. 

But now his friend was right beside him, his eyes reflecting the combined brightness of every light mapping the streets far below, and when Sasuke gazed into them he suddenly felt as though he could see more clearly than even his legendary doujutsu had ever allowed him to. 

They stood for several moments, losing themselves in the impressive sight stretching out beneath them until eventually, Sasuke’s attention returned little by little to the present.  _ Our hands are still touching,  _ he realized dimly, then, with much more focus.  _ Our hands are touching...  _

He withdrew slightly, and the motion appeared to help Naruto come back down to earth as well. For a moment a strange expression crossed Naruto’s face: then it was gone, and he smiled instead. “Let’s see if we can get our drunk asses back to our room this time,” he said. 

“I’m not drunk,” Sasuke said as they started back down the top floor hallway. 

“Sure, and you didn’t just spend ten minutes staring out a window,” Naruto retorted. 

They bickered in hushed tones, fully aware of the time of night and yet still struggling to contain themselves— at least, Naruto was. He laughed and snorted, and responded to Sasuke’s verbal jabs with yelps which nearly possessed Sasuke to press a hand over his friends’ mouth. So it was in this vaguely undignified way that they made their way downstairs and found their room at long last. 

Once inside, Naruto collapsed against the door in laughter. Sasuke stood in the middle of the room, watching him with slight incredulity. 

“Are you this much of a lightweight?” he asked, as Naruto wiped his eyes. 

“Oh, this isn’t really because I’m drunk,” his friend replied from the floor. He looked up at Sasuke with a new-found focus in his deep blue eyes. “I just… I’m happy, you know?” 

Sasuke froze in his tracks.  _ He’s happy… now? Away from his home, away from his friends, away from his dream? He’s happy… with me?  _

His tipsy mind couldn’t begin to wrap his head around the concept, but Naruto drove the topic further. 

“Are you happy, Sasuke?” he asked. 

Sasuke inhaled sharply, looking down at Naruto, who was still curled up on the ground in front of the door, smiling as if he didn’t have a care in the world. 

_ Could I ever feel like that?  _

But before he could consider the question further, Naruto had already pulled himself upright and was now headed towards the bed…  _ the bed.  _

Sasuke had completely forgotten about the one-bed situation until now, and for a moment he hesitated. But after finally arriving at their room after such a long day and night, he found he didn’t really care. He stripped off his shirt with little thought, pulled on his sleeping trousers, and got into bed, sinking down into the soft mattress with a sigh. 

“You were right,” he said suddenly, hand thrown over his eyes. 

“Wha?” Naruto asked, slurring his words. Sasuke felt the bed shift as his friend climbed in beside him. 

“About the bed. It really is soft.” 

“I knowww,” Naruto moaned blissfully, and for some reason, Sasuke squirmed. 

“‘M so tired,” Naruto said after they had basked in silence for a few moments. 

“Hm,” Sasuke agreed. 

He paused briefly, then said the words which had been at the forefront of his mind all night. “Naruto, about what you asked me earlier… This wasn’t just fine. I meant to say that it was good.” 

Naruto snorted beside him: Sasuke knew he was smiling widely in that certain way of his. “I knew it, you cold-hearted bastard.” 

Then he yawned loudly. “I’m so tired,” he said again.

Sasuke hummed in response. “Let’s sleep, then.” 

“Sounds good. Night, Sas’ke.”

Naruto’s last words were muffled, and Sasuke opened his eyes just in time to see the blonde sleepily grab hold of a pillow and cradle it to his chest, smiling into it. 

“Goodnight, Naruto,” he whispered, taking in the sight before allowing his eyes to fall shut. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, this was one of my favorite chapters to write. Naruto and Sasuke are just so cute and stupid. I hope you all liked reading it too! Also, do you think that anything will happen in next week's chapter as a result of sharing a bed, and if so, what? I'm curious to hear your reactions, hehe. 
> 
> Until next week! 
> 
> \- Skadi


	13. Aching by Your Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke wake up in each other's arms: Sasuke has a terrible realization.

Sasuke woke up slowly, sunlight searing straight through his eyelids, rendering him reluctant to open them. His body felt numb, but pleasantly so, as if he were suspended in a cocoon of warmth and softness. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt this comfortable, and for a few moments he allowed himself to simply bask in it. He continued to struggle to find the will to open his eyes: he thought that just maybe, if he could keep them closed tightly enough, he might be able to stay in this comfortable limbo for the rest of time. 

Despite this urge to remain passive, to enjoy this peace a little longer, it wasn’t long before his instincts began to kick in. Sasuke had always found that, out of all of his five senses, his sight was always the first to return after a deep sleep or bout of unconsciousness, activating just before any of the other four. Whether this was simply a quirk of his body or a feature of his Uchiha heritage, he couldn’t say. 

And so, eventually, he opened his eyes despite his body’s protests. The hotel room was bathed in golden sunlight ― the window directly in front of the bed had a blind drawn over it, but the others had been left uncovered. Apart from the change in lighting, everything in Sasuke’s field of view appeared exactly the same as it had the night before. He appeared to have not moved at all during the night, which added to this illusion. If it were not for how rested he felt, he might have believed that no time had passed at all since last night ― that he had merely blinked and opened his eyes to see that someone had turned the lights on.

However, there was something rather obvious missing from the view he remembered ― or rather, someone. Memories of last night, still slightly muddled by sleep and alcohol, were returning, and he realized that Naruto was supposed to be lying across from him, on the other side of the bed.

There was evidence his friend had been there ― the one-bed situation hadn’t been a dream after all ― such as a clearly rumpled quilt and a pillow lying abandoned on the side of the bed. And yet Naruto himself was nowhere to be seen. 

That’s when Sasuke’s sense of touch returned. 

There was  _ something _ tickling his chin,  _ something _ pressed against his chest,  _ something  _ wrapped around his waist, and  _ something _ tangled between his legs. 

The  _ something _ was Naruto, or rather the parts of his body: his hair, face, arms, and legs, respectively. There wasn’t a single inch of his body that wasn’t pressed against Sasuke’s, and he appeared to have become the living replacement for the pillow Naruto had fallen asleep holding on to so tightly. 

Right away, Sasuke knew there was a problem. What ought to be pooling in his stomach was something cold, perhaps indifference, anxiety, or vague unease; but instead there was only warmth, and the temptation to stay in his current position growing alongside it. 

The sheer wrongness of his feelings caused him to immediately spring into action. His first instinct was to free himself, to escape from Naruto’s grasp and restore an acceptable distance between their bodies without allowing himself a single second more to consider how the sensation of Naruto’s skin against his own made him feel. 

As quietly and quickly as he possibly could, Sasuke slipped out of Naruto’s grasp, adrenaline spiking through him as if he were escaping from the clutches of a deadly enemy on a high-ranking mission. 

Thanks to both his stealth skills and the fact that Naruto was probably the heaviest sleeper Sasuke had ever encountered, he managed to slip away and dart into the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and breathed a quiet sigh before sinking down on the nearest surface, which happened to be the edge of the bathtub.

Running his hands through his hair, he briefly tried to focus his thoughts on something,  _ anything  _ else but, as stubborn of a shinobi as he was, even Sasuke was able to recognize a losing battle when he encountered one. 

He couldn't deny that he had awoken in absolute bliss that morning, surrounded by Naruto’s warmth. Even in a half-asleep state, his memory was far too clear for his own good: Sasuke could remember the way his fingertips, resting on his sleeping friend’s chest, had felt as if they were on fire, and he had been so much more conscious than he should be of the small sounds Naruto was making in his sleep and the subtle scent which surrounded him, clinging to Sasuke’s clothes as they lay in each others’ arms. 

Worse still, he could tell that these feelings were far from new: this had been dwelling in his heart for years and years. This truth was more obvious because of how intimately they’d held each other, but this was far from the only contact Sasuke could remember, and now their significances were making themselves known in excruciating detail. How he felt whenever their hands had brushed together while running by each others’ sides, or that time Naruto had brushed his hair over his face, or not even twenty-four hours ago when Naruto had been lying beneath him, fragile and in danger but at peace and  _ alive _ and Sasuke, brimming with relief and this feeling he had come to associate with touching Naruto, had bent down and― 

Sasuke’s eyes fell shut, trying to block out the memory of what he had done, but he knew that it was already too late for him. He had succumbed to the power of this feeling long ago, longer than he ever could have realized, and now he could only curse himself for being so blind. 

That time on the hilltop, when Naruto had been just waking up from Danzo’s curse, everything had happened so fast― Sasuke had been able to explain away his action as something spur-of-the-moment, only to completely put it out of his mind, almost as if he had imagined the whole thing. But now, after waking up so close to Naruto and having his heart permeated by the exact same feeling, he couldn’t help but wonder, and as soon as he began to consider the possibilities his cursed logic had already found an explanation for his behavior. 

_ I wanted to feel him.  _

Yes, Sasuke had wanted to feel Naruto: this morning, and on the hilltop, and that time by the pool, and so many times before then that it was overwhelming. There was something about Naruto’s touch that drew him in and warmed him, and for a small moment he wondered why that was. 

But the answers to this question, too, soon began to reveal themselves with devastating clarity: Sasuke remembered moments he’d shared with Naruto which had confused him at the time, but now seemed to be linked in a way so obvious he couldn’t believe he had missed it. Their most recent confrontation at the Final Valley, for example― the way Naruto’s breath had heated his chin and the way Sasuke had practically begged to fight him.  _ You have a friend to gain,  _ Naruto had said while backing down, and Sasuke hadn’t realized then why that phrase made him so angry. Oh, he had surely found a justification for it at the time, some convoluted reason as to why he wasn’t allowed to have friends. 

_ But maybe there was another reason.  _

Part of him was screaming at himself to  _ stop  _ this train of thought immediately, because no good could possibly come from it, but he couldn’t help himself anymore― he was already far past the point of questioning himself and instead could only look on as cool logic led to blinding realization which rose up at the edges of his consciousness, towering over everything he thought he had known to be true. 

_ Because friends don’t want to touch each other the way I did that time. And friends don’t wake up in each others’ arms with this feeling setting them alight. And men do not kiss other men out of relief at seeing him alive and well.  _

For a moment, Sasuke could only sit there with the weight of his realization. Then he stood up, walked towards the sink, and stared at his reflection in the mirror. 

His legendary eyes stared back at himself accusingly.  _ All this power in your vision, and yet you’ve been blind to the truth all along.  _

His Sharingan and Rinnegan always managed to remind him of the past. These eyes didn’t belong to him, after all, and he was forever cursed to remember how he had stolen them. _They look strange in my face, anyone can tell that they’re not supposed to be there._ _Too angular, a little smaller than they ought to be._ Sasuke shook his head, trying to refocus: rationally, he knew that no one could tell these eyes had belonged to someone else, and that his guilt-ridden mind was only playing tricks on him. 

He turned the tap, gathering ice-cold water in his palms and splashing it in his face. His cheeks remained as pallid as they always were, and his eyes still didn’t look quite right.  _ Maybe if _ ―

Sasuke’s thought was interrupted by a knock on the bathroom door. 

“Sasuke, are you in there?”   


His breath caught in his throat― lost in thought, he had nearly forgotten Naruto was still out there. 

_ Naruto doesn’t know about my eyes,  _ he realized. Faint nausea welled up in his throat, but he knew he had to speak up. 

“Yes, I’m here.” His voice was steady. 

“Oh, okay,” Naruto replied warmly. Sasuke could see his small smile even when they were separated by a door. “Hey, don’t hog the bathroom too long, alright? I need to shower, too.” 

“I’ll be out soon,” Sasuke managed to say; if Naruto gave an answer to that, the sound of blood rushing in his ears prevented him from hearing it. 

_ I stole these eyes because I set an evil goal for myself, to kill the people my brother had tried to protect. My goal was originally noble: to restore the name of Uchiha, to kill a cold-blooded murderer. But it became corrupted during my youth, because of my selfish desires.  _

His blood ran cold as his thoughts continued to race.  _ Naruto’s goal was noble as well: to become Hokage in order to help everyone living in the Village. But during his youth, this changed as well: his goal became to save  _ me,  _ instead. He said so himself, that time: that he couldn’t become Hokage until he had gotten me to return home. His goal has become a selfish one, just as mine did.  _

Sasuke gripped the edges of the sink with increasing strength, unable to look himself in the eyes anymore.  _ I am Naruto’s corruption. I am his new and evil goal. I am temptation, leading him astray from his path of light.  _

Because Sasuke knew what Naruto was capable of. He had seen the Jinchuuriki overcome by rage, willing to hurt anyone who stood between him and what he wanted. And he had heard the words from Naruto’s own mouth: he had hated Konoha once, too. 

And still, he and Sasuke were different. Sasuke had walked a shadowy path from the start, thanks to the darkness of the Uchiha legacy looming over him. Naruto, though, was light: he was inherently good, and only threatened to let the darkness in when he was hurt. 

_ So we have to return to Konoha,  _ Sasuke realized.  _ Naruto needs to rediscover his true goal, and become less involved with me. I can’t allow myself to remain that which he wants most, or I will have led him into ruin and corrupted the heart of the man I love.  _

A crack appeared in the porcelain of the sink: Sasuke sprang away from it, forcing his body to release the tension which had built up inside him. He exhaled harshly, feeling his lungs burn as he attempted to calm himself. 

_ It’s too late for me. I have already committed my sins and dedicated my life to repentance. But it’s not too late for him.  _

He smiled grimly, the nausea within slowly fading and making room for resolution, the cold kind he was so familiar with.  _ Maybe I can do one good thing for him, after all. I won’t let Naruto become like me, not now or ever. _

Then Naruto was banging on the door again, and Sasuke had to open it. He slipped a mask over his face before he faced his companion: now that he had a plan, it fit naturally overtop of his emotions. Naruto didn’t seem to have noticed their accidental contact the night before, or Sasuke’s breakdown just then, and the Uchiha was determined to reveal neither of those things. 

  
  


***

  
  


They ate in the official dining room this time, which was every bit as luxurious as Naruto had hoped― a fact he expressed rather openly, several times in a row. 

“These chairs are made of  _ velvet,  _ isn’t that cool? I bet not even the chairs in the Hokage’s office are this expensive…” 

Sasuke deftly nodded and hummed in response to Naruto’s enthusiasm. To his dismay, he was already finding it harder and harder not to stare now that he knew the true nature of his feelings towards his companion. He glared at himself internally. 

“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto stage whispered as he leaned forward. “This place is fancy and all, but don’t you kinda miss our kitchen spot from last night?” 

Sasuke swallowed as images of the previous night in said kitchen overwhelmed him― the low lighting and the small table and the way Naruto had smiled at him before tucking into his food― and sniffed. “It was alright.” 

“Aw, you asshole,” Naruto laughed easily, thankfully leaning back once more. “You totally had a good time. I could tell.”

_ It was far better than that.  _ “If you say so.”

Fortunately, their food arrived just then. The artful presentation, as well as the superb taste, soon distracted Naruto enough for Sasuke not to have to dodge any more awkward questions. 

After breakfast, they went back up to their room and gathered their belongings. Sasuke gave the room one last look as they left, this having been certainly their most memorable lodging on the journey; he couldn’t help but give the one bed a small glare, as well.  _ If only there had been two. _

Deep down, Sasuke knew that his realization had had little to do with the simple lack of a second bed in their hotel room. This had been a long time coming; perhaps he had even always known, and simply chosen to repress it.  _ That wouldn’t be the first time.  _

They exited the hotel and found themselves on the street out front, where the blinding morning sunlight was reflecting off of every surface in a way reminiscent of the bright lights they had seen the night before. Then, Sasuke’s newfound knowledge turned him towards Naruto; he looked his companion straight in the eye as he said decisively: 

“We can start our journey back to Konoha today.” 

Naruto looked surprised at first, then his expression fell into confusion. “What?” 

“I’ve already found what I was looking for,” Sasuke said, hoping Naruto wouldn’t question his relatively flimsy excuse. In truth, he still had several more sites he wanted to visit: an old hideout of Orochimaru’s was relatively nearby, and he still wanted to try to find out what had happened to the hideout in Echoing Valley Town.

But everything was different now. More destinations meant more time on the road with Naruto, something Sasuke knew he could no longer risk.  _ You remember what you did on the hilltop,  _ he reminded himself,  _ and what you felt this morning.  _

He knew in his heart that this was the last revelation he ever wanted to come to light, a great monster that dwarfed every other secret he had ever held from Naruto. 

So he forced himself to look at the other man, assumed a casual expression, and spoke. “The information I got from Danzo’s hideout is all I needed for now,” he clarified. “I’d like to get it back to Konoha, and not risk losing it or having it stolen.” 

Naruto tilted his head inquisitively. “We’ve been gone for around a month,” he mused, “I guess it could be time to return. Although to be honest, I thought you’d be gone for longer.” 

Sasuke forced a small smile. “Plans change,” he said simply, and as he turned away his fake smile morphed into a grimace as he reflected on the irony of his actions.  _ Strange,  _ he thought,  _ that even my hatred for Konoha is no match for my desire to protect Naruto. That once I would have done anything to avoid returning to that place with him, and now it is all I want to do.  _

Fortunately, Naruto seemed to accept this idea. He began to march ahead, taking confident strides, his hair lit up by the morning sun. 

A few seconds later he turned, squinting slightly. “Wait… Which way is Konoha, again?” he asked. 

Sasuke’s mouth quirked slightly upwards. “You’re going the right way,” he said, before promptly silencing his heart when Naruto gave him a wide grin and continued his ridiculous walk.

  
  


***

  
  


The day passed relatively quickly, in a haze of unchanging terrain and slow movements and periodic rests for Naruto’s sake, which Sasuke had to force him to take, as he was apparently too stubborn to acknowledge that being struck by a fatal curse warranted some recovery time. Before Sasuke knew it, evening was approaching. 

“Are you ready to set up camp for the night?” Naruto asked once the trees were illuminated orange by the setting sun, and Sasuke nodded. 

For the better part of the day, he had managed to avoid dwelling on the events of that morning, even bantering with Naruto in a seemingly normal way as the mask he had donned earlier began to feel more natural. But now that they were settling down for the night, now that there was nothing to distract him and it was just the two of them under the stars out in the middle of nowhere, his body was beginning to feel heavier than it should: as if he was losing ownership over it in the same way he was his thoughts, which were beginning to spiral within him. 

_ No matter how I act, he’s going to realize something is wrong,  _ Sasuke thought feverishly,  _ through the bond, if nothing else.  _

He began to count the number of days it would take them to get back to Konoha on his fingers.  _ Naruto still has to rest, so we will be traveling slower,  _ he considered,  _ and he could decide to stop somewhere as well.  _

Anxiety, slowly becoming more familiar, coursed through his veins.  _ Leaving Naruto is out of the question, hurting him only fuels his dedication to me. I will have to stay with him until we arrive at Konoha, and try to distance myself from him in such a way that he doesn’t notice, so that he can focus on the Village and his goal instead of me. _

Even as he tried to plan this, to rationalize and make it all more bearable, his uncertainty continued to grow. 

By nightfall, after they had eaten a dinner consisting of leftovers from the hotel, he was cursing himself for being unable to relax.  _ Nothing has changed,  _ he reminded himself sternly,  _ whatever these feelings are, they existed long before you gave a name to them. There is no need to act differently just because of a change of phrasing.  _

A memory placed itself at the forefront of his mind unbidden: that morning he had lain on his presumed deathbed at the bottom of the Valley of the End, questioning Naruto in a desperate attempt to understand their relationship to each other before he died. 

_ What exactly does “friend” mean to you, Naruto? Even after every answer you gave me, I still have never understood.  _

All he knew for certain was that Naruto’s definition didn’t include what the most hidden parts of him hoped it would. 

The voice of the man in question broke through his thoughts at that moment, sounding to Sasuke’s muffled ears as if it was coming from far away. “I’m going to sleep, good night!”

“Hmm,” Sasuke muttered shortly in reply, staring up at the stars. 

As silence fell over their campsite the cold began to steal in, and it took Sasuke’s breath along with it. He turned onto his side, facing away from Naruto, and curled further into himself. 

_ It’s freezing.  _

He remembered the way he had fallen asleep the night before, staring at Naruto’s calm and sleepy smile and basking in his cheerful presence,

He remembered how he had woken up that morning, warmed to his core by the feeling of Naruto asleep in his arms. 

He remembered that one fleeting moment he had felt Naruto’s lips on his own in a kiss, so much gentler than the one they had shared as children, yet still just as taboo and uncertain as such contact between them had ever been… 

And he remembered last night’s exploit, the way Naruto had collapsed against their door, laughing and out of breath, looked up at Sasuke and told him he was happy. 

_ Are you happy?  _ Naruto had asked Sasuke right afterward, and at the time, he hadn’t even known where to start looking for the answer. 

Now, as he stared at a tree trunk a few feet away and wished he was watching Naruto’s sleeping face or, better yet, holding him in his arms again, Sasuke bitterly thought he had found the answer. 

_ I could be. But now I know for certain that I never will.  _

He eventually drifted off to sleep, finally succumbing to the heaviness of his limbs as the cold chipped away at his bones and imbued his chest with frost.

  
  


***

  
  


He woke up shivering, so much colder than his fiery Uchiha blood would ever be able to bear. He could barely feel his own heartbeat, and for a few moments, he wondered if this was how he was going to die.  _ Death is cold, so much colder than even the most barren life,  _ a chilling voice he couldn’t quite place echoed in his head, residue of his nightmares, and Sasuke swallowed back poisonous nausea as his frame shook again. 

“Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke,” his name was being said repeatedly, but by no clamoring choir of dead clan members this time. It was Naruto, and a deep and glowing comfort present in his voice was cutting through the layers of dissociation separating Sasuke from the night around them. 

A burning sensation raced through him, sending him into freefall back from the space of his dream into his own body, and he realized that Naruto’s hand was on his shoulder, trying to guide him into a sitting position. He begged himself to resist the contact, realizing his body’s pathetic weakness to Naruto’s stoic fire, but whatever resolve he attempted to build immediately shattered like glass and he shot upright, chasing the contact, closing his eyes as Naruto’s arm slid around his shoulders completely. 

The touch was warming his skin, but his heart was still as cold as ice. 

“Breathe, Sasuke, breathe,” Naruto said, “You’re not doing it yet.”

Choking slightly, he managed to regulate it to a mostly normal speed: controlling his breathing was something he had become well-versed in. Still, it did nothing to comfort him. 

“―nightmare, right?” Naruto was saying. “You woke me up... could hear your thoughts… my sleep… the bond.” 

Sasuke barely took in what he was saying― Naruto’s words were fluctuating in and out of hearing,

And yet the sounds of Naruto’s voice were washing over him like warm water, and even without him properly understanding the meaning of each word, they were beginning to thaw some of the cold within him; he was so desperate for that sensation that he remained in place, listening more closely. 

“I couldn’t tell what you were dreaming about, but it sounded bad. I was worried, Sasuke. But you’re here now, you know that, right? It wasn’t real, and you’re safe.”

He shuffled further forward, getting closer still. Sasuke’s need and fear both rose up, their conflict raging inside his body. “You still aren’t talking to me Sasuke, you know that, right? That means you’re still in shock, even though you’re breathing right. So I’m going to hold you, okay? I promise it helps, even if you don’t believe me right now.” 

Sasuke’s fear won the battle inside him, but when he tried to flee he found his body entirely solidified once again. The cold had overtaken him completely, it was holding him prisoner in numbness except for that damned sharp pain in his heart which never went away, it never would,  _ death is cold, but isn’t life cold too? How could anything be colder than this, I don’t understand, please, I _ **―** __

But suddenly it wasn't so cold anymore. 

Naruto had moved closer still, kneeling down in front of him, and wrapped him in a complete embrace. The touch was warmth and healing in itself, sending a powerful sweep of the fire his veins and ventricles craved so badly straight into his heart and Sasuke could feel layers of cold pain melting and evaporating with every breath he took. Naruto was giving him the heat he needed to survive, the warmth his fear had stolen from him, and as his body regained its ability to move and he started to feel his heartbeat again, he felt a brief sense of relief. 

And then Naruto murmured by his ear: “The bond tells me things, you know. I felt your pain even when I was asleep, and I know where it hurts for you. So I’ll help you, alright? Because you’re my friend.” 

_ Friend,  _ Sasuke repeated mutely to himself,  _ his friend.  _

A sudden gasp tore itself from his lips, and before he could register what was happening or try to stop it, tears welled up in his eyes and began to roll down his cheeks as soon as he blinked. Then silent sobs began to shake his frame as tears chilled his eyes and face all over again, and his heart searched for any outlet it could to rid itself of the bitterness within.

“Sasuke,” Naruto murmured, sounding truly sorrowful and understanding, and it hurt because Sasuke knew that he  _ was  _ sorry and he  _ did  _ understand, but it still wasn’t enough, and it would never be. 

_ Because you don’t love me. And― _

“And that’s okay,” he choked out, the final piece of the thought escaping his lips. 

One of Naruto’s hands moved to Sasuke’s chest and began to massage over where his heart was; his palm and fingertips spread wide, tingling on his skin through his shirt. His heart beat louder, and every one of its pulses against Naruto’s touch had him feeling more and more as if Naruto was holding his heart in his hand, trying to exorcise the ache which plagued it. 

_ Oh,  _ he thought, because this was so much more relieving than anything he thought he could ever experience, and then  _ oh,  _ because he had started to cry harder than before, eyes which didn’t belong to him shedding tears which were  _ only _ his, and painfully so. 

“Sasuke,” Naruto asked, staying calm although his tone was laden with worry. “Am I hurting you?” 

_ Yes. No.  _ Sasuke didn’t know how to answer the question, but then Naruto began to retract his hand from his chest, distracting him. Sasuke needed the touch like an addict; before Naruto could draw away, he grabbed Naruto's wrist tightly and held on, making sure the hand stayed where it was. He continued to cry, not out of pain so much as the realization that he would never feel this comfort again. 

_ This is the first time he has held me in this way, and it has to be the last, for his own sake. To allow myself this again would be to bring us closer together, and that will end up ruining him.  _

_ I shouldn’t do this,  _ he knew,  _ I shouldn’t introduce myself to what it feels like to be loved by him.  _ More tears rolled down his nose, dripping onto Naruto’s hand as Sasuke leaned against the touch.  _ But I’m weak.  _

Sasuke had mourned for many people in the past, but this sadness was more layered than that which is felt for someone who dies. This was grief for lost love, for the single comfort he had indulged in, for the life he wanted, for his and Naruto’s connection. Sitting there, completely enveloped in Naruto’s comfort for the first and the last time, he grieved for all of it. 

Naruto continued to send warmth straight to Sasuke’s heart, the energy containing an emotional balm that sealed every crack and soothed every wound in just the right way.  _ He understands,  _ Sasuke knew,  _ he knows everything about my heart, except for what it wants from him. And that’s how it has to stay for the rest of our lives.  _

“I’m sorry,” he said, his voice hoarse, and Naruto seemed relieved to hear him speak again, although he was still concerned. 

“Sasuke, don’t apologize,” he said. “It happens to me too, you know it does. You helped me before, don’t you remember?” 

One last tear rolled down his cheek as he finally looked up to meet Naruto’s eyes. Looking into them was tragic: Sasuke could so easily see that comfort and care engraved within them, the very thing he wanted. And yet knew he must always resist it, in order to save the man he loved so much. 

“Are you feeling better?” Naruto asked carefully. “You were really out of it. I was kind of scared, actually.” He laughed slightly, the calm facade Sasuke had perceived slowly fading back and being replaced by more familiar awkwardness. His grip began to relax as well, although he kept a hand on Sasuke’s shoulder. 

“Yes,” Sasuke replied. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t have to thank me, either,” Naruto said. “I’m just thankful I was able to help you this time.” 

_ He wishes he could have treated me this way all along,  _ Sasuke thought, biting the inside of his cheek as he turned his head away.  _ This is the extent to which I have already taken over his heart.  _

He wished he could have recognized any of this earlier, worked to distance himself from Naruto rather than trying to tear himself away in the very way which only drew the idiot closer. 

_ It’s too late for that. All I can do now is make sure nothing like this happens again, that he never touches me or sees my grief.  _

“You should go back to sleep,” he said, shrugging his shoulder slightly. 

Naruto didn’t let go of it. “Are you sure?” he asked. 

“Yes,” Sasuke said, “I’m fine. I’ll sleep, too.” 

Naruto let out a long exhale; Sasuke could feel it against his cheek. “Okay,” he finally said. “But let me know if you need anything at all.”   


“Hm,” Sasuke replied, speaking simply again. 

Finally, Naruto moved away from him, returning to his own bedroll. Sasuke braced himself for the loss of contact beforehand and felt nothing more than a dull pang. 

“Goodnight, Sasuke,” Naruto whispered from behind him. 

Sasuke swallowed. “Goodnight,” he said. 

It took him a long time to fall asleep again: when he did he had no more nightmares, but instead dreamed of Naruto’s laugh as they had raced through empty hotel hallways and looked at city lights. 

He wasn’t sure which dream hurt him more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> those of you who commented on chapter 12 seemed to believe we had already reached smooth sailing waters... SIKE! we're only 13/20 chapters in, after all <3 
> 
> to look on the bright side, at least sasuke has FINALLY acknowledged his true feelings for naruto! ...ok, so maybe he's convinced that they're evil and will lead to naruto's corruption, but it's still progress, right? right? 
> 
> let me know what you think, and I will see you next week whether you want me to or not ;)


	14. Even If You Hide, It Doesn't Go Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of his breakdown, Sasuke decides to do a better job of concealing his feelings, while also trying to discern what Naruto is thinking. This is complicated when Naruto invites him to spend the day in a popular tourist village on their route.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter is a day late! i was dealing with a personal issue. this chapter is one of the longest, so hopefully that can help to make up for it... anyway, thank you for understanding and please enjoy :)

Unfortunately for Sasuke, morning came as usual. His eyes snapped open, limbs already aching under the weight of yesterday’s shame; he quickly forced himself into a sitting position, knowing it wouldn’t get any easier to summon the will to get up and that he might as well get it over with immediately. 

The sight of Naruto lying back on his own bedroll, several meters away, sent only a dull pang through Sasuke’s barely beating heart, stirring the light nausea deep within him. He dragged his fingers through his unwashed hair, mouth twisting as memories of last night began to return no matter how hard he tried to block them out. 

He washed up in a nearby creek and then sat down on a stone, that was just beginning to warm under the rising sun, with a map he intended to study before Naruto woke up. 

It did not take long for his companion to do exactly that; Sasuke’s eyes flickered upwards and back down when Naruto began to stir. 

For a moment Naruto was silent, and Sasuke’s anxiety spiked as he stared at the map so hard that he swore it began to shift out of existence, influenced by the Rinnegan. 

Then Naruto finally spoke. “Good morning!” he called out, doing a commendable job of sounding like he hadn’t woken up in Sasuke’s arms less than twenty-four hours ago, or held the Uchiha as he had cried for seemingly no reason just the night before. 

Such a simple, everyday phrase, and yet it caught Sasuke’s breath right there in his lungs, forcing his eyes to open wider and his throat to contract. He was thankful his downturned face was hidden from Naruto’s view. 

“Hm,” he replied simply, because that was all he could bear to say. He listened as Naruto stood up.

“I’m going to wash up,” he announced, and Sasuke decided not to risk speaking again so he just nodded. 

Naruto returned all too quickly, rummaging around in their bags which were laying across the clearing. 

“Have you eaten?” he asked, “Or can I take all of this?” 

“Yeah, go ahead,” Sasuke lied, attempting to use his time-tested powers of noncommittal grunting and resting bitch face to discourage Naruto from talking to him.

Naruto made a sound of excitement in reply and began to eat his breakfast with relish. Sasuke suppressed a fresh twinge of nausea. 

Eventually, Naruto looked up from his food and noticed the map Sasuke was holding. “What’s the plan for today?” 

Sasuke didn’t look up. “I don’t really know,” he admitted. 

“That’s not like you,” he said. “You’re the least spontaneous bastard I’ve ever met sometimes.” 

_ Is he seriously saying that to someone who started sobbing all over him last night? _ “Do you have any ideas, then?”

Sasuke regretted asking this the moment he finally looked up and saw Naruto’s eyes gleaming with delight, and his teeth bared in a scheming grin. 

“What,” he grumbled. 

“I just think we haven’t done much sightseeing, you know, Sasuke?” 

Sasuke frowned. “Sightseeing?” 

“Yeah! ‘Cause I know this is a mysterious journey and everything, but I don’t usually get away from the Village like this. So I want to go out and do something with you!”   


Sasuke’s eyes resumed their stare at the map with even more intensity than before― at this rate, he really was going to incinerate the fragile piece of paper, if he didn’t shred it with his shaking hands first. 

“Something?” he asked.

“Yeah!” Naruto said. “It’s been too long since we did anything casual. Like, what if we went to, uh…” he trailed off. “Can I see that?” 

Sasuke reluctantly let go of the map and decided to brace his hands on his knees instead. 

“Here!” Naruto said. “Water Hollow Village. It’s very popular, but I’ve never been before… And look, it’s so close! We could probably get there in less than two hours.” 

Sasuke took the map back, peering at the spot where Naruto had pointed. He wasn’t familiar with the village, but Naruto was right that it was close by.  _ I have no reason to go, but it will likely not put me at more of a disadvantage than a day of travel at his side would. And if going there distracts Naruto from the events of last night, that is a small price to pay. _

His eyes narrowed at his own observation.  _ Why does Naruto want to spend time with me after yesterday, anyway? He hasn’t even demanded an explanation for my behavior.  _ Sasuke could feel his mind filling with suspicion.  _ What is he planning?  _

Thinking further, he noticed that Naruto didn’t seem angry or awkward, and that there wasn’t any tension in the air either; quite unlike the time  _ Naruto  _ had been the one to break down. Sasuke realized he was grateful for his companion’s attitude― a feeling which was followed by newfound shame for just how thoughtlessly he had acted towards Naruto in the past.  _ When he cried in his sleep, I couldn’t even bring myself to speak to him the next day. But now that I have done the same, he is showing nothing but kindness.  _

Still, Sasuke couldn’t help but wonder.  _ Is this how Naruto would treat anyone who broke down in front of him?  _ Thinking back to various moments in the past, times during which Naruto had been practical to the point of impatience, he decided that this wasn’t the case.  _ Naruto is the man who called me out for ‘sulking’ after our battle at the Valley of the End,  _ Sasuke remembered with a small smile.  _ So either he has changed more than I thought during the last several months, or he is treating me differently than he used to.  _

_ But why would he do that? Has he become even more obsessed with me, even though I have returned? I thought his fixation would have begun to wane by now. _

Frowning, he thought of his own behavior towards Naruto and the ways it had shifted recently. He supposed he had become slightly more open towards the other man, both in the sense of adjusting his routines as they lived on the road together, and permitting a new sort of trust to form between them. Additionally, he had begun to allow Naruto to view some of his innermost thoughts and experiences, especially since the incident at Danzo’s hideout.

He remembered the anguish which had crossed Naruto’s expression all too often during those early days of their travels, and swallowed forcefully.  _ There has to be a limit to our closeness so that his fixation on me doesn’t grow further, but I never want to cause him such pain again.  _

But then Sasuke thought of the more recent past, and a shadow fell over his face.  _ There is no longer any doubt as to the true nature of my feelings for Naruto _ .  _ I love him, and in a way I probably always have. Isn’t that very feeling what I ran from in the first place, and what I fought so bitterly against during every one of our duels?  _

His heartbeat quickened as he considered new possibilities.  _ Naruto’s behavior towards me is definitely different. Does this mean he has noticed a shift in my behavior since yesterday? Or… Could it be his own feelings that have changed?  _

The air around them was quiet, but Sasuke’s thoughts were almost audible.  _ Yesterday I focused on preventing him from learning the truth of my feelings, but in doing so I might have aroused his suspicion. That is the power of our bond, after all; it can be both a blessing and a curse, and hiding is impossible.  _

_ That being said, Naruto has been oblivious to the obvious in the past. It’s just as likely that he hasn’t noticed the inconsistencies in my actions, or explained them away somehow, and that he’s acting differently of his own accord.  _

Sasuke’s frown deepened.  _ I can’t risk alerting Naruto to my true feelings. I have to follow his lead and eliminate all potential reason to suspect me. This way, if he continues to act strangely, I will know that it is  _ his _ feelings that have changed.  _

With this decision made, Sasuke looked ahead with an expression of grim triumph which abruptly faded when he made eye contact with a very impatient Naruto, who appeared to have been trying to get his attention for some time.

“Sasuke? Sasukeeeeh…” he called, waving his hands around. 

Sasuke silently cursed himself.  _ So much for not arousing suspicion.  _ “Yes, fine,” he said smoothly, raising his palm to calm Naruto down. “I’ll go to your sight-seeing town.”   


Naruto opened his mouth, a smile forming on his lips and Sasuke’s brief lapse in attention seemingly already forgotten. 

“On one condition,” Sasuke added. “That we don’t stay in another expensive tourist hotel.” He stood up, smiling slightly at Naruto’s dismayed reaction. 

“Come on, bastard!” Naruto whined. “Don’t tell me you can’t afford it, rich boy. I know what side of Konoha you grew up on!”

Sasuke gave him a half-hearted glare. “It’s not a question of whether I can afford it or not,” he said. “Paying that much for a single night’s rest is ridiculous.”

“You’re so boring,” Naruto sighed. “But alright, fine. Now, let’s go!” 

They quickly packed up their campsite.  _ I’m still not sure what’s going through Naruto’s mind,  _ Sasuke thought as he worked. _ But as long as I act natural and observe him carefully, I will be able to find out.  _

With this in mind, he headed down the southeast road with Naruto, purpose in his every step as he left his anxiety far behind. As the sun rose to a higher point in the sky and they continued to walk, Sasuke found his worries further replaced by resolve. Now that he had a grasp on the situation, and a plan to deal with it, he felt confident that he would be able to spend the day with Naruto with no mishaps. 

  
  


***

Around an hour before noon, the two of them crested a hill and were greeted by the sight of Water Hollow Village in the distance. It was a picturesque little town: the traditional wooden houses with shining tile roofs were spread out across a steep hillside, catching the late morning sun. Even at this distance, Sasuke could see several small waterfalls, some disappearing behind stones and trees, evidently into the grottos which gave Water Hollow Village its name. 

“Wow,” Naruto gasped from beside him, breathless, and Sasuke could not help but understand his awe. He had seen many sights during his own years of travel, but nothing quite like this, and certainly never under such unhurried circumstances. He had always been on the road in those days, hunting down enemies or searching for information fueled by his obsessive fervor for revenge; everything around him had been marked in his eyes as either useful to his goal or not, and as such he had had little care to see those things he deemed inessential. Now, although he was technically still on a quest, Sasuke found himself almost beginning to appreciate the scenery around him, and the way it was illuminated by the high sun. 

Naruto and Sasuke continued their descent into the valley, towards the base of the village, with newfound energy in their steps after catching sight of their destination. 

As they approached the settlement a few strangers filed onto their road from other side trails, most likely tourists. Sasuke kept an eye on some of them as they strayed near him and Naruto, unused to seeing so many people after weeks of traveling on such remote roads, but nobody appeared remarkable and after a few glances even his suspicions were calmed. 

“There are a lot of people here,” Naruto remarked quietly, echoing Sasuke’s thoughts. “I guess I picked a popular spot!” 

Sasuke’s lips quirked up as he kept staring straight ahead. “It seems you did. Let’s hope the food isn’t too expensive because of that, or you may have to go hungry.” 

Naruto opened his mouth to retort but then, as if on cue, his stomach grumbled loudly. “You better not be cheap, asshole!” he said. 

Sasuke only shrugged lightly, refusing to reply even as he fought amusement out of his eyes.  _ Since when has Naruto made me laugh so much?  _

Changing the focus of his thoughts, he began to suppose that Naruto had the right idea about getting food. He had neglected to eat breakfast that morning, seeing as his stomach had already been filled with anxiety, but after calming his thoughts and walking for nearly two hours he was definitely feeling hungry. 

Just as he was beginning to daydream about the foods the village might have to offer, Naruto tugged at his sleeve. “Look!” he said, pointing. 

The first houses of the village were finally visible through the leaves of the short yet dense trees which grew at the bottom of the valley, and there appeared to be some sort of gate. As they drew closer, Sasuke realized that the structure wasn’t permanent― instead, it seemed to have been set up recently, and was decorated with lanterns and streamers of paper―

“Oh, it’s a banner!” Naruto exclaimed. “Sasuke, there must be a festival!” 

“A festival?” Sasuke asked. He wasn’t familiar with any Land of Fire holidays at this time.  _ What’s the date today?  _

“Probably a local thing,” Naruto smiled, stars in his eyes. “Every village has them in remote places like these! I always wanted to go to one…” 

Sasuke cast a sideways glance at his companion. He had never been particularly interested in local traditions, except for perhaps those of his own clan, but Naruto seemed to be impressed and so happy that it was hard for Sasuke to look away. 

He stopped his train of thought right there and went back to inspecting the banner.

There were no words on it or indication of what this festival might be celebrating, but the banner was blue and the streamers golden yellow. 

The tourists around them began to murmur excitedly amongst themselves as they caught sight of the banner. Sasuke supposed they must have traveled here for the purpose of attending this very event. 

Next to him, Naruto had come to the same conclusion and decided to act on it. “Hey, Ma’am!” he said, slowing his pace to match that of an old lady nearby. “My friend and I have never been to Water Hollow Village, and happened to come here during the festival period. Could you tell us what the people here are celebrating?”

Sasuke eyed Naruto and the woman, but the conversation seemed harmless enough so he allowed himself to listen. 

“Of course, dear!” the old lady smiled, evidently charmed by Naruto’s bright tone and demeanor.    
“This is the village’s annual festival for their kami, the Goddess of the Water Hollows. To celebrate they wear blue and gold, eat traditional foods, and bathe in the hollows after they have been blessed. You’re lucky to arrive today, because it’s the first day of the festival!” 

“Oh, I see,” Naruto nodded as she spoke. “Thank you for telling us!”

His eyes were shining with genuine interest, and Sasuke couldn’t help but pick up on the way Naruto had included him in his statement, referring to  _ us  _ despite the fact that Sasuke had barely acknowledged the woman. His eyebrows quirked slightly: once he might have mistaken this feeling as annoyance, but now it felt closer to endearment. 

He turned and finally bowed his head towards the old woman, who smiled back at him. 

“May I ask your names?” the woman asked then. “You two are such nice young men.” 

Sasuke’s mouth twitched, and he gave Naruto a fleeting look which was returned with understanding.  _ This is why we have been avoiding towns. Is the same thing going to happen as at Stony Crag Village?  _

But Naruto gave him a reassuring smile and turned back to the woman. “Of course, ma’am! I’m Uzumaki, uh, Kiba… and he’s…” 

Naruto paused as he looked at Sasuke again, slightly panicked despite his confidence just seconds ago. “Uzumaki… Neji!” 

Sasuke had to fight back a derisive snort; he schooled his expression and smiled again as the woman acknowledged his so-called name. “Nice to meet you,” he said.

“Likewise,” the woman said, smiling and nodding. “Well, I have to go attend to my wife. I’m afraid all the walking makes her rather tired. You two have a good time, alright?” 

“We will!” Naruto said cheerfully, even as he began to scratch the back of his head, a telltale sign of embarrassment. “Goodbye, ma’am!” 

He jogged a few paces to catch up. For a moment he was silent, so Sasuke finally gave him a look. He was surprised to see that Naruto’s cheeks were flaming red. 

“Sorry,” Naruto muttered, looking like he wanted to become one with the dirt beneath their feet. 

“Really, Neji?” Sasuke said, unable to resist teasing Naruto when he was already embarrassed. “I don’t think I look like a  _ Neji. _ ” 

Naruto looked him full in the face this time. “Wait, that’s what you’re annoyed by?” he asked. “Not the whole…”

Sasuke frowned. “What?” 

“You know…” 

“No, I don’t, actually.” 

Naruto looked surprised, then visibly relieved. “Oh, well, alright. It’s nothing.”

He began to walk faster again, and Sasuke frowned at the back of his golden head. 

“Usuratonkachi—” he began, but then shrugged and followed Naruto into the village. 

Naruto soon paused by the side of the road to get a good look at everything that was happening around them. They had barely entered the village, but it already seemed like a whole other world. The streets were crowded with people dressed in brightly-colored yukata; servants and volunteers wove between tourists with baskets of food and goods on their heads; there were decorated shrines and displays on every corner. Further up the street, there was a small square; Sasuke could see stalls crowded together, drawing in even more people. 

Naruto gave him a sideways look. “Lunch first?” he asked. 

Sasuke nodded. “Hm. That’s a good idea.” He was grateful that Naruto was on his wavelength. The sun overhead was beginning to burn and the crowd wasn’t getting any thinner, meaning trying to navigate this strange village would be hard in their current states. 

_ Or at least in mine,  _ Sasuke thought, thinking back to the less-than-stellar amount of sleep he had gotten last night as well as his nonexistent breakfast that morning. He cast a quick look up the street and noticed an inn close by. 

“Let’s go there,” he said, motioning forward. 

Naruto squinted ahead. “Where is it? It’s hard to see anything through this crowd.” 

Sasuke rolled his eyes. “It’s right―” 

Naruto shushed him suddenly, prompting Sasuke to give him a sharp look, but then―

“Here,” Naruto said, and he held out his hand. 

For a second, Sasuke just stared at it. The noise of the crowd and festivities around them seemed to blur, and the air between them was completely silent. 

“Come on, lead me over there!” Naruto was saying then, his loud voice setting everything back into motion, and Sasuke looked up in time to see a grin on his face which he quite honestly had no hope of resisting. 

So before he could overthink it any harder, he simply grabbed Naruto’s hand and dragged him up the street towards the inn, doing his best to make sure the path for both of them was cleared. 

It had never been too difficult for Sasuke to get through a crowd, even when presenting as a civilian. He took large strides, his shoulders were broad, and his expression always appeared vaguely in shadow. There was something about him that caused people to take just enough notice of him to step aside, even if they didn’t get the chance to register his face or other defining characteristics. Now was no exception, and before Sasuke knew it they were standing in front of the inn he had spotted. 

Naruto’s touch lingered just a second too long before he took his hand back, then he peered inside the building.   


“This looks good!” he announced, and Sasuke hummed in agreement. He stole a sideways look at Naruto as he did so, and was surprised to see his ears were suspiciously pink. 

_ Naruto is the one who offered his hand,  _ he thought.  _ So why is he embarrassed about it now?  _

He filed the question away to think about later and followed Naruto indoors. 

Upon entering they were immediately greeted by a smiling hostess, who hurried to get them seated. “You’re a little late for breakfast, but early for lunch,” she remarked as she got them settled down. “Did you just arrive in town?” 

“We did,” Sasuke confirmed, and she nodded in understanding. 

“I hope you enjoy your time here!” she said, then hesitated as she gave them another look. “Forgive me for asking, but you are here for the festival, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah, we are!” Naruto responded easily. “Though we actually didn’t know it was happening before we got here… Say, do you have any information about it to offer to us passers-by? All I know is that it is to honor your Water Hollow Goddess.” 

The hostess looked positively delighted to be able to inform them, and also appeared to be yet another woman to have fallen under Naruto’s spell. Sasuke wondered whether his own smiles directed towards the idiot were as obvious as hers. 

“You’re right that our festival is to honor the Water Hollow Goddess,” she began. “As you may have noticed, her colors are blue and gold. You’ll see a lot of people wearing yukata featuring these colors, as well as any of our traditional local weaves, which are supposed to represent the mountains, stars, and water. During the day people eat and dance and in the evening, after the blessing ritual, they bathe in the grottos.”

“That sounds great!” Naruto exclaimed as Sasuke nodded out of courtesy, more focused on paying attention to what she was saying.  _ We need as much information as we can get, to make sure we don’t call too much attention to ourselves.  _

“Hey,” Naruto asked then, “Are we supposed to wear the yukata too? We’ve been traveling recently, and…” 

“Oh, yes!” the woman said politely, although Sasuke could tell she had been tempted to ask about their dress the whole time. “You can buy them from several different vendors across the village. Don’t worry! A lot of newcomers buy them here once they arrive. And of course, it’s not a requirement.” 

“Alright,” Naruto said, turning back to Sasuke. “Hey, want to go buy them after we eat?” 

Sasuke hummed. “That’s fine with me,” he said, initially more out of politeness but softening when he saw the genuine excitement in Naruto’s eyes.  _ I didn’t realize he cared so much about these things.  _

He prevented himself from staring a moment too long and looked down at the menu instead. 

After he and Naruto had ordered, he sat back slightly in his chair. With the hostess gone, he realized how empty the establishment was― like she said, it was before most people would usually eat lunch. Because of how quiet the room was, Sasuke could feel Naruto’s excitement almost palpably in the air.

He hesitated for a moment, but then something compelled him to ask. “Naruto,” he began, and was immediately met with wide eyes looking into his own, “What about this festival has you so interested?” 

_ You never struck me as someone invested in local traditions,  _ he wanted to add, but Naruto had understood him and was already opening his mouth to answer. 

“That’s easy!” he said. “There’s food, games, and colorful clothing. What else do you want?” 

He didn’t seem like he was lying, but then he cast his gaze downwards. “Also, to be honest, going to these was always something I wanted to do as a kid, you know? But I didn’t have anyone to take me and, well, I didn’t have any money to go by myself. So they’ve always seemed like great places to go!” 

Naruto continued to smile valiantly as he spoke, but Sasuke didn’t miss the undertone of memory in his tone, and his own heart thrummed at the residue of pain it left in the air. 

“Well,” Sasuke began quietly, because now he felt like he had to share something too, “I haven’t really been able to enjoy festivals since the Uchiha clan held their last one together,” he confessed. 

“Oh,” Naruto said, and for a moment Sasuke thought the connection between them would open completely, because they were obviously feeling so much of the same heartache. 

The moment was interrupted when their food arrived. “Here you are!” the hostess said pleasantly. “Please enjoy your meal.” 

“Yes, thank you!” Naruto said, and Sasuke echoed his statement. 

Naruto looked genuinely happy to receive his food, but his expression dropped slightly when the hostess turned her back and he faced Sasuke again.  _ He’s sorry,  _ Sasuke realized, and for once he felt touched rather than angry at someone’s empathy towards him― maybe because he trusted Naruto not to misunderstand his past for weakness, or maybe simply because it was Naruto. 

_ You’re acting suspicious again,  _ Sasuke told himself sternly, but he couldn’t break contact with Naruto, not when the other man looked genuinely guilty. 

He didn’t know exactly which words to use at that moment, so instead, he took in an extra deep breath and accessed the connection, just a little bit.  _ It’s alright,  _ he thought, hoping the feeling would make itself understood.  _ I’m glad you’re happy, and that I am not causing you pain. I wish it could always be like this between us. _

Naruto’s eyes widened, as did Sasuke’s.  _ Hopefully he can’t actually read my thoughts.  _

But then Naruto smiled and nodded his head in silent thanks before picking up his chopsticks. 

“We’ll go buy our yukata after this,” Sasuke confirmed once more out loud, just to make entirely sure Naruto was aware of his intentions and knew that he was fine. 

His words generated the correct reaction: Naruto began to eat with relish after saying a quick thanks, and immediately surfaced from his plate with an expression of utter bliss. 

“It’s  _ so  _ good!” he exclaimed. “I really was right to come to this town.” 

Sasuke couldn’t hold back a smile at that, relieved Naruto hadn’t been driven to anxiety even after touching on the past. “It’s not bad,” he said, referring to the food. 

Naruto looked outraged. “Not bad… Not bad… You’re such a bastard, you know that?”

“It’s better than being an idiot,” Sasuke replied between bites. The food really  _ was  _ good, but he’d be damned if he would tell Naruto that now. 

“Take that back!” Naruto said. “I’m going to make sure you get the weirdest-looking yukata.”

“What you consider weird is most likely anyone else’s normal,” Sasuke said, eyeing Naruto’s orange outfit. 

“You―” Naruto stared at him a moment longer, eyes sparkling with humor, then returned to his food. “You have some nerve.” 

Sasuke’s smile left his eyes, only dancing on his lips as he looked down at his plate.  _ If only I did,  _ he thought.  _ If only I did.  _

_ Then again,  _ he supposed,  _ If I did have the nerve, we wouldn’t be spending this day together. So maybe cowardice can be a virtue, just this once.  _

With that, he began eating faster than before. He really  _ was  _ hungry, after all. 

  
  


***

They took their time eating, and by the time they were done the restaurant was beginning to fill with people looking for lunch. Noticing this, Naruto and Sasuke shared a conspiratorial glance.  _ More people in here means less outside.  _

“Ready to go clothes shopping?” Naruto asked after they had paid, making to stand up. 

Sasuke gave him a sideways glance, mildly amused. “If that’s how you want to put it.” 

They bickered their way up the street, and Sasuke found himself much more relaxed after eating and getting used to the initial feeling of the village. Also, with fewer people on the streets, it was easier to think. 

“Here we are!” Naruto said moments later. They had reached the square Sasuke had noticed before. There were even more stalls than he had expected, including some selling clothing, just as the hostess at the restaurant had promised. 

“No,” Sasuke said when he noticed Naruto eyeing the food stalls despite the fact that they had  _ just  _ eaten, and he pulled the man over towards a clothing stall instead. Once they were standing in front of it, he let go of Naruto’s hand, not entirely sure why he had taken it so easily in the first place. 

Beside him, Naruto appeared not to think too much of it, but the stall owner was a different story. “Oh, hello!” he greeted them, looking quickly down at their hands in a way they probably weren’t meant to notice, even though Sasuke  _ definitely _ did. 

His expression tightened minutely, and he greeted the owner back with a nod. 

“We’re new here, and looking for festival clothing!” Naruto announced, evidently without having seen anything, which Sasuke was grateful for. 

“Festival clothing, hmm?” the owner asked. He was a kind-eyed older man, and definitely had a whistle of eccentricity in his voice. “You’re in luck. Festival clothing happens to be the only thing I sell!” 

Naruto giggled at the shopkeeper’s grandiose gestures, and Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Shopkeeper-san, what color do you think would look good on me?” he asked, leaning forward, and Sasuke tried even harder not to cringe because _damn it, of course,_ _this idiot is going along with the dramatics._

“Hmm,” the man replied, matching Naruto’s enthusiasm gesture by gesture and sound by sound, “Let me look around.” 

His gaze shifted from Naruto and focused on Sasuke instead, almost as if he were searching for some sort of permission. “Am I correct in assuming you two are… together?” 

“Yes!” Naruto exclaimed, drawing all attention back to him. 

Sasuke froze. 

“We’re traveling together, and happened to stop here while the festival was happening,” Naruto explained innocently. 

Sasuke had never had to clench so many of his muscles at once: he practically ached with the desire to either shut Naruto up or shut himself down, so that he wouldn’t have to hear any more of this. 

“We’re  _ traveling companions, _ ” he said icily, pointedly not looking at Naruto. 

But Naruto didn’t take the hint, likely encouraged by the shopkeeper’s behavior. “My  _ companion  _ here is just being cool,” he stage-whispered across the counter, “He’s like that sometimes.” 

This time, Sasuke  _ did  _ roll his eyes. 

“Anyway, anyway, back to your clothing,” the shopkeeper said then, turning away just before the moment could become too unbearable. “I think… for you… hmm…your hair colors contrast each other well… your skin tones are different, which means you’ll need different base colors so that neither of your complexions are washed out… and then...” Thankfully, his spirited monologue soon filled the silence. 

“Isn’t this fun?” Naruto asked from beside him. “I didn’t realize buying clothes could be like this.” 

Sasuke tried his hardest to remain sour at the actions of the two idiots in his vicinity, but something sparkling in Naruto’s eyes made it hard for him to hold onto any bitterness. 

“What do you think of these?” the shopkeeper asked then, bustling back into the foreground. He had one yukata draped over each arm and handed them over accordingly. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to make any alterations, but I believe these will fit.” 

Sasuke silently took the one proffered to him, holding it up to take a look. He was pleasantly surprised: clothing had never been of much interest to him besides utility and, at times, Clan pride, but this yukata was of finer quality than something he expected to see at a local festival. 

“Local traditional weave,” the shopkeeper said proudly, as if reading his mind. “Some of the finest around, if I do say so myself.” 

The yukata was a deep blue color, with a white collar and golden detailing in a pattern which he had indeed never seen before. 

“Oh, they match!” Naruto said, prompting Sasuke to look over. His comment was right: Naruto’s yukata had inverted colors, white with a blue collar, and detailing in that same local pattern. 

“I’ll give you a discounted price since they do,” winked the man. Sasuke gave him a sharp look, but he had already turned away. 

“ _ Nice, _ ” Naruto said, pumping his fist in celebration, “More money for food.”

The stall owner folded up the two yukata and put them in a bag. “Are you each paying for your own?” he asked, eyeing Sasuke as if finally taken the hints he had been giving all along. 

But Sasuke stepped forward. “I’ll pay,” he said imperiously, and Naruto giggled from beside him. The shopkeeper didn’t look surprised at all, but fortunately, he didn’t say anything. 

Sasuke completed the transaction without any more embarrassing incidents, then took his leave. 

“Goodbye, shopkeeper-san!” Naruto said, waving cheerfully as they left. Then he jogged a few paces to catch up with Sasuke. “Hey, thanks for paying,” he said. 

“It’s nothing,” Sasuke said, even though he was secretly hoping Naruto would pay him back— though not because he cared about the money.  _ Because if Naruto doesn’t start acting differently, I’m almost going to start to believe that he doesn’t just see me as his goal, that he actually―  _

He stopped his train of thought there.  _ It’s impossible.  _

“We’ll look so cool in these!” Naruto said. “It’s kind of… fun they match, isn’t it?” 

Sasuke didn’t dare to check and see whether he was blushing. 

“There’s a restaurant there, maybe they’ll let us change in their bathroom,” he said, looking straight ahead. 

“Good idea!” Naruto said. 

A few moments later they had both changed and were facing each other in the shadow of one of the buildings. 

“You look, um―” Naruto began, before suddenly looking away. “I still can’t believe you bought both of these,  _ rich boy. _ ” 

Sasuke was relieved at the jab. “Hmph,” he snorted. “You should be grateful. If I hadn’t stepped in, you would be wearing a sack right now.”   


“Hey!” Naruto exclaimed, “No I wouldn’t.” 

Sasuke inclined his head, only somewhat mockingly. “If you say so.” 

“Anyway, let’s go get more food. It smells delicious, doesn’t it?” Naruto was beaming again, dragging Sasuke around like he always did when he was excited.

_ Like he did that night at the hotel when we looked out over the city together. And like he did when he first came with me on this journey. And like he always did when we were kids.  _

Something in Sasuke ached when he realized he would never be able to see these actions as casually as he once had. 

_ We’re pretending everything is normal, bickering like we always do. You and your insults, me and my sarcasm. But it’s a cover for something, isn’t it? You feel it too, don’t you, Naruto... that something is going to change between us.  _

As he followed Naruto back into the crowd, admiring the way the sun caught his golden hair and edges of the yukata which matched his own, Sasuke allowed a bittersweet smile to cross his expression. After taking such care to observe Naruto, he had reason to believe that the other’s feelings towards him had shifted, just as his own had. At the same time, he knew they couldn’t be feeling the same thing. Sasuke was Naruto’s goal; it was impossible for his feelings to have shifted from such dogged obligation to anything romantic. And Naruto was the one Sasuke cared for most, but he would soon have to put distance between them in order to allow Naruto to focus on what he was truly passionate about.

_ I know things have to change between us, Naruto,  _ he thought as he watched the man he loved dart further across the square.  _ But still, I wish this could last a little longer. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it just me, or are things looking up for these two...? next week will be the conclusion of their day out together, please look forward to it :) 
> 
> as always, feedback here or on twitter @sasugayuchlha is greatly appreciated!! also, I want to give an extra shoutout to my two amazing beta readers, who helped me to improve this as well as the previous chapter particularly much. this story wouldn't be the same without them <3


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